(some!!!!) Mormon & exmormon men and the internet

[_Scottie]

Don't forget Scottie, Bond, Runtu, and Moksha on that list! :)

I'm pretty sure she meant to leave me off her list. She pretty much told me I was in the category of "male pig", although in not so many words, in her previous post.

[_Scottie]

Beastie, you bring up something interesting that I noticed! The silence! That is what bothers me, I think.

When Coggins did a thread about you that was odd and quite nasty Gadianton came to your defense and I quite seriously started to cry -- it was such an overwhelming sight, to me.

The silence is LOUD here. It bothers me.

Yet, it seems lately more people are standing up and telling people to knock it off. Perhaps, we just need more of that?

I think the problem here is that the name calling is SOOO rampant that I would be CONSTANTLY chastising people for it.

Again, no secret that I think we need to have a baseline set of rules. One of them being NO PERSONAL ATTACKS!

[_Moniker]

Don't forget Scottie, Bond, Runtu, and Moksha on that list! :)

I'm pretty sure she meant to leave me off her list. She pretty much told me I was in the category of "male pig", although in not so many words, in her previous post.

No, I didn't mean to imply you were a pig and I don't think that. I think you didn't know any better and didn't know that I would be hurt by you saying I'm essentially promiscuous. It hurt my feelings, especially coming from you. I think men think it's okay to say that stuff to me.

Is it?

[_Scottie]

Don't forget Scottie, Bond, Runtu, and Moksha on that list! :)

I'm pretty sure she meant to leave me off her list. She pretty much told me I was in the category of "male pig", although in not so many words, in her previous post.

No, I didn't mean to imply you were a pig and I don't think that. I think you didn't know any better and didn't know that I would be hurt by you saying I'm essentially promiscuous. It hurt my feelings, especially coming from you. I think men think it's okay to say that stuff, to me.

Is it?

That was a COMPLETELY throw away, meant nothing by it, trying for a cheap laugh joke!!

It in ABSOLUTELY NO WAY reflected ANY of my views towards you AT ALL!!!

I am so so so so sorry that it came across that way.

I would have said the same exact thing to ANY poster that posted that particular line. Man or woman.

[_asbestosman]

Silence may be a problem, but sometimes I just don't know what to say. The worst harassment I ever saw on this board was by some wolf troll or whoever who made some very sexually explicit comments to Liz. I was disguisted beyond belief, but I couldn't imagine how anything I would say would be useful.

[_Moniker]

Don't forget Scottie, Bond, Runtu, and Moksha on that list! :)

I'm pretty sure she meant to leave me off her list. She pretty much told me I was in the category of "male pig", although in not so many words, in her previous post.

No, I didn't mean to imply you were a pig and I don't think that. I think you didn't know any better and didn't know that I would be hurt by you saying I'm essentially promiscuous. It hurt my feelings, especially coming from you. I think men think it's okay to say that stuff, to me.

Is it?

That was a COMPLETELY throw away, meant nothing by it, trying for a cheap laugh joke!!

It in ABSOLUTELY NO WAY reflected ANY of my views towards you AT ALL!!!

I am so so so so sorry that it came across that way.

I would have said the same exact thing to ANY poster that posted that particular line. Man or woman.

Men mentioning me being promiscuous doesn't make me laugh, Scottie. It makes me tear up and walk away from the computer. You didn't know -- the other men didn't know. But, I'm telling you now -- it hurts me. I think many, many, many men think it's okay and things like that aren't hurtful to me, well they are.

I quite frankly can't think of many women that wouldn't be mortified to deal with some of the stuff said to me on this board. I'm a woman! I was a lil girl! I'm a mom! I was a wife! I'm a daughter! I get tired of being treated as if I'm not.

I think when guys I like (the good guys -- like you) make jokes at my expense other guys think it's a green light to treat me like crap.

[_Moniker]

Silence may be a problem, but sometimes I just don't know what to say. The worst harassment I ever saw on this board was by some wolf troll or whoever who made some very sexually explicit comments to Liz. I was disguisted beyond belief, but I couldn't imagine how anything I would say would be useful.

I saw that too and then it was deleted or something? I was getting stuff like that in PMs. I actually just started deleting PMs without opening them. I wondered if they were sockpuppets of people that regularly posted. I hoped not.

