I hereby testify, Mister Scratch is TRUE.

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_Angus McAwesome
_Emeritus
Posts: 579
Joined: Mon Jun 02, 2008 3:32 pm

Re: I hereby testify, Mister Scratch is TRUE.

Post by _Angus McAwesome »

From now on, whenever I see a "kill Scratch" post or another dumbass "Dan/Scratch" thread I'm going to post something completely random in it so at least the entire thread won't be nothing but the same old crap...

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I was afraid of the dark when I was young. "Don't be afraid, my son," my mother would always say. "The child-eating night goblins can smell fear." Bitch... - Kreepy Kat
_Pokatator
_Emeritus
Posts: 1417
Joined: Thu Oct 26, 2006 12:38 pm

Re: I hereby testify, Mister Scratch is TRUE.

Post by _Pokatator »

Daniel Peterson wrote:In the dungeon of Castle Orem, I'm breeding a race of superpowerful warriors called Morgs. When my work is complete, we will rule the world, and all dissent will be squashed forever.

Mwahahahaha.



Quick! Somebody fetch a fan and his smelling salts for Master Scartch! The poor fellow has fainted dead away!

He's out on the sidewalk, right by my garbage can. He was halfway in it when he had his crisis, and it's fallen over with him still in the can, his legs hanging out. I feel terrible. I didn't realize that he could hear me from there.


Dr., Mr., er bishop Pederson: I think your post has a typo in it. I took the liberty to correct it. Everyone knows that all the Morcs look like Robin Williams.
I think it would be morally right to lie about your religion to edit the article favorably.
bcspace
_SUAS
_Emeritus
Posts: 214
Joined: Sun Dec 30, 2007 4:14 pm

Re: I hereby testify, Mister Scratch is TRUE.

Post by _SUAS »

I know this Scratch is true...I know he will answer my prayers..I also want a pink caddillac..when I sell you some Amway...and ..a mink coat..when I sell enough tupperware...
God has left the building and is staying at Motel 8
_dblagent007
_Emeritus
Posts: 1068
Joined: Fri May 30, 2008 6:00 pm

Re: I hereby testify, Mister Scratch is TRUE.

Post by _dblagent007 »

For anyone that has to deal with Scratch:

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_The Nehor
_Emeritus
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Joined: Mon Apr 30, 2007 2:05 am

Re: Re:

Post by _The Nehor »

Dr. Shades wrote:
Daniel Peterson wrote:I call for a congressional inquiry.

I'm personally terrified. I doubt that I'll sleep tonight.

Oh, this is simply horrible.


Don't get me wrong: I'm not implying that I take it seriously; I simply implied my fear that others might.


Don't worry about it. Scratch acts terrified of DCP but I posted a few things to test this. I then explained in lurid detail with some gory details how I would dismember him with much less overt sarcasm. Scratch still acts as if DCP's statements are dangerous and ignores my psychopathic posts. It's a personal thing. I'm not high-profile enough.

What must I do to have Scratch contact his fake internet lawyer about me? (Sigh)
"Surely he knows that DCP, The Nehor, Lamanite, and other key apologists..." -Scratch clarifying my status in apologetics
"I admit it; I'm a petty, petty man." -Some Schmo
_JustMe
_Emeritus
Posts: 321
Joined: Thu Sep 11, 2008 4:37 am

Re: Re:

Post by _JustMe »

[/quote]

Don't worry about it. Scratch acts terrified of DCP but I posted a few things to test this. I then explained in lurid detail with some gory details how I would dismember him with much less overt sarcasm. Scratch still acts as if DCP's statements are dangerous and ignores my psychopathic posts. It's a personal thing. I'm not high-profile enough.

What must I do to have Scratch contact his fake internet lawyer about me? (Sigh)[/quote]

Threaten to kiss him? But then you'd have to scrub your lips with germ killer type cleansers and weed be gone or some such. I mean heavens, the contamination alone would just about kill ya let alone the smell of pure rot for being that close to such a vile person.
_Brackite
_Emeritus
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Re: Re:

Post by _Brackite »

The Nehor wrote:
Don't worry about it. Scratch acts terrified of DCP but I posted a few things to test this. I then explained in lurid detail with some gory details how I would dismember him with much less overt sarcasm. Scratch still acts as if DCP's statements are dangerous and ignores my psychopathic posts. It's a personal thing. I'm not high-profile enough.

What must I do to have Scratch contact his fake internet lawyer about me? (Sigh)



I do Not believe that Mister Scratch acts terrified of Professor DCP.
"And I've said it before, you want to know what Joseph Smith looked like in Nauvoo, just look at Trump." - Fence Sitter
_Daniel Peterson
_Emeritus
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Joined: Thu Jul 05, 2007 6:56 pm

Re: Re:

Post by _Daniel Peterson »

Brackite wrote:I do Not believe that Mister Scratch acts terrified of Professor DCP.

I agree. Scartch is faking it.
_Gadianton
_Emeritus
Posts: 9947
Joined: Sat Jul 07, 2007 5:12 am

Re: Re:

Post by _Gadianton »

JustMe wrote:


Don't worry about it. Scratch acts terrified of DCP but I posted a few things to test this. I then explained in lurid detail with some gory details how I would dismember him with much less overt sarcasm. Scratch still acts as if DCP's statements are dangerous and ignores my psychopathic posts. It's a personal thing. I'm not high-profile enough.

What must I do to have Scratch contact his fake internet lawyer about me? (Sigh)[/quote]

Threaten to kiss him? But then you'd have to scrub your lips with germ killer type cleansers and weed be gone or some such. I mean heavens, the contamination alone would just about kill ya let alone the smell of pure rot for being that close to such a vile person.[/quote]

You'll need to work on the style more than a fair amount, but the general substance you deliver I think well qualifies you for a shot at publishing in the FROB.
Lou Midgley 08/20/2020: "...meat wad," and "cockroach" are pithy descriptions of human beings used by gemli? They were not fashioned by Professor Peterson.

LM 11/23/2018: one can explain away the soul of human beings...as...a Meat Unit, to use Professor Peterson's clever derogatory description of gemli's ideology.
_Daniel Peterson
_Emeritus
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Joined: Thu Jul 05, 2007 6:56 pm

Re: Re:

Post by _Daniel Peterson »

Gadianton wrote:You'll need to work on the style more than a fair amount, but the general substance you deliver I think well qualifies you for a shot at publishing in the FROB.

I'm speechless with astonishment at Gad's achievement here. He's assumed the role of Master Scartch's Doppelgänger, and he's assumed it convincingly and authoritatively.
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