Mormon Depression...why?

[_Tori]

Coggins:

1. Are you a woman?

2. Do you attend Relief Society every week?

3. Did you attend Young Women's meetings growing up every week?

4. How could you understand the Mormon woman's experience, never having been one?

5. It is not always spoken, but implied.

6. I have actually sat through Relief Society lessons where women were denounced for working outside the home.

7. Some of it is cultural, rather than doctrinal - but it is still there.

8. I grew up in Salt Lake City - the heart of Mormonism. It is not just me.

9. I have talked to many peers - Mormon women who feel these pressures.

10. "Be ye therefore perfect...."

ktall

Yea....I would just ignore him. 'He speaks, yet he says nothing!' :-) You've heard of someone that likes to "hear himself talk"? Well, Coggins likes to read himself talk. I think he must be taking a creative writing class or something because much of what he writes reminds me of those assignments where you are suppose to use as many adjectives as you can come up with and just write them whether they make sense or not!

....and....truthfully, he hasn't a clue as to why women in the LDS Church have such a high rate of depression or why they feel the stress that they quite obviously do. He doesn't know at all. He has shown over and over again that compassion isn't part of his make-up. It's rather surprising to me actually. Most people I know that are in recovery are quite compassionate. Coggins is just always so pi**ed off. I don't get it.

By the way....I remember well, the Relief Society meeting where we were admonished to not work outside of the home. I also remember the damage control that went on after by Church Leaders as they tried to explain what was 'really meant' by that 'revelation' as mothers Church wide tried to decide whether they should quit their jobs so that they could be deemed 'faithful'.

[_bcspace]

As a Mormon woman I am expected to be perfect - have a perfect home, children, marriage, fulfill all my callings going the extra mile, hold family prayers twice a day plus meals, plan and hold family home evening (and it must be creative, interesting, with lots of games and visual aids, and my kids must joyuously attend without any complaint), I am supposed to have tons of kids without gaining any weight, fix delicious food without gaining any weight, be loving and forgiving all the time, be wealthy (since God blesses us when we pay our tithing, or when we are the truly righteous). I am supposed to attend meetings during the week, make sure all my children get their Eagle Scout, make sure they all have perfect grades, go on a date once a week with my spouse, yet I should be with my children all the time. I shouldn't work outside the home, but since I do I am made to feel guilty and am still expected to meet the same standards of perfections as a woman who stays home all day. I need to attend the temple, do my geneaology, visit the sick, serve others in the ward, bring in dinners to those who are ill, serve in my community, dress nicely but not immodestly, exercise, help my children with their homework, have plenty of energy at the end of the day to have sex with my husband, look beautiful every day (and no aging -- please!). I must sing, play the piano, play the violin, afford lessons for my children to do these things, attend all the soccer and basketball games for each of my children, perhaps volunteer to help with them, bring treats, join the PTA, volunteer in my child's classroom.... and on, and on, and on. I need to do my visiting teaching every month and bring a small gift or handout. I must scrapbook every moment of each child's life. I must pay an honest tithe on the gross, even if I can't afford it, plus the fast offerings, and the missionary fund, and the perpetual education fund, etc. I need to quilt, cross-stitch, sew clothes, and make crafts. I must...

What a load of hooey. At best, by this same logic, an LDS man is expected to do/perform the same or similar/analogous things.

[_Moniker]

As I looked over this again, I realized that it was nothing but the spleen venting of an adolescent mentality looking for a shoulder to cry on because something's wrong inside and the ex-Mos/liberals is an easy scapegoat that allows displacement of anger and frustration onto an external and relives one of the need to do serious work on one's own life.

Sorry to have misunderstood.

About 90% of the above is raw, unvarnished nonsense, but don't let that stop a good ex-Mos/liberals bashing session.

*edited by Moniker*

[_Coggins7]

Yea....I would just ignore him. 'He speaks, yet he says nothing!' :-) You've heard of someone that likes to "hear himself talk"? Well, Coggins likes to read himself talk. I think he must be taking a creative writing class or something because much of what he writes reminds me of those assignments where you are suppose to use as many adjectives as you can come up with and just write them whether they make sense or not!

....and....truthfully, he hasn't a clue as to why women in the LDS Church have such a high rate of depression or why they feel the stress that they quite obviously do. He doesn't know at all. He has shown over and over again that compassion isn't part of his make-up. It's rather surprising to me actually. Most people I know that are in recovery are quite compassionate. Coggins is just always so pi**ed off. I don't get it.

By the way....I remember well, the Relief Society meeting where we were admonished to not work outside of the home. I also remember the damage control that went on after by Church Leaders as they tried to explain what was 'really meant' by that 'revelation' as mothers Church wide tried to decide whether they should quit their jobs so that they could be deemed 'faithful'.

