Crazy Mormon child-raising techniques.

[_Sethbag]

As I posted earlier, my own religious stupidity stuff didn't rise to the same level of BS that Danna had to put up with, but some of those things were relevent to us as well, and I was well aware of the beliefs underlying everything else she wrote. To deny that these things were, to varying degrees depending, I guess, on location, part of the church culture back then, is simply untenable. It most certainly was.

[_antishock8]

Well, sociological trends tend to occur in waves. I think my experience demonstrated that I was on the tail end of a social wave. It's not mysterious why some younger Mormons would view my experience as something alien, because it is... Literally... Unknown to them. I can only imagine what Mormonism was like in the '50's, or the 1870's. Crazy. Perhaps Mormonism reflects the conservative elements in America, in a profoundly transparent manner. I'm not sure.

[_Danna]

I think Mormons always have to make a point of difference from surrounding people, so whatever society does, the Mormons will adjust in such a way that they will still be "a peculiar people"

[_GoodK]

My parents were pretty strict too, but http://www.mormongulag.com takes the cake as far as cooky Mormon rules go.

Did you know that there is an image of Satan in every tobacco or alcohol advertisement? I remember being shown shades of color and shadows in a magazine ad for Parliaments that supposedly composed a devil face.

We prayed more than Muslims - every morning before school, before every meal, in certain classes, before a game or activity, and before bed. We were also encouraged to pray on our own.

We read the Book of Mormon together every day for at least an hour. On Sunday it was worse.

No music, non-LDS or "LDS approved" books (I developed a passion for reading this way, my mom inadvertantly helped me smuggle in King and Thompson and Rushdie and I would read them late at night when the moon was out) video games, or contact with girls.

No hats or long hair either, or facial hair.

[_selek]

Oh, this is a walk down (not-so-fond) memory lane...

Rules my ultra-TBM mother enforced:

Until I was in my mid-teens, we were required to wear church clothes all day on Sunday.

No playing outside, sports, TV, etc. on Sundays (we were allowed to play board games with the family). The only exceptions to the TV rule that I remember was whenever "The Ten Commandments" was on.

No face cards.

No Ouiji boards, palm reading, or tarrot cards.

I remember missing out on the opportunity to play in a little-league "all-star" baseball team because the game was on Sunday.

No shopping or eating out on Sunday. Even on vacation, we'd try to stop at the local church for the service, and eat sandwiches for lunch to avoid spending money or patronizing a business on Sunday.

No dating till 16.

My sisters weren't allowed to shave their legs, wear nylons, or wear makup until they were about 14 or 15. Skirts had to be to the knees. Bikinis were strictly prohibitted.

No shorts except in our own backyard. (Mom read this somewhere in a Kimball book, methinks)

No rated PG or R movies. Eventually, when I was about 10 or so, my parents allowed me to see Star Wars, and they relaxed the PG rule.

No watching the TV show "M.A.S.H." - my parents saw the movie in the theater and assumed the TV show was equally "evil". By the time I was 16 or 17, they relaxed that rule.

Fasting was required every month - pure human misery for a teenage boy.

Must pay a full tithe. I even remember paying tithing on the value of gifts I had recieved for birthdays and christmas.

No caffinated drinks at all. Until my mission, I thought cola was just as wrong as alcohol or coffee. It wasn't until my mission that I learned this wasn't "doctrine" (assuming a person can define "doctrine" in the LDS church...)

In music, I had some hard-core rock and punk tastes, so I mostly had to keep it hidden from my parents. My mother about cried when I bought an album by "Suicidal Tendencies" (punk band). Once, she chastised me for listening to Pink Floyd's "I need a dirty woman".

She frequently used the phrase: "Anything virtuous, lovely, or of good report..." to ban anything she thought harmful. Another guilt phrase she often used was "a worthy priesthood holder would not do such a thing...".

