YWs New Value "Virtue".

[_Moniker]

I just thought of something. I know self esteem is talked about a lot with waiting until marriage, yet, the way the Church approaches is doesn't seem to foster self esteem at all. Matter of fact it seems to approach it in a way where only if you jump through certain predetermined hoops will you be given inner and outer bravos. The outer promptings that include shame and pride don't seem to foster an atmosphere where an individual has much belief that they alone are responsible for their choices and can make wise ones.

Part of teaching self esteem is not sheltering, allowing kids to make mistakes and to know it's OKAY to make mistakes and to learn from failures, being able to express emotions (negative ones, too - this isn't encouraged in the church is it?), stepping outside their peer group (if your culture is the Church and you're told it must be the Church way or the highway this is the complete opposite of teaching independence), and encouragement to try new things.

[_Jersey Girl]

Moniker,

From the same website you used, here's a good article on tobacco use and the developing brain. I think we all know that tobacco use during pregnancy can result in LBW and premature birth. This article goes several steps beyond that to address links between tobacco use during pregnancy and motor function, cognitive development, behavior and ties it to learning disabilities such as ADD/ADHD. I only briefly scanned the article, I think there are flaws in this piece. It appears to immediately link alcohol and tobacco uses as twin behaviors but doesn't make a distinction between alcohol and tobacco use when discussing adverse outcomes. I didn't notice if it addressed cranial abnormalities which, if memory serves me right, are also thought to be linked to tobacco use during pregnancy. It's useful all the same.

http://pubs.niaaa.nih.gov/publications/arh24-4/242-249.pdf

[_Ray A]

I think we all know that tobacco use during pregnancy can result in LBW and premature birth.

That explains it. My mother was a pack-a-day smoker from the age of 14. At least I have an excuse?

[_Jersey Girl]

I haven't read through this entire thread but I wanted to add my thoughts regarding prenatal alcohol and tobacco use and I don't care if it sounds preachy.

I know that knee jerk reaction to pregnant women who smoke or drink alcohol is to point the finger and criticize. If that is anyone here, you're solidly missing the boat in that regard. Time and experience has taught me that when a woman knowingly places her developing infant at risk through the use of alcohol and tobacco, something else is going on in her life.

We, as a society, should be more concerned about the emotional, psychological and economic health of other human beings. Look past the glass and the cigarrette and you will most likely find a woman who is stressed and/or conflicted and that's what leads to the addiction and dependency.

If all you have is a moment in passing don't point the finger, look past what is in her hand and offer her a compliment or kind word, something positive for her to take with her.

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[_Jersey Girl]

Which is why teachers like my daughter teach self-esteem-based abstinance backed by condoms. And occasionally she wins, when young girls buck their culture, finish high school, and go on to college, instead of becoming a drop-out single mom at 15.

And when they do become a drop-out single mom at 15 and come to the realization, after a few years, that they need to get their life in order for themselves and their child, they both come in contact with someone like me. :-)

[_Scottie]

I haven't read through this entire thread but I wanted to add my thoughts regarding prenatal alcohol and tobacco use and I don't care if it sounds preachy.

I know that knee jerk reaction to pregnant women who smoke or drink alcohol is to point the finger and criticize. If that is anyone here, you're solidly missing the boat in that regard. Time and experience has taught me that when a woman knowingly places her developing infant at risk through the use of alcohol and tobacco, something else is going on in her life.

We, as a society, should be more concerned about the emotional, psychological and economic health of other human beings. Look past the glass and the cigarrette and you will most likely find a woman who is stressed and/or conflicted and that's what leads to the addiction and dependency.

If all you have is a moment in passing don't point the finger, look past what is in her hand and offer her a compliment or kind word, something positive for her to take with her.

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Thanks, Jersey Girl. I think you are right. We should all at least try to get an inkling of what it must be like to be in that persons situation before we judge. That is certainly something I need to be reminded of from time to time.