'stoned Part 2 : The Misfortune Cookie

[Guest]

My favorite Twilight Zone episode is called The Misfortune Cookie. It's a story about a food critic that likes to ruin Chinese restaurants by writing negative reviews of them for a newspaper. He collects matchbooks from the restaurants and in one scene it shows how he arranges them to look like tombstones in a graveyard. The last restaurant he ever reviews is magical. It gives him a fortune that reads, "You are going to die". He's furious about this and leaves the restaurant. He becomes terribly hungry at that point and as he looks around, he's surrounded by Chinese restaraunts. He enters one and eats and eats and eats, but without satisfying his hunger. It seems though his punishment is to eat forever, unsatisfied.

The lesson for the apologists is clear. Like the food critic, the "Reviewers" delight in the hope that they might ruin the book sales of Chapel Mormons. But in a twist of fate it will turn out that while they might make the cut and inherit the Celestial Kingdom, they will find themselves a small body of misfits surrounded by Chapel Mormons --- including God and Jesus who are also Chapel Mormons. It will be the apologists' fate to sit through an eternity of "boring Sunday School lessons", as Livingstone put it; to be forced to eat for the rest of eternity without fulfillment the very thing they mocked and condemned, served to them by those they ruined.

[_harmony]

And the moral of the story is: what goes around comes around. Or, in other words, do unto others as you would like to be done unto because if you don't, sure as God made lil green apples, you're going to be done unto and you probably won't like it very much.

[_Trevor]

Karma.

[_solomarineris]

And the moral of the story is: what goes around comes around. Or, in other words, do unto others as you would like to be done unto because if you don't, sure as God made lil green apples, you're going to be done unto and you probably won't like it very much.

Actually, it doesn't. It doesn't come around to hound you, when you get away with it. If I had inclination for a bad deed I'd do it in a hart beat but I don't want to hurt people in anyway.
This old wives tale is as bad as believing into when you pay tithing you'll get the blessings.

[_Mister Scratch]

Another important contribution to the growing body of literature. Still, I find the observations a bit....odd. If we take LDS doctrine and logic to its inevitable conclusion, then I think we would have to concede that, in fact, most of these apologists will not make it to the CK---or, at the very least, that they have forsaken their shot at exaltation. They will be ministering angels, at best. Unless they repent, that is. Unfortunately, so many of these Mopologists are rife with deep personal bitterness and hatred--not to mention a surfeit of vanity and pride--and they have allowed it to pollute their personal behavior. Folks like DCP, Hamblin, Midgley, Gary Novak, Juliann, Pahoran, and so on have virtually doomed their chances at the CK due to their disgusting, utterly vicious behavior. DCP, for instance, would need to apologize for smearing Mike Quinn's reputation in order to achieve exaltation. But, of course, his hubris prevents him from doing so.

[_Gadianton]

Well, Scratch, another way to look at it might be in light of a common Mormon conception of how we judge ourselves. That we will inevitably reside in the kingdom we feel comfortable in. This requires a thought exercise of imagining ourselves in another kingdom, a kingdom we will not technically qualify for. So while you may be right that most of the apologists have a lot of repenting to do -- most notably for their apologetics -- it is intriguing to me to consider what their lot would be even if they were to make the cut. It would be a "Twilight Zone" reversal of fortune, indeed.

[_harmony]

Folks like DCP, Hamblin, Midgley, Gary Novak, Juliann, Pahoran, and so on have virtually doomed their chances at the CK due to their disgusting, utterly vicious behavior. DCP, for instance, would need to apologize for smearing Mike Quinn's reputation in order to achieve exaltation. But, of course, his hubris prevents him from doing so.

I can't imagine being stuck in a place forever with people that you despise. There is no repentence after death. The salt of the earth, the Chapel Mormons, will gain their exaltation, as will those who ridicule their faith. We will get what we deserve. All of us.

[_moksha]

Folks like DCP, Hamblin, Midgley, Gary Novak, Juliann, Pahoran, and so on have virtually doomed their chances at the CK...

Too bad we do not have Nehor here in his Belial guise, to tell us what they won behind door number two.


.

[_The Nehor]

And the moral of the story is: what goes around comes around. Or, in other words, do unto others as you would like to be done unto because if you don't, sure as God made lil green apples, you're going to be done unto and you probably won't like it very much.

So in the next life you'll have anonymous internet posters harangue your decisions, question your devotion to Christ, demand your financial records, and continually demean your spirituality as karma for what you say about LDS leaders?

[_The Nehor]

Unfortunately, so many of these Mopologists are rife with deep personal bitterness and hatred--not to mention a surfeit of vanity and pride--and they have allowed it to pollute their personal behavior.

If you're right about them.......

WOW!!!! Can you imagine? Living for eternity with you in some kind of sick, endless debate. I need to go repent now in mortal terror of ending up like that.