West Ridge Academy Missionaries Tutor With Love

[_why me]

Somehow this thread is being written in bad taste. If the Academy has abused the youth in any way and it can be proven in court, then I can say it needs to be closed down. But as of this stage, the academy and abuse has not been proven. And this goes for Eric and his family. I think that this should be a private matter between the family and not for a board discussion since very few if any of us know what exactly is going on.

I know that I wouldn't want my family problems or perceived problems splashed over the internet and open for discussion by strangers. And as a parent, I would not want anyone to think that I was a bad parent if this was not the case.

Now to discuss the academy is one thing but to discuss eric and his step dad's relationship is quite another.

[_truth dancer]

ARRGG I just wrote a long (very brilliant, I might add) post and it disappeared into oblivion when I hit submit! OK, I'm doing a little yoga breathing... OMMMMM This will be more brief. (smile)

So, it should be shut down in your view? If you were running the state, would you issue today an executive order shutting it down?

If I were in charge of the world there would be no unwanted children, only parents who demonstrated exceptional parenting skills would be allowed to have children, and no child would ever be raised in an institution.

I am 100% certain that in another few decades these sorts of programs will be unlawful and considered barbaric by mainstream society. (They already are by most people I know).

No answer from you?

Sorry if my life takes me away from your questions for more than thirty minutes.

All those kids with no place to go except back home?

Nonsense. There are plenty of places children and families can go for help; all sorts of services and support available. I'm pretty sure you know this. (Again, we are discussing children with mild behavioral problems like depression, bereavement, family conflicts).

And, is something wrong with keeping families together? I find it outrageous that parents (and evidently you?) with children with mild behavioral problems think their only option to survive is to send their children away, across the Country in some cases to be raised in an institution.

But then, there are the parents (or step parents) who don't want their children (or step children); how about these adults letting their children be adopted or placed in a home where they will be cared for rather than have them kidnapped and taken away to be raised in an institution?

People out of a job?

These people can work to actually help families and children rather than continue to separate families while raising children in an institution.

That's what you're saying, right.

Ahh Bob, stop with the lawyering *&%$. You know this has nothing to do with what I am saying.

State officials just should read GoodK's website; conduct no investigation and just shut the whole place down, as well as others in the state like it, right?

In case you misread, the website to which I refer is the WBR not GoodK's. But again you are playing your games.

Has anyone even remotely suggested State officials should just read GoodK's website? NO. Has anyone suggested there should be no investigation? NO. Has anyone said the place should be shut down just based on statements from Eric? NO. Seems everyone involved in this conversation has done their research. Seems everyone here thinks there should be an investigation.

Again, there is absolutely NO reason whatsoever a child should be kidnapped from their home with the parents' (or step parents') blessing and placed in an institution for years on end. No legitimate reason whatsoever. None!

One last thing, again, the information GoodK has shared is only confirmation of what I already know. I have seen first hand a video of a "kidnapping". Eric is not the only person I know who was raised in this institution and I fundamentally disagree with the program.

~td~

[_harmony]

I am among the parents who sent a teenager away for a period of time. He had some emotional issues that were interfering with his education, and he needed a change of scene. I didn't send him to a boot camp; that just seems the oddest thing to me, to send a childn to a stranger, someone you don't know. I sent him to a relative. They live 45 minutes from us; he spent the weekdays with them and their family, one son of which was his age, and came home on the weekends. For 4 months, we picked him up every Friday and took him back every Sunday night. It was a win-win for us. While at the end of every school day, I was missing my son, I knew he was with family who were taking good care of him, loving him, and that his steadying influence was helping them with their rebellious son who was his age.

I sent him away for his own good because there were influences at school from which he needed to escape, not for my convenience, and certainly not to change him. The end result of this exercise was that their son graduated and went on his mission, mine was able to cope with his issue, and he got a great summer job out of it.

