They can speculate but I am not permitted to explain

[_Yoda]

Have you tried to talk to him and see what happens?

Of course I have.

[technically the words are "through" Heavenly Father's plan]

Yes you are right, my bad. What's even scarier is that I knew that much of the song by heart...

Those primary songs are catchy little suckers. LOL

So....what happened when you tried to talk to your stepfather? Did he just refuse to acknowledge you, or what?

I know...none of my business...just curious. I hope things work out. I hate seeing families torn apart, and although I have respect for both Bob and DCP, I flat-out disagree with their decision in acting the way they did in this case.

[_mms]

Mms, I have let go of my need to have it all be 'oh so true'. This will ultimately leave you in a quandary. Instead, I look toward the capability of the Church in meeting my spiritual needs. So far, that has worked well for me, since they have been meeting my spiritual needs.

Could this work for you?

Maybe, which is why I continue to be active. I am hopeful that I can find a place. But most Sundays, I find little inspiring about what I am hearing in those hours at Church. The consequences for me are not nearly as dire as they are for some. I have been the only active member on my side of the family for decades. My wife has been as supportive as anyone could be through this whole thing and I have been COMPLETELY honest with her about my concerns at every turn. She thinks we can continue to attend and simply be less traditional members (she has a lot of the same doubts and concerns). I am fine with that, except that it is slightly uncomfortable to be the guy in the corner that "is struggling with his testimony". I get to deal with people trying to "fix" me when I am not even allowed to explain why I "broke" in the first place. Some days, the whole thing sounds completely insane. But I'm a happily married guy who has no desire to drink, smoke, or whatever, so there is no "sin" that is making me feel like I need to get out. At present, I just don't happen to think some of the most important things taught are true. I know, just "choose to believe", right? I never have understood what that means, exactly.

[_GoodK]

Those primary songs are catchy little suckers. LOL

So....what happened when you tried to talk to your stepfather? Did he just refuse to acknowledge you, or what?

I know...none of my business...just curious. I hope things work out. I hate seeing families torn apart, and although I have respect for both Bob and DCP, I flat-out disagree with their decision in acting the way they did in this case.

He disowned me, basically. Via email.

I may post a blog about it, eventually.

[_SUAS]

Liz is a part time therapist..she doesn't like seeing families torn apart...but hers was because her brother did not go on a mission but instead went to college..or maybe he went in the army...anywho..her own family has been torn apart as well ...Her hubby holds a high position in the church..and if anyone found out her true Identity her family would be torn apart again....she has however asked her huubies permission to be a moderator on this board...but they are not going to let her daughters be exposed to internet..or the you tube either...

[_SUAS]

Cats never forget...ever...

[_Inconceivable]

I understand where you are coming from, mms.

Your concerns are not unfounded.

I resigned first quarter of this year. For about 3 years, I only discussed my concerns with the SP, Bishop & EQP. If I had it to do over, I would be just a little more vocal. Why? At the time I believed I was a "faith destroyer" to open my mouth. I thought I had nothing to replace my loss of faith. This is a lie. This notion came from a lifetime of indoctrination.

Leaving the church (if that becomes your choice) does not mean you reject what is good about it, it does demonstrate that Smith et al do not represent your core values of honesty, integrity, charity and morality. All or nothing is another big lie. Rejecting the church has begun to leave me with the goodness that is left. I'm not feeling empty with reality anymore.

I have only rejected the doctrines unique to Mormonism. Make a list, it is surprising what is not theirs to take credit for. It's a big list of wise counsel I wish to continue to hold dear.

My wife and half my kids are still active. It's been tough on her to go to church with just two of our kids - embarrassing and humiliating - my heart goes out to her and she understands that. But because of the improvements we have made in taking marriage counseling (by a non-mormon) among other things, I believe I've never been more respected for the decisions I (and we) make from day to day. Life and valuable relationships are fragile.

I wish you well in your journey.

[_Daniel Peterson]

Ain't that the truth. It's no wonder Bishops rcrocket and DCP harp on and on about posters using their real names -- so they can tattle the second they know.

As some people on this board know very well, that is not true.

Moreover, I've expressly said -- probably half a dozen times now, at least -- that I have not the slightest problem with anonymous or pseudonymous posters. What I do have a problem with, of course, is the small minority of pseudonymous/anonymous posters who devote all or most of their posts to defaming others by name.

What rcrocket and DCP did to you was they lowest thing I've seen done on this or other Mormon-related bb (and that's saying something!).

I've said what I had to say on that matter, and have nothing further to add.

*****

mms, if there's anything I can ever do to help you, please don't hesitate to write to me via a PM, or, perhaps better, via daniel_peterson@BYU.edu.

I'm not the monster that some here delight in portraying me to be, and I would be more than happy to help, or to try to locate help, if I'm able.

[_Trevor]

I haven't spoken to my step dad since that entire fiasco. Actually, he hasn't spoken to me. Thanks again, bishops.

Families can be together forever, with Heavenly Father's plan...

Come again?

I thought you said that you and your dad were now doing fine. Did something change recently?

If so, sorry to hear it.

[_Daniel Peterson]

I haven't spoken to my step dad since that entire fiasco. Actually, he hasn't spoken to me. Thanks again, bishops.

Come on, GoodK. You and I both know . . . Well, you and I both know, don't we?

[_Gadianton]

mms,

Believe me, I know your struggles. If you are married with kids to an active member, then, ok, you're going through more than I did. But I understand the basics.

But at a certain point, you know what?

You're either going to continue to be kicked in the teeth and made to feel like a nobody and an outcast, and die as one silenced by people who in the end don't care about you, or you are going to stand up, give the middle finger, and do whatever the F*** you want to do. And you will die as one who "stood for something," ironically.

And I say this not as "you have to make a choice," but as a prophecy, either one of these two things will happen.

In the position you find yourself in, there is no compromise. It's either own, or be owned.