Mormon Church, wrong again re masturbation

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_Sethbag
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Post by _Sethbag »

Roger Morrison wrote:Brings to mind a limerick of my adolesent junior-high days, "When I was young, and in my prime, I used to do IT all the time. Now, that I am old and gray, I only do IT twice a day."

I think this one's probably talked out, so I won't feel bad deviating from the original topic by mentioning an episode of "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire" I saw with Jack Black on the hot seat for some charity. He was asked the question which lines of a limerick must rhyme. He started thinking about it, and he muttered, audibly, "... Nantuckett...", obviously working it out in his head. The audience cracked up laughing at that one word.

But hey, now I know two limericks. Thanks!
Mormonism ceased being a compelling topic for me when I finally came to terms with its transformation from a personality cult into a combination of a real estate company, a SuperPac, and Westboro Baptist Church. - Kishkumen
_Some Schmo
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Post by _Some Schmo »

Sethbag wrote:
Roger Morrison wrote:Brings to mind a limerick of my adolesent junior-high days, "When I was young, and in my prime, I used to do IT all the time. Now, that I am old and gray, I only do IT twice a day."

I think this one's probably talked out, so I won't feel bad deviating from the original topic by mentioning an episode of "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire" I saw with Jack Black on the hot seat for some charity. He was asked the question which lines of a limerick must rhyme. He started thinking about it, and he muttered, audibly, "... Nantuckett...", obviously working it out in his head. The audience cracked up laughing at that one word.

But hey, now I know two limericks. Thanks!


I wrote a limerick on this topic to coggins in his "moved to off-topic" thread. Read that, and you'll know three.

;)

Actually, I hate to say it (as much as I admire and respect Roger), what he quoted about does not have the proper structure of a limerick. Still, it's a funny little verse.
God belief is for people who don't want to live life on the universe's terms.
_AmazingDisgrace
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Post by _AmazingDisgrace »

beastie wrote:But think about it - if young people are preoccupied by worrying over the fact that they can't control themselves, that they're sinful and weak because they masturbate, then they really don't have the mental energy to think skeptically about what they're being taught.

This was true in my case. It wasn't long after my first serious doubts appeared that I managed to convince myself that I had some unresolved sin that I needed to confess to a bishop, and that's what was making it impossible for me to believe in God, despite my desperate efforts. Of course, I really didn't want to confess to the bishop and I wasn't entirely sure it was even a sin that required confession. This helped hold my doubts at bay with varying amounts of success for a couple of years, because everytime I'd think "I'm doing everything I possibly can, but I just don't believe it", I was able to tell myself, "You're not really doing everything you can. You should probably go to the bishop and tell him everything you've ever done that has a remote chance of being a confession-worthy sin."

Eventually, I brought it up in a TR interview and he told me it was something that required confession. With that out of the way, I came up with the excuse that my earlier unwillingness to see the bishop was my belief-inhibiting sin, because I had lacked the humility to do what I felt needed to be done, even if I was mistaken about what needed to be done. That excuse held me for another month or two of redoubled effort before I concluded that years of praying to a god whose existence I thought was logically impossible was not going to be enough to resolve the contradictions. First I would have find the resolutions, and then I could get my testimony back.

Once I decided to engage my concerns instead of ignoring them, it wasn't long before I found that those resolutions don't exist. (At least not any that don't require denying the scripturally-defined attributes of God, which doesn't help much if you just can't buy the idea that Blake Ostler has discovered truths about God that His supposed prophets have been wrong about all this time).
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_Brackite
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Post by _Brackite »

bcspace wrote:Proverbs 5:18-19 will cure you of all these ills. And I hear it will save you a bundle on palm hair remover......


Hello Bcspace,

You do believe in the science of Evolution, but you do not seem to believe in the science of the practice of masturbation is physically beneficial. How come? Why not conclude that some of the LDS Church Leaders were wrong about masturbation being a sin, just like some of the LDS Church Leaders were wrong about the Process of evolution not being true? I do believe that they were wrong about the practice of masturbation, and I do not believe that it is a sin. I do believe in the science that masturbation is physically beneficial.
"And I've said it before, you want to know what Joseph Smith looked like in Nauvoo, just look at Trump." - Fence Sitter
_asbestosman
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Post by _asbestosman »

Brackite wrote:I do believe in the science that masturbation is physically beneficial.

Do other non-primates do it? I thought primates were fairly unique in that.

Some turtles live quite a long time, and I doubt they bother with it. Elephants seem to do pretty good too.
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_Brackite
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Post by _Brackite »

Coggins7 wrote:
beastie wrote:
Of course, lacking any empirical evidence, Beastie can make any claim she wishes based upon nothing more than here animus towards the Church and its social teachings.


Oh, for heaven's sake, get that unattractive chip off your shoulder. Go read the study I already linked.



1. Your link says nothing about how many LDS men or woman find sex fulfilling, unfulfilling, or find it anything else.

2. One study demonstrates little, if anything. A body of empirically falsifiable and independently verified evidence would be much more compelling.

.


What about the few LDS males who aren't able to get marry in this lifetime? Do you really believe that they should go their whole lifetime without ever Masturbating, and then they get prostrate cancer and probably die of it? I certainly do Not believe that.
"And I've said it before, you want to know what Joseph Smith looked like in Nauvoo, just look at Trump." - Fence Sitter
_Brackite
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Post by _Brackite »

asbestosman wrote:
Brackite wrote:I do believe in the science that masturbation is physically beneficial.

Do other non-primates do it? I thought primates were fairly unique in that.

Some turtles live quite a long time, and I doubt they bother with it. Elephants seem to do pretty good too.


Yes, Some other Non-Primates do indeed do it. Here You Go with the Link: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Animal_sex ... rbation.29
"And I've said it before, you want to know what Joseph Smith looked like in Nauvoo, just look at Trump." - Fence Sitter
_Trevor
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Post by _Trevor »

asbestosman wrote:Do other non-primates do it? I thought primates were fairly unique in that.


Are you that uneducated in the ways of the average dog?
“I was hooked from the start,” Snoop Dogg said. “We talked about the purpose of life, played Mousetrap, and ate brownies. The kids thought it was off the hook, for real.”
_beastie
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Post by _beastie »

Are you that uneducated in the ways of the average dog?


abman's dogs are Mormon
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_Trevor
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Post by _Trevor »

beastie wrote:abman's dogs are Mormon


And I think Mormon dogs have the coolest temple wear:

Image

Notice the provisions they make to keep the tongue away from the "private zone."
“I was hooked from the start,” Snoop Dogg said. “We talked about the purpose of life, played Mousetrap, and ate brownies. The kids thought it was off the hook, for real.”
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