Did Smith claim to be a messiah? Did Smith struggle over polygamy? Did he consider ending it before he was vicuosly murdered?
Look, I do not view Joseph Smith as some perfect little never do nothing wrong person. I think he started a Church with good intents and that God inspired him. I think that as often happens he gave in to some pride and liked the power it brought him over his people. I think he made some major mistakes along the way, polygamy being the largest.
Do I view him as a cut and dry malicious scoundrel. No I do not. I think the issues are complex.
Am I willing to cut him more slack due to what I have invested in Mormonism? I hold this out as a real possibility.
I watched a documentary about this sect, and these members struggled over God's order for the Messiah to have sex with his female followers, too. They sought spiritual affirmation before engaging in this behavior, including the "Messiah's" own son who had the honor of dedicating his own wife to the Messiah for the sacred sex. You really think these people didn't struggle??? What, you think anyone other than Joseph Smith naturally leaped at the chance to have sex without struggling with the moral side of the issue? The fact that they struggled is witnessed by their determination to create a theology justifying it.
So they all struggle when "God" tells them to do something that affronts their cultural mores. You're left with the distinction that one claimed to be a Messiah and the other claimed to be the Prophet of the Restoration.
Absolutely your emotional attachment to Mormonism colors your ability to recognize that for anyone other than those spiritually devoted to Joseph Smith, his sexual behavior was scandalous (leaving aside for the moment some of his other behaviors, like encouraging people to buy unhealthy swamp land and supporting a fraudulent bank).