The Cult of Domesticity

[Guest]

Ah, no wonder the Church mentality seems so strange to me! A different era? A though pattern I'm not accustomed to from men and women?

http://www.library.csi.cuny.edu/dept/hi ... woman.html

The Church was founded during this time period and has not really advanced mentally, it seems.

[_Moniker]

I forget no one clicks on links:

Doctors advised women, from puberty to menopause, to direct their attention toward healthy reproduction. Women must avoid strong emotions, like anger, because they might damage their organs. Motherhood was a woman's normal function. Those who thwarted nature's plan must expect to suffer for their action. Spinsters and celebates were thus fated to experience a greater incidence of physical and emotional disease, a shorter life span, and a reproductive system under constant pressure and therefore prone to cancer and digenerative ills. A woman's reproductive organs must be bathed occasionally with a man's vital force if she was to remain healthy.

Puberty was just as critical a time for men. This was the era of the self-made man, and men must concentrate their energies, their life force on getting ahead in the world. Men must, in particular, reserve their sexual energies, because semen was believed the most potent of life forces. It was estimated that one ounce of semen carried as much energy as four ounces of blood. There was some concern about too much continence, that is, too little sexual expression in men, but for the most part, the concern was for excessive sexual activity. Particularly at puberty, masturbation or frequent intercourse would result in premature decay, and the exposure of the male to disease and early death. Women's indifference to sex was upheld as a guard on men, helping them to protect themselves, and prevent over-expenditure of their life force.

Ideal Number One: Piety:

Nineteenth-century Americans believed that women had a particular propensity for religion. The modern young woman of the 1820s and 1830s was thought of as a new Eve working with God to bring the world out of sin through her suffering, through her pure, and passionless love.

Religion was thought to be a good thing in women, a salve for a potentially restless mind, an occupation which could be undertaken within woman's proper sphere--the home. The early women's seminaries and academies, which were under attack for leading women astray from their true purpose and task in life, promised that far from taking women away from religion, they would make of young women handmaidens of God, efficient auxilliaries in the great task of renovating the world. Irreligion in females was considered "the most revolting human characteristic." Indeed, it was said that "godless, no woman, mother though she be."

Ideal Number Two: Purity:

Female purity was also highly reverred. Without sexual purity, a woman was no woman, but rather a lower form of being, a "fallen woman," unworthy of the love of her sex and unfit for their company.

To contemplate the loss of one's purity brought tears and hysteria to young women. This made it a little difficult, and certainly a bit confusing, to contemplate one's marriage, for in popular literature, the marriage night was advertised as the greatest night in a woman's life, the night when she bestowed upon her husband her greatest treasure, her virginity. From thence onward, she was dependent upon him, an empty vessel without legal or emotional existence of her own. A woman must guard her treasure with her life. Despite any male attempt to assault her, she must remain pure and chaste. She must not give in, must not give her treasure into the wrong hands. The following is advice on how to protect oneself and one's treasure given by Mrs. Eliza Farrar, author of The Young Woman's Friend: "sit not with another in a place that is too narrow; read not out of the same book; let not your eagerness to see anything induce you to place your head close to another person's."

Ideal Number Three: Submissiveness

This was perhaps the most feminine of virtues. Men were supposed to be religious, although not generally. Men were supposed to be pure, although one could really not expect it. But men never supposed to be submissive. Men were to be movers, and doers--the actors in life. Women were to be passive bystanders, submitting to fate, to duty, to God, and to men.

Ideal Number Four: Domesticity:

Woman's place was in the home. Woman's role was to be busy at those morally uplifting tasks aimed at maintaining and fulfilling her piety and purity.

Housework was deemed such an uplifting task. Godey's Ladies Book argued, "There is more to be learned about pouring out tea and coffee than most young ladies are willing to believe." Needlework and crafts were also approved activities which kept women in the home, busy about her tasks of wifely duties and childcare, keeping the home a cheerful, peaceful place which would attract men away from the evils of the outer world.

[_Boaz & Lidia]

"What is the problem?"

