Truthdancer

[_truth dancer]

Hi Abman,

When I hear about places where women are allowed to be alone with children but men are not, I'm a bit irked.

Me too. The men in my family are as outstanding as can be and would treat children much better than most women I know. OTOH, knowing the way the world works I understand the concerns.

When men are often presumed guilty until proven innocent (think Duke Lacross players), I'm not happy.

Don't like anyone, men or women presumed guilty without proof. The truth is, men get away with rape many more times than a woman falsely accuses. Pretty difficult to prove most rapes.

When I hear about how overwhelmingly women get child custody and men get the bill, I'm less than thrilled even though I'm not happy with deadbeats either.

In the past, few fathers invested much time parenting their children so it would have made sense to keep children primarily with their mothers. Today, I see a very real attempt, from everyone from judges to social workers to keep fathers who want to parent their children in the picture. I personally know of NO case in recent history where an involved, concerned, decent father wanted equal custody and did not get it.

When I hear about women who don't want to go into engineering because it's too much of a boy's subject, I really wonder what's up. Math isn't hard as Barbie once said. My mother was very skilled in mathematics.

I have never heard this. Ever. I can't imagine a woman saying such a thing. Makes me wonder what sort of culture a woman has been raised in to even think such a thing.

When I hear stereotypes about how men are too dumb to understand woman's point of view, I really have to wonder--do they understand mine? I often feel like they don't, especially when they talk about men just don't understand that women aren't the cause of evil in the world.

I think some men and women have a difficult time understanding or relating to the opposite sex.

I'm not sure what your last sentence means. Could you explain it?

I'm guessing you do not think women are the cause of all the evil in the world but you do understand that this was/is a "truth" held by much of the men in our world right?

But hopefully my perception of the reverse-bias is distorted. It does bother me though.

We all have different experiences and different perspectives.

~td~

[_Seven]

"asbestosman" It's a pet peeve of mine which I should probably just learn to ignore.

When I hear about places where women are allowed to be alone with children but men are not, I'm a bit irked.

Which places are you referring?
Most of us know someone or have family members who have been molested by a trusted male friend or family member.
So not allowing my girls to be alone with grown men on camping trips, sleepovers, (or alone anywhere really) etc. is a safety concern. Men should be more than understanding about that and avoid those situations if nothing else than for appearances.

But I can't think of many places my husband can't take his daughters that I can besides the mother's nursing lounge or bathroom.

I think I understand your point though. Men are not the only ones who have sexually abused children, but it's way more common.

[_Seven]

I don't think it has anything to do with a man's penis.

Men feel the need to repress women to feel adequate in themselves. Perhaps because women are far more complex and are able to have babies.

I also think maybe men are afraid of how much power we really have over them. Look at how some women use their sexuality against the husband or lover as punishment, denying them sex? Or use it to seduce a man?
The beauty and power the female body has over men has caused them to repress and control us out of fear, in my opinion.

[_asbestosman]

When I hear stereotypes about how men are too dumb to understand woman's point of view, I really have to wonder--do they understand mine? I often feel like they don't, especially when they talk about men just don't understand that women aren't the cause of evil in the world.

<snip>
I'm not sure what your last sentence means. Could you explain it?

I'm guessing you do not think women are the cause of all the evil in the world but you do understand that this was/is a "truth" held by much of the men in our world right?

First off, props for the last response--I think it was fair and useful.

My last sentence was referring to the thread subject about men not understanding. Not specifically to this thread--I hear all the time that men jsut don't "get it". Yet what I wonder is if women "get" how it makes me feel when they talk generally about men thinking they're the root of evil. I don't think that way. Oh, may have joked on occasion--mostly when I was single and unable to get a date (meaning it was sour grapes).

But that aside, I think your previous response demonstrates that you do get it, and that is comforting.

[_asbestosman]

Which places are you referring?

Primay at church for example.

But I can't think of many places my husband can't take his daughters that I can besides the mother's nursing lounge or bathroom.

Which is as it should be.

think I understand your point though. Men are not the only ones who have sexually abused children, but it's way more common.

Exactly. Even then, most men are safe I think. If we're going to add safety restrictions on men to protect children, I think it's logical to add the same safety restrictions to women. Women are relatively safer, but if we're looking for protection, let's not play gender games. If men only abused others at the low rates women do, we'd still be wise to place safety restrictions on them--and women too.

[_Seven]

Then there's the double-reverse whammy where men talk about how spiritual women are as though it is somehow a sufficient reason for why women don't hold the priesthood or to explain a polygamous afterlife. Too bad the fool who came up with that lame excuse didn't think it through to see how much it hurts both sides.

I HATE when I hear men say that crap. If they understood that much of what makes a woman appear to be nicer and more spiritual is only hormonal differences.

[_asbestosman]

I also think maybe men are afraid of how much power we really have over them. Look at how some women use their sexuality against the husband or lover as punishment, denying them sex? Or use it to seduce a man?
The beauty and power the female body has over men has caused them to repress and control us out of fear, in my opinion.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but I think biology has played a strong role in making women more picky about their partners than men. I recently read an article which said it's fairly easy to read when a man is interested in a woman, but it's hard to tell with women--even if the person reading her is another woman.

[_asbestosman]

If they understood that much of what makes a woman appear to be nicer and more spiritual is only hormonal differences.

And we all know how fickle those can be for us humans. Men get hormonal too, but unlike with women the male danger days aren't usually known weeks / years in advance ;)

[_solomarineris]

Only the men haven't figured it out. What do you expect? Best to just leave them in their fantasy world and run things in spite of them.

LOL
I was talking to God other day about you women, I wasn't even ranting 'bout you girls, he said;
-"Son, do you know why I gave them that monthly burden?"
No. Why"
-"Hell, they deserved it!"