The Berry-Picker's "Laughter"

[_Daniel Peterson]

What made the threat against the other bishop credible?

First, it was an actual threat, made seriously.*

Second, the person who made it is apparently a genuine paranoid schizophrenic, with a history of making such threats and, if I'm not misinformed, an actual history of violence and police intervention.

Third, the person who made it is extremely large and muscular.

Fourth, the person who made it literally foams at the mouth. (I've seen it.) Which is a nice added effect.

* By contrast, for example, my alleged "threat" against Mister Scratch plainly wasn't a threat at all -- it didn't even have the verbal form of a threat and wasn't even addressed to him -- but was, rather, a joke.

[_Mister Scratch]

Huh. A while back, an LDS bishop and apologist threatened to attack me with an assault rifle, and then claimed it was simply some kind of silly joke. Perhaps this young man also was "just joking"? Do you think I need to obtain a court order against you, Dan? Are you sorry for your remark?

Come on, Scratch....really? Didn't Dan previously apologize for that remark? Honestly, hanging onto this really makes you look paranoid.

No, Liz. He never apologized. I have never seen him apologize for anything. As I'm sure you'll recall, he never apologized to GoodK either.

[_Mister Scratch]

Huh. A while back, an LDS bishop and apologist threatened to attack me with an assault rifle, and then claimed it was simply some kind of silly joke. Perhaps this young man also was "just joking"? Do you think I need to obtain a court order against you, Dan? Are you sorry for your remark?

I still can't quite tell whether you actually believe this nonsense -- in which case you're paranoid, and need help -- or whether it's some pointlessly stupid multi-year charade.

Well, I guess I feel the same way about apologetics. Is it just some "pointlessly stupid multi-decade" joke? Or, do you actually believe that your FARMS writings constitute the actual way that Latter-day Saints are supposed to behave and to present themselves?

[_Daniel Peterson]

Well, I guess I feel the same way about apologetics. Is it just some "pointlessly stupid multi-decade" joke? Or, do you actually believe that your FARMS writings constitute the actual way that Latter-day Saints are supposed to behave and to present themselves?

Here is a list of a fairly representative sample of my apologetic writings. Any who are interested can take a look for themselves:

http://farms.BYU.edu/authors/?authorID=1

[_Mister Scratch]

I thought it would be interesting and instructive to juxtapose a pair of quotations:

Scratchite demonology notwithstanding, I despise gossip.

What made the threat against the other bishop credible?

First, it was an actual threat, made seriously.*

Second, the person who made it is apparently a genuine paranoid schizophrenic, with a history of making such threats and, if I'm not misinformed, an actual history of violence and police intervention.

Third, the person who made it is extremely large and muscular.

Fourth, the person who made it literally foams at the mouth. (I've seen it.) Which is a nice added effect.

Hmm. That's interesting. This person "foams at the mouth"? Would this individual be pleased to see DCP characterizing him in this way? Does DCP somehow not understand what "gossip" is?

[_Daniel Peterson]

Hmm. That's interesting. This person "foams at the mouth"?

Yes. Literally.

It was really unnerving, and I was not the only person who saw it. Others did, on several occasions.

I don't know what, if anything, it means, but it was scary, and many of the people in the ward were terrified of him, for this and other reasons.

Would this individual be pleased to see DCP characterizing him in this way?

Presumably not. He would probably threaten to kill me.

Does DCP somehow not understand what "gossip" is?

I understand that I've said nothing to identify the person in question nor even to identify the state or country in which he currently resides.

I also understand that you're going to attempt to use this case, as you've attempted to use every other occasion for several years now, to blacken my reputation and to cast doubt upon my character.

[_Mister Scratch]

Hmm. That's interesting. This person "foams at the mouth"?

Yes. Literally.

It was really unnerving, and I was not the only person who saw it. Others did, on several occasions.

I don't know what, if anything, it means, but it was scary, and many of the people in the ward were terrified of him, for this and other reasons.

I bet! And now, thanks to your...gossip?...he seems "scary" to me---and no doubt others--as well.

Would this individual be pleased to see DCP characterizing him in this way?

Presumably not. He would probably threaten to kill me.

And yet, you were comfortable sharing this little anecdote.

Does DCP somehow not understand what "gossip" is?

I understand that I've said nothing to identify the person in question nor even to identify the state or country in which he currently resides.

Gee, I don't know. You gave quite a few details. You said he had been "part of your ward." Frankly, I think he deserves to know what's been said about him here.

Could this be the time when your gossiping finally comes back to haunt you? At long last, have you engaged in a bit of gossip that you might now actually feel sorry for?

I also understand that you're going to attempt to use this case, as you've attempted to use every other occasion for several years now, to blacken my reputation and to cast doubt upon my character.

You seem to misunderstand what I'm all about. I couldn't care less whether your character is "blackened," or whether you come out smelling like roses. Frankly, I don't appreciate your continuous misrepresentation and spinning of my purposes and motives. Now, I have warned you about this several times. If you continue to willfully misrepresent what I do, then I think it will be clear to everyone that you are interested only in smearing and in spinning the truth. You could do the decent thing, and extend the olive branch---as I have done on a number of occasions---or, you could at the very least try to figure out what I'm up to. Instead, you rely on your obviously malign prejudices and assumptions, and I don't appreciate it one bit.

[_Daniel Peterson]

I bet! And now, thanks to your...gossip?...he seems "scary" to me---and no doubt others--as well.

Well, when and if you see him, you'll only be able to identify him if he foams at the mouth and threatens to kill you.

And, in that case, you'll no doubt say that it was my gossip that scared you, rather than his behavior.

Yes, I'm that evil.

You said he had been "part of your ward." Frankly, I think he deserves to know what's been said about him here.

When, foaming at the mouth, he says he's going to decapitate you and you recognize who he is, tell him what I said. Then call 911.

Could this be the time when your gossiping finally comes back to haunt you? At long last, have you engaged in a bit of gossip that you might now actually feel sorry for?

I haven't gossiped.

I don't appreciate your continuous misrepresentation and spinning of my purposes and motives. Now, I have warned you about this several times. If you continue to willfully misrepresent what I do, then I think it will be clear to everyone that you are interested only in smearing and in spinning the truth. . . . you rely on your obviously malign prejudices and assumptions, and I don't appreciate it one bit.

Oh my.

Oh. I think I'm going to fall out of my chair laughing.

Oh my oh my oh my.

Can it possibly get any richer than this?

[_Mister Scratch]

Could this be the time when your gossiping finally comes back to haunt you? At long last, have you engaged in a bit of gossip that you might now actually feel sorry for?

I haven't gossiped.

What would you call what you did, then?

[_Mister Scratch]

Oh my.

Oh. I think I'm going to fall out of my chair laughing.

Oh my oh my oh my.

Can it possibly get any richer than this?

Why? When you demand such things, it's fine and dandy, but when it is requested of you, it is "fall out of [the] chair" funny? "Rich" indeed, Bishop Peterson.