I can't quite put my finger on what feels different on LDS boards when it comes to talk about sexuality and male/female interactions.. but something is different.
It's condescending.
I think that's it? Part of it. I'm not certain what it is precisely....
For instance Nehor mentioned my blog. I was told by LOTS of men that I should expect poor behavior from them (and others) 'cause I was essentially trolling for men on the internet. I was stunned everytime someone suggested this. I limited my blog to a few people and still those comments kept coming my way. My blog was less explicit than what is said in telestial -- and it was tinged with attempting desperately to understand whether or not I was a victim... yet some men just read it as -- she wants me to nail her and she's easy. Or I have "issues" -- well, my "issues" were that I was in an abusive marriage and was trying to sort out my relationships with men in my past and see a pattern. That my therapist (at the time) looked at it and recognized it for what it was means something. That beastie could look at it and recognize it for what it was speaks volumes. Some men saw it and said, "look she's a whore and wants to be treated poorly". I didn't get it.
I participated on an exJdub board on occasion and found it to be worse than what I've experienced on LDS/exLDS boards. That was with longtime participants of that board and nothing too bad was ever said to me. Of course in the chat room on a now defunct LDS/ExLDS participant board, things could get rather distasteful, but sometimes I chalked that up to the guys trying to get the evangelical to sign off or for shock value perhaps. Being a woman though, some would be surprised at what some men will say to you in private going totally against the way they appear in public or around others.
I can't quite put my finger on what feels different on LDS boards when it comes to talk about sexuality and male/female interactions.. but something is different.
It's condescending.
I think that's it? Part of it. I'm not certain what it is precisely....
For instance Nehor mentioned my blog. I was told by LOTS of men that I should expect poor behavior from them (and others) 'cause I was essentially trolling for men on the internet. I was stunned everytime someone suggested this. I limited my blog to a few people and still those comments kept coming my way. My blog was less explicit than what is said in telestial -- and it was tinged with attempting desperately to understand whether or not I was a victim... yet some men just read it as -- she wants me to nail her and she's easy. Or I have "issues" -- well, my "issues" were that I was in an abusive marriage and was trying to sort out my relationships with men in my past and see a pattern. That my therapist (at the time) looked at it and recognized it for what it was means something. That beastie could look at it and recognize it for what it was speaks volumes. Some men saw it and said, "look she's a whore and wants to be treated poorly". I didn't get it.
I should be clear that I don't think your blog justified what some guys did, but it probably did attract the creeps. I'm sorry for misrepresenting your blog, I'm going off the description I was given by someone else. I only looked at it once and only read 2 or 3 entries so I probably am ill-suited to know what it is about.
"Surely he knows that DCP, The Nehor, Lamanite, and other key apologists..." -Scratch clarifying my status in apologetics "I admit it; I'm a petty, petty man." -Some Schmo
The Nehor wrote: I should be clear that I don't think your blog justified what some guys did, but it probably did attract the creeps. I'm sorry for misrepresenting your blog, I'm going off the description I was given by someone else. I only looked at it once and only read 2 or 3 entries so I probably am ill-suited to know what it is about.
Nehor, you have always been very, very, very respectful to me. I appreciate it, so much. :)
Sorry to all the men out there whom I have taken upon myself to stereotype men.
Yeah, that's what you've done, all right.
Sorry, scottie, in my experience, unless they're really, really good at hiding it, this isn't just normal male behavior. Maybe normal teenage male behavior. So maybe the question is: are Mormons more prone to stay "stuck" in an earlier developmental phase, in regards to male/female interactions?
We hate to seem like we don’t trust every nut with a story, but there’s evidence we can point to, and dance while shouting taunting phrases.
If I admit to my horndoggery...does it mitigate the fact that I'm a horndog?
"Whatever appears to be against the Book of Mormon is going to be overturned at some time in the future. So we can be pretty open minded."-charity 3/7/07
I do think it's interesting that three women who did NOT grow up LDS sense something is "off".
Have you noticed this, Jersey Girl? Do you participate on other, nonLDS boards? Do you agree that the LDS theme boards have this particular sort of condescension going on?
Yes, I've noticed it only on primarily LDS boards and only from LDS or ex-LDS men.
Failure is not falling down but refusing to get up.
Chinese Proverb
For instance Nehor mentioned my blog. I was told by LOTS of men that I should expect poor behavior from them (and others) 'cause I was essentially trolling for men on the internet. I was stunned everytime someone suggested this. I limited my blog to a few people and still those comments kept coming my way. My blog was less explicit than what is said in telestial -- and it was tinged with attempting desperately to understand whether or not I was a victim... yet some men just read it as -- she wants me to nail her and she's easy. Or I have "issues" -- well, my "issues" were that I was in an abusive marriage and was trying to sort out my relationships with men in my past and see a pattern. That my therapist (at the time) looked at it and recognized it for what it was means something. That beastie could look at it and recognize it for what it was speaks volumes. Some men saw it and said, "look she's a whore and wants to be treated poorly". I didn't get it.
Your blog was painfully obvious for what it was, and it stuns me that people could have read it and interpreted it as a plea for a sexual invitation. But, again, someone stuck in a teenage phase of dealing with sexuality could have easily done just that...
Besides, to be brutally frank, if a woman wants sex and is even of average looks, she certainly doesn't have to get on the internet to find it.
We hate to seem like we don’t trust every nut with a story, but there’s evidence we can point to, and dance while shouting taunting phrases.
Sorry to all the men out there whom I have taken upon myself to stereotype men.
Yeah, that's what you've done, all right.
Sorry, scottie, in my experience, unless they're really, really good at hiding it, this isn't just normal male behavior. Maybe normal teenage male behavior. So maybe the question is: are Mormons more prone to stay "stuck" in an earlier developmental phase, in regards to male/female interactions?
I will admit that my sample set is mainly comprised of Mormon men, so perhaps I don't have room to talk.
But, I will say that the few non-Mormon friends I have are just as crude and juvenile as any of my Mormon friends.
There are a few real men out there who are...well, like women want them to be. You know, the sensitive guy who cries at movies and shows all the care and compassion of a woman....basically a woman in a mans body.
There are many who act this way around women, but get them around a few good buddies and all bets are off. It won't take long to degrade to jr high level talk.
There are some who have no desire to hide this from women.
I think I'd better bow out of this discussion now. This is a hot button topic for me.
If there's one thing I've learned from this board, it's that consensual sex with multiple partners is okay unless God commands it. - Abman
I find this place to be hostile toward all brands of stupidity. That's why I like it. - Some Schmo
I do think it's interesting that three women who did NOT grow up LDS sense something is "off".
Have you noticed this, Jersey Girl? Do you participate on other, nonLDS boards? Do you agree that the LDS theme boards have this particular sort of condescension going on?
Yes, I've noticed it only on primarily LDS boards and only from LDS or ex-LDS men.
But not Bond, eh??
If there's one thing I've learned from this board, it's that consensual sex with multiple partners is okay unless God commands it. - Abman
I find this place to be hostile toward all brands of stupidity. That's why I like it. - Some Schmo