[_Scottie]

Don't forget Scottie, Bond, Runtu, and Moksha on that list! :)

I'm pretty sure she meant to leave me off her list. She pretty much told me I was in the category of "male pig", although in not so many words, in her previous post.

No, I didn't mean to imply you were a pig and I don't think that. I think you didn't know any better and didn't know that I would be hurt by you saying I'm essentially promiscuous. It hurt my feelings, especially coming from you. I think men think it's okay to say that stuff, to me.

Is it?

That was a COMPLETELY throw away, meant nothing by it, trying for a cheap laugh joke!!

It in ABSOLUTELY NO WAY reflected ANY of my views towards you AT ALL!!!

I am so so so so sorry that it came across that way.

I would have said the same exact thing to ANY poster that posted that particular line. Man or woman.

Men mentioning me being promiscuous doesn't make me laugh, Scottie. It makes me tear up and walk away from the computer. You didn't know -- the other men didn't know. But, I'm telling you now -- it hurts me. I think many, many, many men think it's okay and things like that aren't hurtful to me, well they are.

I quite frankly can't think of many women that wouldn't be mortified to deal with some of the stuff said to me on this board. I'm a woman! I was a lil girl! I'm a mom! I was a wife! I'm a daughter! I get tired of being treated as if I'm not.

I think when guys I like (the good guys -- like you) make jokes at my expense other guys think it's a green light to treat me like crap.

Beastie, I agree. Lets attack Shades.

Shades...I BLAME YOU!!!! I would have used a smilie at the end of my throw away joke IF WE HAD THEM!!!

Are you happy now???? You've made Moniker cry!!!

Oh, big man, aren't you?? Do you feel tough or something?? Does it make you feel like a REAL man that you make women cry???

* in my best tough guy voice * Oh look at ME!! I'm the all powerful Shades!! I'll take away Smilies so that people make jokes that hurt others and makes them cry!! gruff gruff ruff!!

GIVE US BACK OUR G*D D**NED F***ING SMILIES ALREADY!!!!!!!

whew...

This rant brought to you by the good folks at PISSED. People Infuriated at no Smiles and Shades Extreme Dickheadedness

[_beastie]

I think the boundaries issue mentioned earlier by others also needs more exploration. I think that LDS often have issues with boundaries, partly due to the intrusive nature of the religion (other people having the "right" to intrude in very personal life issues, like masturbation with youth). Leaving the LDS church still leaves some confusion over that, and to top it off, some of us were in relationships/marriages that eroded personal boundaries even more. Add to that the fact that women, overall, are supposed to "make nice", and you have a potential mess. In my own case, some of the offensive behavior I suffered was partly due to the fact that I didn't know how to set and respect my OWN boundaries, much less be willing to stand up and insist that others respect them as well.

[Guest]

I think the boundaries issue mentioned earlier by others also needs more exploration. I think that LDS often have issues with boundaries, partly due to the intrusive nature of the religion (other people having the "right" to intrude in very personal life issues, like masturbation with youth). Leaving the LDS church still leaves some confusion over that, and to top it off, some of us were in relationships/marriages that eroded personal boundaries even more. Add to that the fact that women, overall, are supposed to "make nice", and you have a potential mess. In my own case, some of the offensive behavior I suffered was partly due to the fact that I didn't know how to set and respect my OWN boundaries, much less be willing to stand up and insist that others respect them as well.

I ACCEPT that a lot of it was my fault. I reply with wit 'cause I don't know how else to reply. That didn't discourage the behavior. I do try to play nice and then feel guilty for telling someone that they hurt me 'cause I don't want to make them feel bad. Especially if I know they didn't intend to.

Scottie, I accept you were joking. Yet, let me ask you this: If your daughter asked you if all the ex-Mos were promiscuous and addicted to drugs would you reply "You mean, you're not?"

I think a good rule of thumb is if you wouldn't say it to your wife, your daughter, or your mother it's best to think twice.

If a man's mother is talking about pleading for God would her son ask her what she was wearing?

I've had men say things and I reply with wit and fling it right back at them -- I should NOT have. I accept that I did that. I DID! I didn't know how to handle it.