William Schryver wrote:liz:
That's what really bugs you, isn't it? You feel like an outsider...a watcher.
Rest assured, I
am an outsider.
No, you aren't, Will. You are so much like the most objectionable among us that you reek with it, and you know it, and you hate it, so you attack anyone you feel might be vulnerable. The problem is... none of us is vulnerable. Those who don't care... don't care. And those who do simply pity you. We're the mirror, and you hate the man in the mirror who looks back at you, because you know in your heart you are not worthy of the priesthood you hold, and you seek to exercise it unrighteously, and those who you have hurt will stand in judgment of you in the end. You live in fear, and the shallowness of your bravado is so apparent, even the least discerning can see through you.
So you put us all down, and act like you're above it all.
As you well-noted, I’m just a watcher. And I report what I see.
No, you report what you'd like to see, what you wish you saw. That what you report has nothing to do with what is real about this place is simply not something you are capable of seeing, let alone reporting.
You know what, Will? If you stopped the act, and were less spiteful, I think that you would be surprised at the reaction you would receive.
Despite the quaint naïveté of your sincere, albeit misguided invitation, I assure you I’m quite certain that if I served notice of intent, I would be welcomed into the circle with open arms and hairy palms.
Actually, you wouldn't be welcomed at all. You'd have to prove your worth, and your sincerity, and we all know how hard it is for you to repent. Liz is a sweetie with a kind heart; the rest of us are not so forgiving.
Forgive me if I choose to stay on the outside looking in.
You don't have the moral stamina to be able to sustain the needed repentance, Will. We all know that, you included. The first step is to acknowledge that you made a mistake, a big mistake, a grave mistake, and we all know you can't do that. You prefer to live in your sin, because it's easier than admitting to your mistake.
What's objectionable … is when someone like yourself comes in and attacks someone unprovoked.
Ah, the nebulous prerequisite of provocation. Of course, one man’s provocation is another man’s prevarication.
Which, of course, is nothing more or less than what we've all come to expect from you: a lot of hot air.
There's no need for it.
Need, my dear, has nothing to do with it. Except in the sense to be understood by Porter Rockwell’s famous affirmation:
“I never killed any man that didn’t need killin’.”
I am not at all surprised by your admiration of a killer and scoundrel. It definitely fits you.