(some!!!!) Mormon & exmormon men and the internet

[_Jason Bourne]

I discussed this with my boyfriend, as well - and, by the way, let me brag about him for a moment. Back on that original email group when there was, on occasion, inappropriate and demeaning banter at times, my boyfriend was definitely one of the good guys. In fact, the moment when I first starting falling for this guy was when some arsehole showed up and started talking about having sex with desperate 'special interest' girls (for moniker, those are women who are older than 27 and not married, which in the LDS world, makes them desperate, and everyone suspects overweight and/or ugly). My boyfriend (not boyfriend at the time) just let that guy have it with both barrels. He told him he was a disgusting human being who was taking advantage of and hurting women who probably hoped to have a real relationship with him, and he was laughing behind their backs. I will never forget how he (my boyfriend) signed off, saying "I do not like you, sir.

"

Terminology update for you. YSA's or young single adults run to 30 now. After 30 is SA or single adult. No more special interest. And that included women and men. The Church has come a long way on the singles issue as there are many more single members. More divorced and more never marrieds. It seem that also there are more active single women then active single men least where I live.

[_Moniker]

Beastie, your boyfriend is amazing! Truly! I'm so glad you two have each other. :)

[_moksha]

The Church has come a long way on the singles issue as there are many more single members. More divorced and more never marrieds. It seem that also there are more active single women then active single men least where I live.

Far enough not to kick older singles out of the singles ward?






So, has this thread helped us reestablish our ties with our Puritan roots?

.

[_Moniker]

The Church has come a long way on the singles issue as there are many more single members. More divorced and more never marrieds. It seem that also there are more active single women then active single men least where I live.

Far enough not to kick older singles out of the singles ward?






So, has this thread helped us reestablish our ties with our Puritan roots?

.

I have no Puritan roots.

Interestingly enough the Puritans get a bad rap for being sexual prudes -- they really weren't.

[_beastie]

I don't know. I was taught all kinds of horrible stereotypes that I believe I have overcome.

I don't hate gays. In fact, I am a strong supporter of gay rights even though I was raised in a severely homophobic church and household.
I don't hate those of other ethnic backgrounds. (Same as above)
I don't think America is #1, let alone in the top 25 best countries in the world.
I don't think women belong barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen.

Although, I will admit that I'm in the minority here. Most people refuse to look at ideals that they were raised with.

Yes, people certainly can reevaluate and reject what they were taught all their lives.

However, think about this: pretend we have two groups of 100 individuals each, group A and group B. Group A was taught that men, even as youths, could access rights and privileges from God women never could, their entire lives, and were also taught that God would allow, or encourage, or even reward, them with multiple wives in the next life. Group B was not taught these ideas.

Would Group A be more inclined to have more members of the group that still retain negative attitudes towards women than Group B, all other things being equal (as much as possible with human beings, but meaning controlling factors such as abusive backgrounds, larger culture, etc)? This allows that many - even most - members of group A may have rejected those beliefs and attitudes affected by those beliefs, but still allows that group A might end up with more members with negative attitudes towards women than in group B, overall.

[_beastie]

Terminology update for you. YSA's or young single adults run to 30 now. After 30 is SA or single adult. No more special interest. And that included women and men. The Church has come a long way on the singles issue as there are many more single members. More divorced and more never marrieds. It seem that also there are more active single women then active single men least where I live.

Interesting. I remember, even when I was a member, that the church realized this was a problem and tried to address it, but I don't think it worked. The church is so family/children oriented, that I think it will always be difficult for an older single adult to really fit in.

Beastie, your boyfriend is amazing! Truly! I'm so glad you two have each other. :)

He is amazing. We are two very lucky people.

[_Moniker]

I just want to mention something - and I don't know how LDS approach this or not. Yet, when men have ever courted me they were GENTLEMAN. They read poetry to me, they walked around the parks with me, swung on swings (STEUSS!!:), stared at me and listened to me blather... NEVER was I approached with a man making a sexualized comment to me that I would become interested in. That's not what does it for me, I recoil, actually. The men that hooted and hollered at me (in whatever way) were the ones I ran from.

Surely that can't be different with LDS women?

[_beastie]

I just want to mention something - and I don't know how LDS approach this or not. Yet, when men have ever courted me they were GENTLEMAN. They read poetry to me, they walked around the parks with me, swung on swings (STEUSS!!:), stared at me and listened to me blather... NEVER was I approached with a man making a sexualized comment to me that I would become interested in. That's not what does it for me, I recoil, actually. The men that hooted and hollered at me (in whatever way) were the ones I ran from.

Surely that can't be different with LDS women?

I never had an LDS young man make a sexualized comment to me in real life. Well, my exhusband did after we were engaged, but he wasn't normal in anyway, including representing typical Mormonism. But other than that, the LDS guys I dated were gentleman and did similar things as you cite.

That's why I think it has something to do with the internet. It allows some to indulge in behavior they would not allow themselves to do in real life.. but obviously the inclination was there.

[_Mercury]

Yes, I've noticed it only on primarily LDS boards and only from LDS or ex-LDS men.

Ok. Look, I think this means something. Moniker, Jersey Girl, and myself did NOT grow up LDS. We've all participated on other boards. All three of us have noticed something unique to LDS and exLDS male/female interactions.

I'm not sure just what it means yet, but it does make me feel like I haven't imagined this... and, scottie, I'm not trying to get men to stop being men. This has to do with Mormonism, men, and sexuality.

Hey babe...Excuse me, I'm a little short on cash, would you mind if we shared a cab home together?

(insert other lame ass pick up line)

sorry, just playing my role

[_Scottie]

I don't know. I was taught all kinds of horrible stereotypes that I believe I have overcome.

I don't hate gays. In fact, I am a strong supporter of gay rights even though I was raised in a severely homophobic church and household.
I don't hate those of other ethnic backgrounds. (Same as above)
I don't think America is #1, let alone in the top 25 best countries in the world.
I don't think women belong barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen.

Although, I will admit that I'm in the minority here. Most people refuse to look at ideals that they were raised with.

Yes, people certainly can reevaluate and reject what they were taught all their lives.

However, think about this: pretend we have two groups of 100 individuals each, group A and group B. Group A was taught that men, even as youths, could access rights and privileges from God women never could, their entire lives, and were also taught that God would allow, or encourage, or even reward, them with multiple wives in the next life. Group B was not taught these ideas.

Would Group A be more inclined to have more members of the group that still retain negative attitudes towards women than Group B, all other things being equal (as much as possible with human beings, but meaning controlling factors such as abusive backgrounds, larger culture, etc)? This allows that many - even most - members of group A may have rejected those beliefs and attitudes affected by those beliefs, but still allows that group A might end up with more members with negative attitudes towards women than in group B, overall.

Absolutely.