Mormon God's Penis

Post by **_Gazelam** » Tue Apr 15, 2008 10:04 pm

The deep seated psycological reason behind Kims desire for an asexual God.

Post by **_Bond...James Bond** » Tue Apr 15, 2008 10:06 pm

silentkid wrote:All this talk about Mormon God's penis and no mention of His balls. We're neglecting the balls, people!

And his pubes...

Post by **_beastie** » Tue Apr 15, 2008 10:15 pm

Actually, I believe it would be more accurate to say most apologists (those who publish, not the internet message board type like me) would say Brigham Young's views on deity and procreation are not considered official doctrine of the LDS Church.

You are incorrect. They argue that since BY didn't clearly specify that sex took place, and instead use vaguer terms, then it it is erroneous to insist he was referring to the actual act of sex.

IF they ever accepted being "pinned down" on what BY really meant (and we all know what he meant, don't we), then they would probably pull out the 'not doctrine" card. I couldn't care less about that particular argument. If something is a pervasive LDS teaching or belief, that's significant enough. Besides, the only Mormons I've known who parse about "doctrine" are internet apologists.

Go start a thread about it on MAD. I'm not sure they'll allow it, but you might as well try.

Post by **_beastie** » Tue Apr 15, 2008 10:17 pm

Because if you don't, you'll get whacked. ;-)

Or you will miss out on the extra poontang.

Post by **_Moniker** » Tue Apr 15, 2008 10:20 pm

It is too frickin nuts that people think God is a mammal with a woody up in lala land that came down and boinked Mary.

It is actually scary!

Post by **_Moniker** » Tue Apr 15, 2008 10:21 pm

It is soooooo frightening, in fact, that I may have to start wearing a chastity belt every night!

Did she get dinner?

Post by **_Gazelam** » Tue Apr 15, 2008 10:22 pm

Moniker wrote:It is too frickin nuts that people think God is a mammal with a woody up in lala land that came down and boinked Mary.

It is actually scary!

Whats nuts is that people can't allow the term "Father in Heaven" to actually mean what it sounds like.

Post by **_Sethbag** » Tue Apr 15, 2008 10:28 pm

Moniker wrote:It is soooooo frightening, in fact, that I may have to start wearing a chastity belt every night!

Um, not to frighten you any more than you already are, but this is GOD we're talking about. He has a Master Key.

Post by **_Sethbag** » Tue Apr 15, 2008 10:29 pm

Gazelam wrote:
Moniker wrote:It is too frickin nuts that people think God is a mammal with a woody up in lala land that came down and boinked Mary.

It is actually scary!

Whats nuts is that people can't allow the term "Father in Heaven" to actually mean what it sounds like.

It's even more nuts when internet Mormon apologists can't admit that "father in heaven" is a verb as well as a noun, with all that that entails. But apparently you and Will admit this. Bravo. Now go back and explain to us all how you believe God is a glorified mammal, and why that actually makes sense to you.

Post by **_Moniker** » Tue Apr 15, 2008 10:30 pm

Gazelam wrote:
Moniker wrote:It is too frickin nuts that people think God is a mammal with a woody up in lala land that came down and boinked Mary.

It is actually scary!

Whats nuts is that people can't allow the term "Father in Heaven" to actually mean what it sounds like.

Gaz, think about it for a moment. You want me to believe that there is some perfected mammal male God that is off in "heaven" that swooped down to earth and had sex with Mary?

Good reading: http://www.bibleorigins.net/YahwehForni ... chGod.html

Pick a myth for me to believe, would you?