Mormon God's Penis

[_beastie]

Your telling me you don't find the evangelical doctrines anemic?

I find them nonsensical. But you were making assertions about Methodists (the sect I grew up in, by the way) which were completely incorrect. And do you actually believe Adam and Eve existed 6,000 years ago?????

[_Sethbag]

You're not following me. If there was an Adam, (and there was) then nothing predates Christ.

What?

Moniker, you must remember that to faithful Mormons like Gaz, Adam and Eve were real, and since they were Mormons, the Mormon church (ie: the True Faith of Christ that is currently embodied by the Mormon Church) literally predates every other culture's belief system, and any resemblance of Mormon belief to ancient mythology is actually to be explained as ancient mythology having bastardized the original Truth, which Mormonism has now restored.

[_CaliforniaKid]

Gaz,

Methodists are NOT evangelicals anymore. They are more accurately characterized as "liberal Protestants". For the record.

William,

Come on, Chris! You don't even really think there is a God, let alone one with a bona fide body replete with all the tools.

I allow that there may be a God, and in fact pray and attend services not infrequently. However, the strongest reasons to believe in God, in my opinion, derive from natural theology, conscience, mystical experience, and the need for a first cause. The Mormon concept of God renders many if not all of these obsolete. I suspect that if there is in fact a God, he is more like the somewhat ambivalent, incorporeal God of Plato/Calvin/Xenophanes than the personal God of Joseph Smith. In fact, I consider belief in a corporeal God so arbitrary that it's hardly worth being agnostic about it.

But, just for the sake of argument, since we know Jesus of Nazareth did in fact have a physical body, and that that body emerged into the world via the womb of Mary, whose sperm swam up the fallopian tube nine months earlier and fertilized the ovum inside her? Or are you suggesting that we should understand something different about the phrases "only begotten" and "Son of God?"

If I were to revive my belief in miraculous conception, I would probably guess that the fetus was formed instantaneously by a flick of God's magic wand, rather than requiring any sperm/egg interaction. The idea that God used his celestial prerogative to convince a young, betrothed virgin to have sex with him before ever having been with her husband is sufficiently atrocious that I think I'd have kicked him in his celestial balls.

-Chris

[_Moniker]

Moni,

Great links! Notice in the timeline the earliest civilization mentioned is Eridu. A look at the wiki entry states that the people worshipped one God, who shared his authority with mankind. They also state that water was an important feature in their worship, which woudl be no surprise since they had just come through a flood!

Also they were divided into three family groups. No surprise since Noah had three sons, and no doubt assigned them different tasks.

Also it was one of Noahs sons who settled Egypt, and when they wanted religion they aquired it from the writings of Noah. This was later enhanced with the teachings of Abraham, who instructed the Pharohs court after he survived their attempt to sacrifice him.

Your timelines only enhance what I have already stated. A difference of 1,000 years or so is really no big deal.


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eridu

Is it a big deal that Eridu was part of the Sumerian culture and it was the earliest settlement, yet, there were others in the North about that same time period? Is it a big deal that the Eridu and the Sumerian culture was polytheistic?



Gaz, is it possible this culture did experience a flood, incorporated this into their outlook of the world, stories were passed on and this became the Noah story? by the way, how many years was Noah in his ark after Adam met with the angels? We're 1000 years off as it is...... how many more years do we need to add where it might be a big deal?

Check this out:

Mesopotamian mythology is the collective name given to Sumerian, Akkadian, Assyrian, and Babylonian mythologies from the land between the Tigris and Euphrates rivers in Iraq.

The Sumerians practiced a polytheistic religion, with anthropomorphic gods or goddesses representing forces or presences in the world, in much the same way as later Greek mythology. According to said mythology, the gods originally created humans as servants for themselves but freed them when they became too much to handle.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sumerian_m ... n_religion

[_Sethbag]

Soon after the Fall.

Actual date? roughly 6,000 years ago.

So you don't believe that human beings had lived on the Australian continent since about 40,000 years ago, and that human beings had migrated to the American continent roughly 12,000-15,000 years ago? Or, if you do believe those things, you don't believe that they had any religious or spiritual beliefs? This follows, of course, from the "fact", as you believe it, that Adam had the first, original, and true religion about 6,000 years ago, and as you claim, all other religions and religious cultures descend from apostate versions of that original, true, Adamic religion.

You realize what you're claiming is completely undermined by historical and archeological facts, don't you?

[_Sethbag]

Just how does it feel to dumb yourself down enough to sit in on those classes?

Thanks for my new sig line.

You tell us, Gaz. Just how does it feel?

[_CaliforniaKid]

So you don't believe that human beings had lived on the Australian continent since about 40,000 years ago

Those are just soulless pre-Adamites, silly. Animals, really. Noah probably even took a couple on the ark.

[_Moniker]

Something about the Methodist Church my parents attend: No one believes in the literal translation of the Bible, they're mostly well educated, and professionals. They are there for Christ and the New Testament -- the Old Testament isn't even touched upon. Ever. Ever. Ever... not with a looooooong stick. :)

Matter of fact one of them is actually an anthropology professor at a local university. Whodathunkit?

[_Sethbag]

If I were to revive my belief in miraculous conception, I would probably guess that the fetus was formed instantaneously by a flick of God's magic wand, rather than requiring any sperm/egg interaction. The idea that God used his celestial prerogative to convince a young, betrothed virgin to have sex with him before ever having been with her husband is sufficiently atrocious that I think I'd have kicked him in his celestial balls.

-Chris

A sort of Mormon Droit de seigneur. It's the logical conclusion to be drawn from the belief in the literal fathership of Jesus by a corporeal mammal God, however in my view this is just another smoking gun of the fact that Mormonism is a manmade religion, and we've created God in our own image.

[_Moniker]

You're not following me. If there was an Adam, (and there was) then nothing predates Christ.

What?

Moniker, you must remember that to faithful Mormons like Gaz, Adam and Eve were real, and since they were Mormons, the Mormon church (ie: the True Faith of Christ that is currently embodied by the Mormon Church) literally predates every other culture's belief system, and any resemblance of Mormon belief to ancient mythology is actually to be explained as ancient mythology having bastardized the original Truth, which Mormonism has now restored.

I had a *HUH* moment some months ago at MAD when I was informed that Christ predated Buddhism........ uh........ uh......... I just stopped posting for a weee bit. :)