Now, if your rant is quite finished, care to engage any of the substantive points I made?

[_Coggins7]

As I looked over this again, I realized that it was nothing but the spleen venting of an adolescent mentality looking for a shoulder to cry on because something's wrong inside and the ex-Mos/liberals is an easy scapegoat that allows displacement of anger and frustration onto an external and relives one of the need to do serious work on one's own life.

Sorry to have misunderstood.

About 90% of the above is raw, unvarnished nonsense, but don't let that stop a good ex-Mos/liberals bashing session.

*edited by Moniker*

Uh, what are Ex-mos Liberals?

[_Moniker]

Uh, what are Ex-mos Liberals?

I'm not entirely certain. Yet, apparently they all have nipple clamps, suffer from depression, and have an abundant supply of plastic bananas.

Sheesh, is there a rule that I can't hyphenate??? I like it better hyphenated for some reason...

[_Jersey Girl]

Uh, what are Ex-mos Liberals?

I'm not entirely certain. Yet, apparently they all have nipple clamps, suffer from depression, and have an abundant supply of plastic bananas.

Sheesh, is there a rule that I can't hyphenate??? I like it better hyphenated for some reason...

Geez. Ex-Mo's.

[_Coggins7]

As a Mormon woman I am expected to be perfect - have a perfect home, children, marriage, fulfill all my callings going the extra mile, hold family prayers twice a day plus meals, plan and hold family home evening (and it must be creative, interesting, with lots of games and visual aids, and my kids must joyuously attend without any complaint), I am supposed to have tons of kids without gaining any weight, fix delicious food without gaining any weight, be loving and forgiving all the time, be wealthy (since God blesses us when we pay our tithing, or when we are the truly righteous). I am supposed to attend meetings during the week, make sure all my children get their Eagle Scout, make sure they all have perfect grades, go on a date once a week with my spouse, yet I should be with my children all the time. I shouldn't work outside the home, but since I do I am made to feel guilty and am still expected to meet the same standards of perfections as a woman who stays home all day. I need to attend the temple, do my geneaology, visit the sick, serve others in the ward, bring in dinners to those who are ill, serve in my community, dress nicely but not immodestly, exercise, help my children with their homework, have plenty of energy at the end of the day to have sex with my husband, look beautiful every day (and no aging -- please!). I must sing, play the piano, play the violin, afford lessons for my children to do these things, attend all the soccer and basketball games for each of my children, perhaps volunteer to help with them, bring treats, join the PTA, volunteer in my child's classroom.... and on, and on, and on. I need to do my visiting teaching every month and bring a small gift or handout. I must scrapbook every moment of each child's life. I must pay an honest tithe on the gross, even if I can't afford it, plus the fast offerings, and the missionary fund, and the perpetual education fund, etc. I need to quilt, cross-stitch, sew clothes, and make crafts. I must...

What a load of hooey. At best, by this same logic, an LDS man is expected to do/perform the same or similar/analogous things.

Hmmm, the same response, in essence, as mine (albeit a great deal more concentrated).

I really wish there was a much more substantial population of apologists here now and then, so I could gauge the majority reaction to claims such as the ones amigo has made above. The overwhelming number of critics here, and especially those who are kind of sitting on the fence on many issues, doesn't give us a good measure of what the average "TBM" is going to think faced with similar claims. I'm always thought to be a fire breathing, hateful, insensitive brute, and yet, I don't see myself that way (I can be combative, but as rc says, nobody's perfect).

bc seems to have an initial take on it similar to mine. I wonder what another five, or ten, or 20 TBMs, migrating over from MAD might think, faced with the same rat's nest of criticisms?

Oh, that's right, he must be a fire breathing, hateful, insensitive brute as well. That must be the answer. Oh, and he's also not a woman, and any LDS man who is not an LDS woman (Scratch, stay out of this) cannot understand, comprehend, or have anything relevant to say about "woman's issues".

Yes, let's bring gender feminism into the Church, and divide the sexes into hostile tribes, just like the secular world has done. That way, all people like amigo and Tori need to do, when confronted with their ostensive fabrications, is roll their eyes and slam the door.

[Dr. Sunstoned]

I'm not entirely certain. Yet, apparently they all have nipple clamps, suffer from depression, and have an abundant supply of plastic bananas.

Anyone who combines nipple clamps with plastic bananas, especially after 3 or 4 Long Island Ice Teas deserves to be depressed.

[_Moniker]

What a load of hooey. At best, by this same logic, an LDS man is expected to do/perform the same or similar/analogous things.

Do LDS men scrapbook? This explains a lot!

Obsessive scrapbooking = mental dysfunction, imho