[_Scottie]

I'm so glad we've advanced since then. This is sad to read.

Although, it seems like the pendulum has shifted too far the other way. A woman that chooses to stay home and raise her children is looked upon as less of a person than one who has a career. My ex-wife faced this all the time. When she told them she was a stay at home mother, people would give her condescending little comments that made her feel like a failure to society.

[_Boaz & Lidia]

I'm so glad we've advanced since then. This is sad to read.

Although, it seems like the pendulum has shifted too far the other way. A woman that chooses to stay home and raise her children is looked upon as less of a person than one who has a career. My ex-wife faced this all the time. When she told them she was a stay at home mother, people would give her condescending little comments that made her feel like a failure to society.

My foster mother stayed at home with the kids.

How did she do? With her own kids, one pothead, one drunk, one drug addict, all but one of their own children had shotgun weddings, four divorces, only one missionary and only one temple marriage(divorced now). All while living in the shadow of SLC in a town that was 95% LDS. A very active LDS family.

With today's modern conveniences, smaller families and men sharing child raising responsibilities, I see no reason why mothers cannot work and be a mother.

[_Scottie]

I'm so glad we've advanced since then. This is sad to read.

Although, it seems like the pendulum has shifted too far the other way. A woman that chooses to stay home and raise her children is looked upon as less of a person than one who has a career. My ex-wife faced this all the time. When she told them she was a stay at home mother, people would give her condescending little comments that made her feel like a failure to society.

My foster mother stayed at home with the kids.

How did she do? With her own kids, one pothead, one drunk, one drug addict, all but one of their own children had shotgun weddings, four divorces, only one missionary and only one temple marriage(divorced now). All while living in the shadow of SLC in a town that was 95% LDS. A very active LDS family.

With today's modern conveniences, smaller families and men sharing child raising responsibilities, I see no reason why mothers cannot work and be a mother.

I'm not saying that working mothers are bad. Not at all!

The girl I work with is a HORRIBLE stay at home mother. She can't handle being with her kids and needs to work.

And, I'm not saying that the simple fact that a mother stays at home that the kids will turn out great. There are SO many dynamics in a family, not to mention the nature of a child, that it is impossible to say any one thing caused a child to turn out like they did.

I'm just saying that a woman that chooses to stay at home with her kids should not be demonized by society. It seems to me that this is happening more and more.

[_Ray A]

Along with this piece of ancient history, we celebrate another milestone today:

[_Boaz & Lidia]

I'm so glad we've advanced since then. This is sad to read.

Although, it seems like the pendulum has shifted too far the other way. A woman that chooses to stay home and raise her children is looked upon as less of a person than one who has a career. My ex-wife faced this all the time. When she told them she was a stay at home mother, people would give her condescending little comments that made her feel like a failure to society.

My foster mother stayed at home with the kids.

How did she do? With her own kids, one pothead, one drunk, one drug addict, all but one of their own children had shotgun weddings, four divorces, only one missionary and only one temple marriage(divorced now). All while living in the shadow of SLC in a town that was 95% LDS. A very active LDS family.

With today's modern conveniences, smaller families and men sharing child raising responsibilities, I see no reason why mothers cannot work and be a mother.

I'm not saying that working mothers are bad. Not at all!

The girl I work with is a HORRIBLE stay at home mother. She can't handle being with her kids and needs to work.

And, I'm not saying that the simple fact that a mother stays at home that the kids will turn out great. There are SO many dynamics in a family, not to mention the nature of a child, that it is impossible to say any one thing caused a child to turn out like they did.

I'm just saying that a woman that chooses to stay at home with her kids should not be demonized by society. It seems to me that this is happening more and more.

Perhaps by those who are doing both successfully?

[_Scottie]

Perhaps by those who are doing both successfully?

So, you're ok demonizing a woman if she chooses to stay home?

Note the key word here: CHOOSES.

[_Boaz & Lidia]

Perhaps by those who are doing both successfully?

So, you're ok demonizing a woman if she chooses to stay home?

Note the key word here: CHOOSES.

And many working mothers see that as being lazy.