FARMS H-bombs the Three Nephites

[_collegeterrace]

Good night, Scratch.

Get a life.

He has a wonderful life, hanging mo'poloists out on the line for the whole world to see --without the secret undies.

[_Gadianton]

Douglas Beardall told me that his "book is selling very well." "In fact," he stated, "we have ordered another 22,000 copies printed."23 Heaven help us!

Wow, look at the bitterness over the author's success.

[_Daniel Peterson]

Wow, look at the bitterness over the author's success.

Indeed. What a venomous remark! The bitterness and rage practically overflow!

This is really great stuff, Gad. I truly believe that you've outdone the Master himself. You have a gift.

[_Mister Scratch]

Douglas Beardall told me that his "book is selling very well." "In fact," he stated, "we have ordered another 22,000 copies printed."23 Heaven help us!

Wow, look at the bitterness over the author's success.

Actually, Gad, I think that this is a very important observation. You'll no doubt recall that Gary Novak took up at least a paragraph or two in one of his FROB articles in order to whine endlessly about how some article of his was "rejected" by Lavina Fielding Anderson. What a sob story it was!

One gets the sense, odd as it may seem, that the FROB authors resent the fact that their "success" seems limited to FARMS. Sure: they would like a broader audience, but they damn themselves via their involvement with FARMS. And this breeds deep resentment in them.

[_Daniel Peterson]

The following is a standard response:

Master Scartch has devoted himself since at least 2006 to publicly defaming me while maintaining his anonymity. A particular focus of his hatred is the FARMS Review, which I founded and edit.

The FARMS Review has been appearing, now, for very nearly twenty years. The entirety of every issue of the Review is available on line, at

http://farms.BYU.edu/publications/review/

Anyone interested in inspecting the FARMS Review for himself or herself, without Scartch’s defamatory spin, without Scartch’s hostile selection and editing, without looking through the distorting Scartchian lens, is entirely welcome to do so.

I regard Master Scartch as an obsessive and malevolent loon, and have decided to refrain from further gratifying his weird fixation on me and those connected with me. Attempting conversation with him over the past many months has accomplished precisely nothing, and is, plainly, a complete waste of my time -- especially given the fact that it's his self-described "mission" and "amusement" to be "perceived" by "Mopologists" as "full of hate." (Scartch, MDB, 1 October 2008)

[_LifeOnaPlate]

You'll no doubt recall that Gary Novak took up at least a paragraph or two in one of his FROB articles in order to whine endlessly about how some article of his was "rejected" by Lavina Fielding Anderson.

Incoherent.

So when are you going to be in town so I can schedule time for lunch?

[_Mister Scratch]

You'll no doubt recall that Gary Novak took up at least a paragraph or two in one of his FROB articles in order to whine endlessly about how some article of his was "rejected" by Lavina Fielding Anderson.

Incoherent.

So when are you going to be in town so I can schedule time for lunch?

You'll have to ask DCP if he'll attend. Otherwise, it's no dice.

[_Daniel Peterson]

Okay. I accept the Scartchmeister's invitation in the spirit of science.

I'll bring my camera, too. I'll post the photographs here after our lunch.

When and where, Scartch? Are you paying? And, of course, you'll have to identify yourself. I don't do lunch with people who refuse to give their names. Can my wife come?

You'll no doubt recall that Gary Novak took up at least a paragraph or two in one of his FROB articles in order to whine endlessly about how some article of his was "rejected" by Lavina Fielding Anderson.

Incoherent.

It's really very difficult -- even, for the sake of discussion, granting the accuracy of the Scartchmeister's dubious description -- to comprehend how one would be able to "whine endlessly" (or, for that matter, do anything else "endlessly") within the boundaries of "a paragraph or two."

This, I suspect, is one of the incomprehensible mysteries of the Scartchodox faith. Credo quia absurdum est. Reason can only extend so far in matters like this.

[_Daniel Peterson]

For our lunch, I would like a very public place, where we're plainly visible and there are large numbers of people. I'll bring my camera and record the event, and I'll post the photographs here within the day.

I'll bring others with me, perhaps including my wife. (I'll have to think about whether I'm willing to put her at potential risk, and whether, in a best case scenario, I really want her to have to listen to your defamations and slanders over lunch. I don't think she'd enjoy that very much.)

This may well prove to be a watershed moment in the history of Scartchoplexy.

Again, will you be paying? It would be at least a token gesture of atonement if you did.

[_Jersey Girl]

For our lunch, I would like a very public place, where we're plainly visible and there are large numbers of people. I'll bring my camera and record the event, and I'll post the photographs here within the day.

I'll bring others with me, perhaps including my wife. (I'll have to think about whether I'm willing to put her at potential risk, and whether, in a best case scenario, I really want her to have to listen to your defamations and slanders over lunch. I don't think she'd enjoy that very much.)

This may well prove to be a watershed moment in the history of Scartchoplexy.

Again, will you be paying? It would be at least a token gesture of atonement if you did.

If you had it in the cafeteria of IKEA, I'd cover you.

:-D