How could an uneducated farm boy do it?

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_SatanWasSetUp
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How could an uneducated farm boy do it?

Post by _SatanWasSetUp »

I'm not talking about writing the Book of Mormon. Any uneducated farm boy could write that piece of crap. I'm talking about getting 33 women to say "yes" to him. That's the more impressive feat. How could an uneducated farm boy propose to dozens of women and actually get 33 of them to accept his proposal. Like most boys, I suppose Joseph Smith laid awake at night wishing he was married so there was a naked woman in bed for him to have sex with. He probably never imagined that his dreams would come true, not with just one woman, but 33. Most of us are lucky to get one. This feat is amazing and I'm surprised more apologists aren't asking this question instead of how could an uneducated farm boy write the Book of Mormon.
"We of this Church do not rely on any man-made statement concerning the nature of Deity. Our knowledge comes directly from the personal experience of Joseph Smith." - Gordon B. Hinckley

"It's wrong to criticize leaders of the Mormon Church even if the criticism is true." - Dallin H. Oaks
_Mercury
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Post by _Mercury »

He was the leader of a cult. he could have ordered every Mormon under his control to strip naked in Nauvoo square to look for witches marks and they would have happily obliged.

Power is the ultimate currency.
And crawling on the planet's face
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_ktallamigo
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Really effective pickup line

Post by _ktallamigo »

I think a really effective pickup line is that an angel with a drawn sword is going to destroy me if you don't marry me and have sex with me. That would influence a young, admiring follower.
"Brigham said the day would come when thousands would be made Eunuchs in order for them to be saved in the kingdom of God." (Wilford Woodruff's Diary, June 2, 1857, Vol. 5, pages 54-55)
_Boaz & Lidia
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Re: Really effective pickup line

Post by _Boaz & Lidia »

ktallamigo wrote:I think a really effective pickup line is that an angel with a drawn sword is going to destroy me if you don't marry me and have sex with me. That would influence a young, admiring follower.
The flaming sword was him describing the VD he had on his pecker.

"Joseph said it hurts when he pees", Emma said.
_Some Schmo
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Re: How could an uneducated farm boy do it?

Post by _Some Schmo »

SatanWasSetUp wrote:I'm talking about getting 33 women to say "yes" to him. That's the more impressive feat. How could an uneducated farm boy propose to dozens of women and actually get 33 of them to accept his proposal.


Well, I'm of the opinion that the majority of what Joseph Smith did centered around his goal to get laid as much as possible. He sounds like the epitome of a sexual addict, and all other actions flowed from that one need. As Tony Montana in Scarface pointed out, "In this country, you gotta make the money first. Then when you get the money, you get the power. Then when you get the power, then you get the women."

It wouldn't surprise me at all the S. Freud has Joseph Smith in mind when he wrote a number of his hypotheses.
God belief is for people who don't want to live life on the universe's terms.
_harmony
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Re: Really effective pickup line

Post by _harmony »

ktallamigo wrote:I think a really effective pickup line is that an angel with a drawn sword is going to destroy me if you don't marry me and have sex with me. That would influence a young, admiring follower.


I'd have told the angel to do whatever was necessary.

Good grief.
_SatanWasSetUp
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Re: Really effective pickup line

Post by _SatanWasSetUp »

ktallamigo wrote:I think a really effective pickup line is that an angel with a drawn sword is going to destroy me if you don't marry me and have sex with me. That would influence a young, admiring follower.


I've tried that pickup line before. It doesn't work. The fact that regular guys can't get that line to work for them is proof that Joseph Smith was a true prophet. Maybe instead of Nibley's Book of Mormon challenge, we should have the Polygamy challenge.

1) You are a young man with a wife and kids.
2) Get caught screwing your nanny.
3) Come up with a story about how you screwed her because she is your wife, and she is your wife because god commanded you to marry her.
4) Have your real wife believe you.
5) Use this story, or variations of it such as an angel with a flaming sword commended you, to propose to another lady in your ward. The lady may or may not accept your proposal.
6) Your wife still doesn't leave you.
7) Repeat steps 4 and 5 ad nauseum until you have attained 33 wives.

You have 14 years to complete your task. Get to work. This little excecise whould prove to you that Joseph Smith really was a prophet.
"We of this Church do not rely on any man-made statement concerning the nature of Deity. Our knowledge comes directly from the personal experience of Joseph Smith." - Gordon B. Hinckley

"It's wrong to criticize leaders of the Mormon Church even if the criticism is true." - Dallin H. Oaks
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