DCP: Shocking Animal Cruelty Allegations Revealed

[_Jersey Girl]

Okay, so I have to do this. This is one of the funniest/tasteless parodies I ever came across on the Internet.

http://www.landoverbaptist.org/news1299/santy.html

The jig is up for Jersey Girl.

[_moksha]

So is the "skinny" list just a euphemism for inveterate cat gorgers? This new revelation could prove catastrophic.

[_KimberlyAnn]

That is a great song, Kimbers.

In your sig.

I like it because it's nerd specific.

I'm glad you like it.

Yes, it's nerd specific. I guess that makes me the target audience. I love that song.

It's not only musically pleasing, it's also lyrically clever. It's a love song about cross-word puzzles! But most people would never know that because it works just as well for people.

I think you already know this, but for those who don't, Every Word is the title song for the documentary about cross-word puzzles, Wordplay.

KA

[_KimberlyAnn]

You can't tell where guys's fingers are going to go.

Lesson One.

No kidding!

I learned that lesson behind the school cafeteria at the end of ninth grade.

Gotta push away those sneaky guy hands.

KA

[_Joey]

The butchering was presumably preceded by vivisection and presumably followed, as noted above, by poor carrot selection.

This is a rather ridiculous accusation and completely unfounded.

Most know that the PPTM (Peterson Preferred Torturing Method) is to isolate the victim and play FARMS Publications on Tape. It's like death with a lethal dose of chloroform!

[_Daniel Peterson]

Most know that the PPTM (Peterson Preferred Torturing Method) is to isolate the victim and play FARMS Publications on Tape. It's like death with a lethal dose of chloroform!

Knowing this, Joey has scrupulously avoided exposure to FARMS publications, thereby both saving his life and preserving his capacity to judge them.

[_KimberlyAnn]

Buffy isn't the only thing DCP stole from you, Chris. I think he swiped your avatar, too! It disappeared on a day Peterson is known to have posted on this board. What more proof is needed?

If he's capable of stewing your cat, who knows what he might do to a little Lego man? Poor misfortunate fella, being held captive by Mormons.

I bet Daniel Peterson is forcing Lego Man to take the missionary lessons against his will.



KA

[_Joey]

Knowing this, Joey has scrupulously avoided exposure to FARMS publications,

Not true, have read Clark, Sorenson, and Hamblin articles. Hence the "choloroform" analogy.

I just think you may want to offer some smelling salt to the readers up front. Maybe that's why, as you have pointed out, there is a good reason they are ignored so much by those outside of Provo.

My apologies in advance if you are now suggesting that FARMS has upgraded it's authors from those articles?

But don"t mean to derail a cat killing thread.

[_Daniel Peterson]

Not true, have read Clark, Sorenson, and Hamblin articles. Hence the "choloroform" analogy.

I'm sure I speak for Professors Clark, Sorenson, and Hamblin when I apologize that they didn't write in the style of People magazine or message board posts.

as you have pointed out, there is a good reason they are ignored so much by those outside of Provo.

I've never pointed that out, and don't believe it to be true.

I think that they tend to be read mostly by people interested in Mormonism. People not interested in Mormonism don't tend to read them. (This isn't complicated, Joey: I don't read People or Car and Driver.) But people interested in Mormonism aren't limited to "Provo," or even to Utah.

And, anyhow, people who've simply never read FARMS publications aren't very likely to have decided never to read them because, not having read them, they've decided that FARMS publications are written in too boring a style -- unless they simply react viscerally to anything with multisyllabic words, footnotes, and sentences containing more than one clause. I have not the slighest opinion about the style of writing in People, Car and Driver, Vogue, the National Enquirer, or Seventeen. I'll defer to your opinions regarding that.

[_Joey]

I have not the slighest opinion about the style of writing in People, Car and Driver, Vogue, the National Enquirer, or Seventeen."

Then why would you bring them into the discussion at all? I defer to your "apparent" knowledge of them to draw any comparisons, favorable or unfavorable, to the writing style of FARMS articles I referred to.

Frankly, you had asked about FARMS articles which I had read and the basis for my "chloroform" analogy. Bringing up these other publications seems more like your typical and predictable diffussion and avoidance.

And no need to apologize about Hamblin's, Sorensons' and Clark's writing style (but then that's what "apologists" do, don't they!). Even good writers will fail with bad material and weak positions. It's why such works are, as you specifically pointed out, "ignored".