Inc.
I read your link and read your op.
Let me review a few things you said.
Later in my life I began to realize that the messages I received through revelation were not always accurate. I began to admit to myself that sometimes they were absolutely wrong.
You obviously reached a point where you were very much in tune. But there is a lesson to be learned when tapping in to the revelatory process.
I can't find the exact quote, but Joseph once stated that there are different kinds of revelations, some are of the devil, some are of his own making, and some are of God. It is a persons duty to learn to distinguish between them. You had obviously reached that point and had some problems.
As a TBM chapel Mormon, I spent a great deal of my efforts in emphasizing the importance of emulating the peace that is Christ's charity and to witness for ourselves what the Book of Mormon prophets described as singing the song of redeeming love (Alma 5:9-62) a manifestation I believe I had experienced throughout my life. This was the foundation of my hopes and beliefs.
I think I'm at that point now, that I am beginning to move from understanding laws and principles to trying to put them into operation through love and service. Trying to emulate the man behind the laws as opposed to just declaring the laws. Beign the person behind the principle instead of just teaching it.
A few years ago when I began to search the Mormon books to vindicate my heros, the door of inspiration literally slammed shut and even my dreams began to become increasingly darker and without instruction. Even after commiting to several consecutive days of painful fasting during the hot Arizona summer, the peace, assurance and confirmations never came. If somehow they would have come, I would have shelved my doubts and held on to any gift received. But whoever or whatever it was that passed information to me from beyond the veil (up to my 42nd year) had cut and run.
What you say here also occured to Joseph Smith. He spent a season where the Lord kind of left him on his own. "The heavens were sealed.." he said, and he was left on his own. This seems to me to be the part where God expects us to take what he has already given and work with it. God doesent want to have to tell us what to do all of the time. If we are to grow, then sometimes we need to fly on our own.
Its our responsibility to be true to the covenants we have made and to be patient with the lot God has given us. I remember when I was a kid having physical growing pains. Sometimes we have spiritual ones as well.
We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light. - Plato