Hi Harmony, appreciate your OP, have enjoyed & speculated upon much that followed. You said:
So... I'm home, tired, grumpy, a bit under the weather. And I start to thinking... if this life is all there is (and it's certainly all that can be verified), if religion doesn't matter, if this is the one chance I'm going to get to do whatever it is I hope to accomplish... how am I doing? Am I satisfied with my life? Is this what I would be doing, if I knew I'd be gone within a specified period of time?
I hope you're better rested, less grumpy, & out from under the weather. You asked, (of yourself) "How am i doing?" I warmly suggest, "Yer doin' great! Ya got my respect! And that ain't jus' butta..."
You probably know already my opinions and sentiments on the points you touched. Anyway I'll reiterate them cuz they weren't quickly, or painlessly arrived at. However, I do now enjoy a surety and comfort that grows constantly in MY life.
"...this life all..." I could not ask for more! Has it been easy? No. Ease is not the purpose of life. Have I been challenged? VERY! By others, & mostly by myself. (learning how to deal with those "others" ;-) "I" now see no reason to imagine/hope-for/believe-in another life. Other than that of absolutely knowing my biodegradeable body will go back to the elements from which it came to nourish new life. To ME that is most comforting cuz we all are equal in so doing. As in fetus; so in death. As THE designer--imagine yer own--intends.
"...if religion doesn't matter..." It does! When one interprets the word correctly:-) Let me suggest "religion" has been erroniously limited, generally speaking, to a religious application in the past. How about we think in terms of "religion" simply being a-way, or the-way one lives? Then it means everything.
Try it this way, "...if 'the-way-you-live' doesn't matter..." No sane mature person could conclude that the way you live (your religion) doesn't matter. Nothing matters more, IMSCO.
"...one chance..." No! A zillion chances. We wake up every morning to opportunities/chances that can be taken. The great blessing is ya don't have to take them all. Seek/Find and take the one(s) that fit YOU the best. Letting/helping others do the same.
Sounds like you've done pretty good: Family love! Job satisfaction! Involved with folks who obviously appreciate you--like here. Flirting is wonderful, pleasant and harmless. Not the same as coming-on. It validates one as, "gee, someone thinks I'm nice. I MUST be.WOW!"
"...life satisfaction..." is subjective and in the hands of each individual. Don't find it satisfying? Then adjust/fine-tune it. We're lucky today with a longevity that opportunes more than ever before. Enjoy life don't lament, or waste it.
OK... As for THE church, or any CHURCH. Take it for what IT offers not for what IT demands. Believe what you want. BUT live with compassion and integrity. Be assured, after one learns the basics of human relations, and other than mixing with the group of your choice, church is simply a traditional story-telling, meeting place. Go where you want, when you want, if you want... "The sabbath was made for man..."
Warm regards, Roger
Have you noticed what a beautiful day it is? Some can't...
"God": nick-name for the Universe...