I've lost the ability to hang out

[_Jersey Girl]

Okay, here it is. I don't work completely year round which means that I have a stretch of time to do with what I choose. I am by no means a "Type A" but I would have to say that I'm a goal setter by nature. Long and short term goals. For example, I set daily goals for what I intend to accomplish each day. When I'm not working in summer, I typically do things like home projects and take classes. I tend to place a high value on productive vs unproductive.

This summer I decided to try something else. A little experiment of sorts.

It's not working!

I decided that I would set no daily goals and just "go with the flow" each day and a week into it, I realize I'm a miserable failure at "doing nothing" or more accurately, "doing nothing is making me miserable."

Apparently I need structure because I just can't do what I "feel" like doing moment to moment.

I'm pretty sure that I used to hang out and I'm pretty sure I've lost that part of me. I remember my kids observing that I can't even watch TV without doing something else at the same time. "You just can't do one thing, can you?"

Should I try to get it back? Is it nothing worth anything?

Do I sound insane? See! It's not working!

[_Jersey Girl]

Just to prove how sick this is, I'm actually going to make a list of things I've done to hang out, to see if there's a pattern to why my hanging out isn't working. (Maybe I should just admit that I can't do it, I over analyze and over think everything.)

Swimming (this was the one thing I enjoyed and felt good about)
Watching DVD's while doing nothing else (I fell asleep)
Watching DVD's while doing small tasks (see, I cheated)
Reading MDB (I was so bored and irritated by last night that I smarted off at Doc)
Reading magazines (Almost fell asleep)

Maybe I can just count my sleeping hours as hanging out, admit I'm a multi-tasking-list-making-goal-setter and get on with it.

[_Yoda]

LOL

I love you, Jersey Girl! You're not crazy. I'm the same way. I even take my iPod Touch with me when I'm laying out at the pool so I can listen to music and read email.

Multi-taskers, unite!

Just do what makes you happy. If multi-tasking does that, then go for it!

Maybe some retail therapy is in order? When was the last time you went to the mall just to buy something silly for you?

[_Jersey Girl]

LOL

I love you, Jersey Girl! You're not crazy. I'm the same way. I even take my iPod Touch with me when I'm laying out at the pool so I can listen to music and read email.

Multi-taskers, unite!

Just do what makes you happy. If multi-tasking does that, then go for it!

Maybe some retail therapy is in order? When was the last time you went to the mall just to buy something silly for you?

Well, I thought the magazines were something silly just for me. How sick is that?

Does doing your nails count as hanging out? Am I so far gone that I don't know?

[_Jersey Girl]

See, here is the internal conflict. I am an introvert who lives in my head so to speak. When I tried doing nothing but hanging out, I found that I ceased living in my head because there was nothing going on there. :-) I became bored out of my skull to the point of finding everything and everyone around me (including myself) so entirely annonying that when I was reading here yesterday, I found myself mentally making a list of every poster on this board that I despise and thinking of 20 good reasons to loathe and despise myself.

No way that can be healthy.

[_Mercury]

Peter Gibbons: What would you do if you had a million dollars?
Lawrence: I'll tell you what I'd do, man: two chicks at the same time, man.
Peter Gibbons: That's it? If you had a million dollars, you'd do two chicks at the same time?
Lawrence: Damn straight. I always wanted to do that, man. And I think if I were a millionaire I could hook that up, too; 'cause chicks dig dudes with money.
Peter Gibbons: Well, not all chicks.
Lawrence: Well, the type of chicks that'd double up on a dude like me do.
Peter Gibbons: Good point.
Lawrence: Well, what about you now? what would you do?
Peter Gibbons: Besides two chicks at the same time?
Lawrence: Well, yeah.
Peter Gibbons: Nothing.
Lawrence: Nothing, huh?
Peter Gibbons: I would relax... I would sit on my ass all day... I would do nothing.
Lawrence: Well, you don't need a million dollars to do nothing, man. Take a look at my cousin: he's broke, don't do crap.

well said peter, well said.

[_Jersey Girl]

I would relax... I would sit on my ass all day... I would do nothing.

That's what I thought too. I'd sit around and do virtually nothing productive.

I'm a dismal failure at it.

[_Imwashingmypirate]

It would appear that you are overstructured, not lacking structure. I have a similar problem only opposite. I lack all structure and find it difficult to keep and set goals. I have no routine and just go with the flow.

So if you work out how to become less organised, let me know and I will try the opposite.

Good luck, and have a fun summer.

[_Moniker]

Doing nothing makes me miserable, too, Jersey Girl. I had a list of things I wanted to accomplish and I've finished them. Oop!

I have books piled up that I'm working through, yet, my mind starts to drift every so often and then I feel restless. My kids are gone for summer break with their Dad and I'm bored senseless. I was invited out this weekend and opted to sit at home with a can of wasabi peas reading books. ohhh not a good move.

I'm just going to force myself to go do something. I'm sooooo bored.

[_Bond...James Bond]

Doing nothing makes me miserable, too, Jersey Girl. I had a list of things I wanted to accomplish and I've finished them. Oop!

I have books piled up that I'm working through, yet, my mind starts to drift every so often and then I feel restless. My kids are gone for summer break with their Dad and I'm bored senseless. I was invited out this weekend and opted to sit at home with a can of wasabi peas reading books. ohhh not a good move.

I'm just going to force myself to go do something. I'm sooooo bored.

Start studying for the BAR. I'd suggest a country wide roadtrip but that'd be superexpensive.

Oh yeah...I'm really good at doing nothing. It don't take much to make me satisfied. Contentment though is another thing....