I even remember a sunday school teaching who taught us that the "Publisher's Clearinghouse Sweepstakes" was gambling because you had to pay the price of the stamp to send in your application.

I had another sunday school teacher who insisted that breath mints and chewing gum broke your fast.

So many silly rules and regulations....funny to think I used to believe in that nonsense.

[_Dr. Shades]

Must pay a full tithe. I even remember paying tithing on the value of gifts I had recieved for birthdays and christmas.

Oh man, say it ain't so! I'm willing to bet that not even the prophets ever practiced or required such a thing. Did you remind her that the original buyer had already paid the tithing on it?

Another guilt phrase she often used was "a worthy priesthood holder would not do such a thing...".

You should've responded, "I know."

I even remember a sunday school teaching who taught us that the "Publisher's Clearinghouse Sweepstakes" was gambling because you had to pay the price of the stamp to send in your application.

I've heard of taking something to its logical extreme, but that's an illogical extreme.

I had another sunday school teacher who insisted that breath mints and chewing gum broke your fast.

Sounds pretty pharisaical to me.

Selek, what a freakin' nightmare. Y'know, I'll bet that you would've had a LESS repressive childhood if you had been raised Muslim.

[_Trevor]

Dungeons and dragons (the fantasy role-playing game) was actually occult training. Mum believed that advanced players actually gained occult powers.

I can tell you from personal and nerdly experience, that this one is not true. Sigh. How I tried. Mmmm, occult powers.

[_moksha]

Perhaps Mormonism reflects the conservative elements in America, in a profoundly transparent manner. I'm not sure.

I think the seeds for that ultra conservatism were planted when we fully abandoned polygamy.

[_harmony]

Perhaps Mormonism reflects the conservative elements in America, in a profoundly transparent manner. I'm not sure.

I think the seeds for that ultra conservatism were planted when we fully abandoned polygamy.

It takes a truly convoluted mind to be ultra or even mildly conservative while in a polygamous relationship/culture, in the American culture, at least.

[_selek]

Must pay a full tithe. I even remember paying tithing on the value of gifts I had recieved for birthdays and christmas.

Oh man, say it ain't so! I'm willing to bet that not even the prophets ever practiced or required such a thing. Did you remind her that the original buyer had already paid the tithing on it?

Another guilt phrase she often used was "a worthy priesthood holder would not do such a thing...".

You should've responded, "I know."

I even remember a sunday school teaching who taught us that the "Publisher's Clearinghouse Sweepstakes" was gambling because you had to pay the price of the stamp to send in your application.

I've heard of taking something to its logical extreme, but that's an illogical extreme.

I had another sunday school teacher who insisted that breath mints and chewing gum broke your fast.

Sounds pretty pharisaical to me.

Selek, what a freakin' nightmare. Y'know, I'll bet that you would've had a LESS repressive childhood if you had been raised Muslim.

Hehe...you're right.

In retrospect, I can see that my parents even grew and learned as they got older.

I'm the seventh of eight children. With my two oldest siblings, my parents were super-duper hard core. Years later, my brother told me some of the things that my father did, and it was clearly mental and physical child abuse (not sexual). Because of the totalitarian methods, my oldest siblings went off the deep end and it took decades for them to be able to establish healthy lives and relationships.

With the middle children (when these rules were strictly enforced), my parents were strict but not abusive.

By the time my parents got to my younger sister and I (in our teen years), they had mellowed out considerably - they were still hard core TBM with strange rules. But, their reaction to disobedience was different. Rather than beat me (like he did my older brother and sister), my father would react with dissapointment and sorrow whenever I'd do something "wrong". My mother would lay a guilt trip on me. Frankly, I think those methods were better at controlling me than beatings.

My mother learned the "guilt trip" method from the church leaders and their writings. I especially despise Kimball's so-called "Miracle of Forgiveness" and McKonkies so-called "Mormon Doctrine". Those books were the genesis of many of the bizarre rules, shaming, self-loathing, and guilt in the selek household.