Do women follow the golden rule in romantic relationships?

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_Yoda

Post by _Yoda »

I absolutely agree with TD. A relationship where one person I
is trying to exude power over the other is not healthy. And, there are actual WOMEN, not girls, who really strive for healthy equality in relationships. Nobody's perfect, but there are those of us who do try.

Speaking to your example of the woman who is "testing" her boyfriend by seeing how badly she can get away with treating him......my simple analysis of this woman is that she is a jerk who cannot be trusted.

You mentioned that you wouldn't mind going into business with her? I would say that would be a HUGE mistake. I know that I couldn't trust someone in a working relationship that involved my money with someone who was acting so irresponsibly in her personal relationship.

I suppose, Ajax, that I can't help you "figure out" the type of woman you are speaking of, because I am not that type of woman. LOL

Have I come into contact with the type of woman you describe? Yes, and I have stayed as far away from this type of person as I could. ;)
_Moniker
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Post by _Moniker »

Ajax be the Ducky.... be the Ducky....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ym9j0faWIw
_Yoda

Post by _Yoda »

Ajax, let me ask you a couple of questions. Are you in a relationship right now?

What would be your ideal type of fair relationship?
_antishock8
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Post by _antishock8 »

Ajax,

I'm not sure what you're driving at. Would you be kind enough to bulletize your questions? That being said, I'll chip in with my two cents on this question:

Do women follow the golden rule in romantic relationships?

The answer to that question is an emphatic "NO". Here's why:

1) Human beings are afflicted with a severe case of myopia.

2) Human beings are islands unto themselves. This creates emotional isolationism, which in turn leads to a bad case of nihilism which leads to selfishness.

3) Women, in particular, are taught dozens of social and cultural lessons that subordinate their identities to materialism and the Patriarchy. It's hard to be altruistic when you're objectified. Once objectified the human seeks nihilism and selfishness as coping mechanisms.

4) Men are objectified by society in the sense that they're "providers". In other words, we're walking, talking ATM's, and people have a sense of entitlement to what we earn. Mens' value is often defined by what we accrue, and how much we can provide. Someone who's indentity is based in materialism with escapsit nihilistic tendencies will objectify the man, at a minimum, as much as she herself has been objectified. Men who succumb to this compartmentalized existence will wield their wealth with as much fervor as a beautiful woman will show some skin. It's just the way things are.

-----------------

Your best bet to find an equal is to find an equal. Someone who has a career, real hobbies, passionate pursuits, etc... That kind of person will view you less as something he or she can use, and more as someone he or she wants as a friend. Friends are generally better suited to meet each other's needs that are less egocentric. So if you want a lover, find a friend.
You can’t trust adults to tell you the truth.

Scream the lie, whisper the retraction.- The Left
_Moniker
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Post by _Moniker »

antishock8 wrote:
So if you want a lover, find a friend.


Be the Ducky....
_truth dancer
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Post by _truth dancer »

Ajax,

I'm thinking you may enjoy reading John Stuart Mill's, The Subjection of Women.


The Subjection of Women

I highly recommend it!

~dancer~
"The search for reality is the most dangerous of all undertakings for it destroys the world in which you live." Nisargadatta Maharaj
_Scottie
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Post by _Scottie »

As long as we're throwing stereotypes out here...

Do men feel like they need to be equal in the housework?
Do men feel like they are equal in raising the kids?
Do men feel like they are equal in cooking?
Do men feel like they are equal in paying the bills?
Etc, etc, etc.

Or are all these "women's jobs"?
If there's one thing I've learned from this board, it's that consensual sex with multiple partners is okay unless God commands it. - Abman

I find this place to be hostile toward all brands of stupidity. That's why I like it. - Some Schmo
_The Nehor
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Post by _The Nehor »

Find someone who takes great pleasure in making you happy. Then go and do thou likewise for them.
"Surely he knows that DCP, The Nehor, Lamanite, and other key apologists..." -Scratch clarifying my status in apologetics
"I admit it; I'm a petty, petty man." -Some Schmo
_Yoda

Post by _Yoda »

Scottie wrote:As long as we're throwing stereotypes out here...

Do men feel like they need to be equal in the housework?
Do men feel like they are equal in raising the kids?
Do men feel like they are equal in cooking?
Do men feel like they are equal in paying the bills?
Etc, etc, etc.

Or are all these "women's jobs"?


Come to my house sometime. ;)

We've been married for 21 years, so there are things we have learned along the way to avoid killing each other. LOL

My husband cleans as much as I do. Since we both work, it comes down to whoever is home does their part.

Parenting is also a very shared experience. The trick with the teen-agers is providing a united front. ;)

We have separate checking accounts. We manage money very differently. Separate accounts has kept us out of divorce court. LOL

Since he makes more money than I do, he pays more of the bills, but I pay bills proportionate to what I bring into the household.

Bottom line----as anyone who is married can tell you, it takes a lot of work and a lot of communication. It also takes accepting your partner for who he/she is, and loving that person in spite of their flaws, because we all have them.
_Yoda

Post by _Yoda »

Moniker wrote:Ajax be the Ducky.... be the Ducky....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ym9j0faWIw


*sigh* good movie. ;)
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