An LDS Funeral.

[_Bryan Inks]

One of my best friends in the world is being shipped out to Iraq for a year. He was en route this past week when he received a call about his mother.

Kathy has been fighting a lot of health problems for the last 5+ years and has been hospitalized for the last month. Two weeks ago she went into a coma. This week, she went into cardiac arrest and they decided to bring her off life support.

My friend was granted 4 days leave to come home and get the memorial organized.

The Memorial was yesterday. I was, originally, planning on being out of state but supporting my friend comes way above anything else I had planned.

This was the first time I have been back in an LDS church for any service since 2003. And you know what was odd? The fact that there was no difference between a normal Sacrament meeting and this funeral.

Songs praising Joseph Smith? Check.
Long, drawn-out prayers to showcase personal spirituality? Check.

I think the thing that pissed me off the most, out of everything else, was Kathy's bishop.

This man stood at the pulpit and compared losing a mother to, I kid you not, the Utah Jazz and BYU both losing at basketball on the same day.

It was infuriating and insensitive.

All in all, I think yesterday reminded me, above everything, that I'm grateful that Mormonism has no hold over me.

[_Infymus]

You've got Boyd KKK Packer to thank for that.

Yep, funerals are no longer about the deceased. They are now proselytizing sessions.

Talk about tithing or talk about Joseph Smith, but don't mention the dead person.

It amazes me how much Mormons use funerals as proselytizing sessions. The attitudes are “isn't it wonderful that we're not depressed at funerals because we know so much about the afterlife.” They go on and on about how wonderful the gospel is because they have the “One and True Church” and that the “Plan of Salvation” was so wonderful.

Mormonism. Isn't it marvelous and yet pathetic at the same time.

[_harmony]

One of my best friends in the world is being shipped out to Iraq for a year. He was en route this past week when he received a call about his mother.

Kathy has been fighting a lot of health problems for the last 5+ years and has been hospitalized for the last month. Two weeks ago she went into a coma. This week, she went into cardiac arrest and they decided to bring her off life support.

My friend was granted 4 days leave to come home and get the memorial organized.

The Memorial was yesterday. I was, originally, planning on being out of state but supporting my friend comes way above anything else I had planned.

This was the first time I have been back in an LDS church for any service since 2003. And you know what was odd? The fact that there was no difference between a normal Sacrament meeting and this funeral.

Songs praising Joseph Smith? Check.
Long, drawn-out prayers to showcase personal spirituality? Check.

I think the thing that pissed me off the most, out of everything else, was Kathy's bishop.

This man stood at the pulpit and compared losing a mother to, I kid you not, the Utah Jazz and BYU both losing at basketball on the same day.

It was infuriating and insensitive.

All in all, I think yesterday reminded me, above everything, that I'm grateful that Mormonism has no hold over me.

One of the least inspired talks ever given has to be the one Packer(?) gave about funerals. My sympathies to both your friend and his family. And when it's your own mother's turn to be honored, make sure she's appropriately honored, instead of being compared to a sport many of us only endure.

[_Scottie]

They actually talked about Joseph Smith????

[_Jersey Girl]

One of my best friends in the world is being shipped out to Iraq for a year. He was en route this past week when he received a call about his mother.

Kathy has been fighting a lot of health problems for the last 5+ years and has been hospitalized for the last month. Two weeks ago she went into a coma. This week, she went into cardiac arrest and they decided to bring her off life support.

My friend was granted 4 days leave to come home and get the memorial organized.

The Memorial was yesterday. I was, originally, planning on being out of state but supporting my friend comes way above anything else I had planned.

This was the first time I have been back in an LDS church for any service since 2003. And you know what was odd? The fact that there was no difference between a normal Sacrament meeting and this funeral.

Songs praising Joseph Smith? Check.
Long, drawn-out prayers to showcase personal spirituality? Check.

I think the thing that pissed me off the most, out of everything else, was Kathy's bishop.

This man stood at the pulpit and compared losing a mother to, I kid you not, the Utah Jazz and BYU both losing at basketball on the same day.

It was infuriating and insensitive.

All in all, I think yesterday reminded me, above everything, that I'm grateful that Mormonism has no hold over me.

I am genuinely sorry to hear about how that was handled, Bryan. I just did want to say that about 10 years ago a young LDS man here committed suicide and while I didn't go to the memorial, I did contribute baby sitting for some who did. Anyway, in that particular case, they actually did memorialize the young man with a slide show, music and peer speakers.

Why is it that so much I hear about the church in terms of family hardship comes off so cold and institutional?

Sometimes I think of the LDS church as a church with no heart, though I can think of single instances where that is not the case.

[_sunstoned]

It’s sad that the quest for total control will extend itself into the grieving process of the family. Instead of honoring a loved one, celebrating her life and getting some closure, the church turns it into a recruiting session. Their insensitivity sickens me.

[_harmony]

It’s sad that the quest for total control will extend itself into the grieving process of the family. Instead of honoring a loved one, celebrating her life and getting some closure, the church turns it into a recruiting session. Their insensitivity sickens me.

It's not viewed as insensitivity. It's viewed as taking every opportunity to spread the gospel, and the assumption is that the deceased would applaud the effort. Of course that doesn't mean the practice isn't insensitive. It just means church leaders are so myopic, they wouldn't see it that way.

[_moksha]

It is imperative that LDS families speak up and make sure the eulogists at the funeral do not try to turn the funeral into an evangelizing opportunity.

[_Infymus]

It is imperative that LDS families speak up and make sure the eulogists at the funeral do not try to turn the funeral into an evangelizing opportunity.

No, they cannot speak up. That would be speaking out against their leaders - and you know, even if their leaders are wrong, individuals need to keep it to themselves. You have Oaks to thank for that.

And if they speak up, then they are going against not just one, but two of the Lord's so-called "Anointed".

Comon Moksha, get with the Mormon program, or are you one of those heathen intellectuals?

[_Jason Bourne]

One of my best friends in the world is being shipped out to Iraq for a year. He was en route this past week when he received a call about his mother.

Kathy has been fighting a lot of health problems for the last 5+ years and has been hospitalized for the last month. Two weeks ago she went into a coma. This week, she went into cardiac arrest and they decided to bring her off life support.

My friend was granted 4 days leave to come home and get the memorial organized.

The Memorial was yesterday. I was, originally, planning on being out of state but supporting my friend comes way above anything else I had planned.

This was the first time I have been back in an LDS church for any service since 2003. And you know what was odd? The fact that there was no difference between a normal Sacrament meeting and this funeral.

Songs praising Joseph Smith? Check.
Long, drawn-out prayers to showcase personal spirituality? Check.

I think the thing that pissed me off the most, out of everything else, was Kathy's bishop.

This man stood at the pulpit and compared losing a mother to, I kid you not, the Utah Jazz and BYU both losing at basketball on the same day.

It was infuriating and insensitive.

All in all, I think yesterday reminded me, above everything, that I'm grateful that Mormonism has no hold over me.

I am sorry to hear that. Almost all LDS funerals I have been part of , both in running and attending have been nothing like what you describe.