A new ally in the War against Gay Marriage

[_The Nehor]

WASHINGTON—Gay rights activists protested the defeat of bill S. 743 Monday, saying that the proposed legislation giving homosexuals the right to marry was derailed by the National Association of Semi-personalized Linens Manufacturers (NASLM), a powerful lobby representing the nation's gender-specific bath-towel makers. "The special interests of those producing matching knickknacks for traditional heterosexual couples have been over-represented in this debate for far too long," said GLAAD president Neil Giuliano, citing the influential lobby's contribution of more than $95 million in campaign funds during the last election cycle. "We cannot allow the outdated values of a profiteering minority of towel makers stand in the way of social change." NASLM released a statement in response to Giuliano's criticism that expressed the organization's belief that "marriage is a sacred bond between a his and a hers."

[_asbestosman]

On the other hand, Halmark is now making gay marriage cards featuring a picture with two men wearing tuxedos and holding hands.

[_The Nehor]

On the other hand, Halmark is now making gay marriage cards featuring a picture with two men wearing tuxedos and holding hands.

Well, they're going to hell too. :)

[_Ray A]

NASLM released a statement in response to Giuliano's criticism that expressed the organization's belief that "marriage is a sacred bond between a his and a hers."

A his and a "hers"? Polygamy okay, gay marriage not okay.

[_MsJack]

WASHINGTON—Gay rights activists protested the defeat of bill S. 743 Monday, saying that the proposed legislation giving homosexuals the right to marry was derailed by the National Association of Semi-personalized Linens Manufacturers (NASLM), a powerful lobby representing the nation's gender-specific bath-towel makers. "The special interests of those producing matching knickknacks for traditional heterosexual couples have been over-represented in this debate for far too long," said GLAAD president Neil Giuliano, citing the influential lobby's contribution of more than $95 million in campaign funds during the last election cycle. "We cannot allow the outdated values of a profiteering minority of towel makers stand in the way of social change." NASLM released a statement in response to Giuliano's criticism that expressed the organization's belief that "marriage is a sacred bond between a his and a hers."

That is some pretty good news parody. I was surprised to see that it comes from the Onion and not from Scrappleface.

[_Gazelam]

Very strange that a group of people who spend so much time in bath houses would be butting heads with a towel manufacturer.

[_John Larsen]

Very strange that a group of people who spend so much time in bath houses would be butting heads with a towel manufacturer.

Bath houses? What are you, 104 years old? ;)

[_Some Schmo]

But the towel company is short sighted. A gay male couple could just buy a couple of sets, and give the "hers" towels to their lesbian friends.

[_The Nehor]

But the towel company is short sighted. A gay male couple could just buy a couple of sets, and give the "hers" towels to their lesbian friends.

That defeats the whole purpose of telling the towels apart. They'd probably have more luck targeting male/male crossdresser relationships.

[_moksha]

Very strange that a group of people who spend so much time in bath houses would be butting heads with a towel manufacturer.

Yes, why can't they just come clean about this before everyone gets steamed?