Which sect to join?
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_msnobody
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Which sect to join?
If Joseph Smith were to miraculously come back to life today and resume his life on earth, which sect of Mormonism would he join?
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_Trevor
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Re: Which sect to join?
msnobody wrote:If Joseph Smith were to miraculously come back to life today and resume his life on earth, which sect of Mormonism would he join?
The one that offered him the most power and women.
“I was hooked from the start,” Snoop Dogg said. “We talked about the purpose of life, played Mousetrap, and ate brownies. The kids thought it was off the hook, for real.”
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_CaliforniaKid
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Trick question.
"I was answered that I must join none of them, for they were all wrong; and the Personage who addressed me said that all their creeds were an abomination in his sight; that those professors were all corrupt; that: 'they draw near to me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me, they teach for doctrines the commandments of men, having a form of godliness, but they deny the power thereof.'"
"I was answered that I must join none of them, for they were all wrong; and the Personage who addressed me said that all their creeds were an abomination in his sight; that those professors were all corrupt; that: 'they draw near to me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me, they teach for doctrines the commandments of men, having a form of godliness, but they deny the power thereof.'"
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_Trevor
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CaliforniaKid wrote:"I was answered that I must join none of them, for they were all wrong; and the Personage who addressed me said that all their creeds were an abomination in his sight; that those professors were all corrupt; that: 'they draw near to me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me, they teach for doctrines the commandments of men, having a form of godliness, but they deny the power thereof.'"
Wrong, that is the answer he gives when they toss him out on his butt.
“I was hooked from the start,” Snoop Dogg said. “We talked about the purpose of life, played Mousetrap, and ate brownies. The kids thought it was off the hook, for real.”
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_SatanWasSetUp
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I think Joseph Smith was more interested in sex than sects. In fact, maybe Joseph Smith's purpose for going into the woods was because he was a 14 year-old boy going through puberty and wanted to pray to ask god some questions about sex, and god misunderstood and thought he said sects.
"We of this Church do not rely on any man-made statement concerning the nature of Deity. Our knowledge comes directly from the personal experience of Joseph Smith." - Gordon B. Hinckley
"It's wrong to criticize leaders of the Mormon Church even if the criticism is true." - Dallin H. Oaks
"It's wrong to criticize leaders of the Mormon Church even if the criticism is true." - Dallin H. Oaks
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_CaliforniaKid
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Joseph Smith: I'm a little confused about sex.
God: Don't join any of them.
Joseph Smith: Huh? What's that supposed to mean?
God: All sects are wrong.
Joseph Smith: Sex is wrong?!? Dammit! So... what do I do, then?
God: Start your own Church.
Joseph Smith: Yeah! Great idea... then I can make my own rules!
God: Don't join any of them.
Joseph Smith: Huh? What's that supposed to mean?
God: All sects are wrong.
Joseph Smith: Sex is wrong?!? Dammit! So... what do I do, then?
God: Start your own Church.
Joseph Smith: Yeah! Great idea... then I can make my own rules!
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_the road to hana
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Re: Which sect to join?
msnobody wrote:If Joseph Smith were to miraculously come back to life today and resume his life on earth, which sect of Mormonism would he join?
Methodism.
No, seriously, he'd start back up again, claiming he'd been told none of them are right. He wouldn't be "joining" anything. And of course if members knew it was Joseph Smith, they'd follow him in a heartbeat, wherever he led.
The road is beautiful, treacherous, and full of twists and turns.
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_Mercury
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Re: Which sect to join?
msnobody wrote:If Joseph Smith were to miraculously come back to life today and resume his life on earth, which sect of Mormonism would he join?
God, what is ths, RFM? Gee i wonder what the mutha****in answer is. The answer of course is Jesus.
And crawling on the planet's face
Some insects called the human race
Lost in time
And lost in space...and meaning
Some insects called the human race
Lost in time
And lost in space...and meaning
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_Coca Cola
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Re: Which sect to join?
msnobody wrote:If Joseph Smith were to miraculously come back to life today and resume his life on earth, which sect of Mormonism would he join?
I think FLDS, but they would quit the old-fashioned clothes and hairstyles, and let the women wear makeup. Joseph liked pretty ladies.