Brother Crockett vs...?

[_truth dancer]

Hi Abman,

Yeah for those who think of their spouse as just another friend who one happens to have sex with then yeah, polygamy isn't a big deal.

The women I have heard state that they don't mind polygamy think of their husbands as just a nice guy who they happen to be married to and don't really care about any sort emotional connection or intimacy or love, (not to mention sex.. smile).

I just happen to believe that a marriage can be a LOT more than that.

I've often said polygamy works well for guys who just want to be sperm donors (or sexually use women), and women who don't like men.

~dancer~

[_asbestosman]

Yeah for those who think of their spouse as just another friend who one happens to have sex with then yeah, polygamy isn't a big deal.

The women I have heard state that they don't mind polygamy think of their husbands as just a nice guy who they happen to be married to and don't really care about any sort emotional connection or intimacy or love, (not to mention sex.. smile).

I just happen to believe that a marriage can be a LOT more than that.

But it is more than that for me. She's not "just another friend". She is the best of my best friends. I care deeply about emotional connections, intimacy, and love. I also care deeply about emotional connections with some of my other friends. What kind of a friend would I be if I didn't care much about them--at least no more than I do normal aquantances or neighbors? Of course I care about my wife more than I do other close friends.

[_truth dancer]

Hi Abman,

Still, I don't see why it must inherently be that way.

It doesn't inherently have to be this way. There are plenty of marriages that are completely unconnected, unfriendly, and uncivil.

I don't see the a-priori reason that jealousy is needed even though I cannot and will not remove it from myself.

My comments don't have anything to do with jealousy which is another factor all together.

I see the marriage relationship very, VERY different than other relationships.

Of course we love our children, family and friends... these relationship in my opinion are not even remotely the same as a committed, exclusive, intimate relationship/marriage.

The oneness, unity, wholeness, soul-mate sort of relationship that can exist in a healthy marriage/committed intimate relationship, in my opinion is not possible when a man has a harem.

It goes back to my Yin/Yang comment. In a harem there is NO balance. NONE.

In polygyny, a man is sharing his intimate self (I don't just mean sexually) with ten women hence each is receiving one tenth of his soul, while a man is receiving a small fraction of the soul of several women, not the totality of anyone. Neither the man nor the women experience the beauty, depth, and holiness that exists as two people share the totality of their souls exclusively with one another.


~dancer~