unwell3398 wrote:I'm not on the internet too much, and it's nice to get a welcome!
Not only is the Mormon church used against us when we leave, but it's difficult to "leave the church alone" because it's something ingrained in us, and when we see something we disagree with we now want to point it out. I've been railed against due to that, but they can point out everything they don't like about non or ex-mormons that they want!
Yes indeed. There is a HUGE double standard in the church.
The members can be as judgmental as they want about non members, but as soon as you judge them, well, you're wicked and angry and anti and fighting against God.
If there's one thing I've learned from this board, it's that consensual sex with multiple partners is okay unless God commands it. - Abman
I find this place to be hostile toward all brands of stupidity. That's why I like it. - Some Schmo
...and maybe it's because I finally got the h*** out of Utah (Phoneix and now Boston), but I feel like I can appreciate all aspects of life now that I'm not Mormon. There was such a limit on not only what you could enjoy, but what you should enjoy, and there is so much more out there that is not evil to enjoy that it's blown my mind. Even simple things, like going swimming or to the beach on Sundays, getting a tattoo for my beloved friend who just passed away, not having to wear skirts or dresses once a week (I hated that!), going to a restaurant and enjoying a nice glass of wine with my dinner....the list is endless. I know many Mormon friends of my youth who ask me, "but is all of that really worth your eternal salvation?" or tell me they don't see what's so amazing about not being Mormon and what we can do, and I just tell them...yes. Yes it is worth it. That's one big difference between TBMs and ex's is that we can see the good in so many things, and the rewards they provide, not just how so many things are bad or evil. I feel that my life has been enriched by "the ways of the world," since they're not all so bad; in fact, they can be incredible.
Go ahead, people I know can judge me, but no one has anything to say about me that can make me feel bad or my experiences less special.
What I was surprised by when I lost faith and left the church was that I remained - ermm - myself! Weird that... :)
It's funny that that was a genuine surprise to me. I seriously expected to become a completely different person...
Sethbag wrote:An interesting aspect of this includes fellowship with others. I live in a part of Arizona teeming with Mormons. I wouldn't say a majority of my neighbors are Mormon, but a great deal of them are. Now that I haven't gone to Sunday School or Priesthood Meeting for about the last year or so, I really haven't had much to do with very many members. When I was attending, and before it became obvious that I wasn't a believer anymore, I had more friendly associations with other members. It's not that I was bosom buddies with anyone, but I was on good terms with people at Church, and we'd talk, and we had one couple over for dinner before, and went over to theirs for dinner*. I also participated in more Elder's Quorum activities that were fun.
Now that my apostasy is well-enough known, and I haven't been going to Priesthood, I'm pretty much a loner. I work from home, I hardly ever see any elders from my ward, and don't do very much with any of my neighbors. There's one neighbor I do talk with sometimes and we've done some other things, but I wouldn't say we're close friends or anything like that.
Since I'm not a member of any clubs, fraternal societies, or anything else, not attending church and not working in a traditional office have radically limited by opportunities for socializing with others.
In a way, that could be said to contribute to unhappiness. I wouldn't necessarily say I'm unhappy though - just that I probably could be happier if I had more people to do stuff with.
I think if my people who apostatize experience similar changes to their social life as I have, that could materially impinge on their perceived happiness by others. I guess everyone's case is different.
*I think I killed off that potential friendship by making the mistake of arguing against the church's position on gay marriage. The guy in this couple had been passing an information sheet around trying to recruit people to vote for an anti-gay marriage proposal that was going to be on the ballot. I told him I wouldn't support that, and we argued about gay marriage for a while and I think he concluded that I rejected the positions of our prophets and presented some sort of danger, and we haven't had a whole lot to do with each other ever since. We've exchanged pleasantries after Sacrament Meeting sometimes, but neither has been to the other's house ever since.
This is very true. Most main stream Church members will not allow for the fact that leaving in and of itself can be a troublesome ordeal. Relationships are severed and many end up quite alone. Plus your head is full of all this stuff you want to say, but no one wants to hear.
I think my family and I are much happier. Our family tells us we are not. When we point out to my mother in law that there is (acknowledge) unhappiness in her life caused by the Church, she blames it on herself.
RenegadeOfPhunk wrote:What I was surprised by when I lost faith and left the church was that I remained - ermm - myself! Weird that... :) It's funny that that was a genuine surprise to me. I seriously expected to become a completely different person...
I've been toying with the idea of jumping ship. If I do, I hope I become a different person. Maybe someone that can shoot laser-beams from their eyes, or something similarly groovy.
Or maybe a Republican.
"Some people never go crazy. What truly horrible lives they must lead." ~Charles Bukowski
RenegadeOfPhunk wrote:What I was surprised by when I lost faith and left the church was that I remained - ermm - myself! Weird that... :) It's funny that that was a genuine surprise to me. I seriously expected to become a completely different person...
I've been toying with the idea of jumping ship. If I do, I hope I become a different person. Maybe someone that can shoot laser-beams from their eyes, or something similarly groovy.
Or maybe a Republican.
Well, you know, you're either all in or all out. The church doesn't want fence sitters. (Where is that quote from???)
If there's one thing I've learned from this board, it's that consensual sex with multiple partners is okay unless God commands it. - Abman
I find this place to be hostile toward all brands of stupidity. That's why I like it. - Some Schmo
Doc wrote:I've been toying with the idea of jumping ship. If I do, I hope I become a different person. Maybe someone that can shoot laser-beams from their eyes, or something similarly groovy.
Well... Who'd have thought that I would leave the Mormon church and yet still become a GOD!!!!!! Huh?!
...bow down before me you slimy piece of worm rid...