In my ward family, we have lots of kids who come live with relatives in my neighborhood, kids with issues that other families might have sent them away to boot camp to cure. Instead, they are sent to loving extended families, given tasks to do on the farm in relative isolation from bad influences and relatively few opportunities for poor choices, taught skills they wouldn't have access to in the city. This is the way to handle teenagers who persist in walking outside the lines, I think. Don't send them to boot camp. Send them to the family farm. Put them to work.

[_Yoda]

Amen, Harm!

Oh, and, TD, don't worry about your post that disappeared into oblivion. The one you posted was brilliant, as usual.

[_harmony]

I wonder if the step dad ever regretted posting on this board. He obviously didn't regret sending his step son away for years.

I know many many LDS men. I don't know any... none... zip... nada... who would say something like that. Which probably explains why I don't know any LDS fathers who have abdicated the raising of a son or a step son to strangers in another state. I doubt the mothers would allow it.

We have had problem children here in my ward. I think everyone does. When things get unbearable for whatever reason, we send them to relatives, not to institutions.

I just cannot understand a man who would say what he said. Perhaps that's why I don't know many upper level priesthood holders... the level of Christlike behavior must decrease as they rise in importance? Perhaps that's why we don't see a whole lot of humility out of our lawyer/corporate executive/physician/etc. leaders?

[Guest]

....
Boot camp, whether it be Mormon or Baptist, can be an acceptable alternative to the CYA. Hope for desperate parents. However, in no case with which I am personally familiar, has the kid returned from boot camp cured; in all cases there was a high degree of recidivism to bad habits.

Given that (recidivism), don't you see that as evidence that these specific types of behavioral modification programs are a failure? And, if that's true, what possible reason would motivate parents to use such programs?

This link discusses why these types of programs fail. Interesting reading:

Boot Camps Don't Work [edited to fix link]

http://www.teenboardingschools.com/bootcamps.htm

[_truth dancer]

Hi Harmony,

Can you even imagine how your son would be if he was shipped off for a few years to "boot camp"? THANK goodness he has a supportive and loving family!

I wonder if the step dad ever regretted posting on this board. He obviously didn't regret sending his step son away for years.

I know many many LDS men. I don't know any... none... zip... nada... who would say something like that. Which probably explains why I don't know any LDS fathers who have abdicated the raising of a son or a step son to strangers in another state. I doubt the mothers would allow it.

We have had problem children here in my ward. I think everyone does. When things get unbearable for whatever reason, we send them to relatives, not to institutions.

I just cannot understand a man who would say what he said. Perhaps that's why I don't know many upper level priesthood holders... the level of Christlike behavior must decrease as they rise in importance? Perhaps that's why we don't see a whole lot of humility out of our lawyer/corporate executive/physician/etc. leaders?

My reaction to the letter was the same. I do not know of one father who would ever say such a thing about his son. Not one. LDS or no. I can't imagine such a thing actually. When I realized it was a step father it all made much more sense.

In my first brilliant, (smile) lost to cyber space post I wrote about the fact that virtually everyone I know in the field has the goal of keeping families together if at all possible. EVERYONE goes out of their way to support and strengthen families and only separates them under the most extreme cases. Even then the goal is to return the children as soon as possible. If it is not possible for the child to return to the family or extended family then a permanent home is sought. NEVER, without exception have I heard of any expert in the field hold to the idea that a child would best be served growing up in an institution. NEVER.

~td~

[_Inconceivable]

I agree with your posts, Harmony and TD.

I raise the question, what are the parents doing to re-evaluate and improve their approach to parenting while their children are reforming - whether they're standing in a corner wairing a rug or milking a cow?

Over the past 10 months, my wife and I have been engaging in a course that advertises a Total Transformation for our children. Dirty little secret is that it is all about changing the parent's behavioral approach.

It's a wonderful program by the way.

Understood. Ultimately, the child needs to step up and mature in spite of their parents. But wouldn't they be so much further ahead if the parent actually did it first?

by the way, I find the letter to DCP from Eric's (step?) dad indicative of two buddies that are now as smart as they'll ever be.

[_Inconceivable]

link:
Boot Camps Don't Work..

Welcome Fionn, can you fix the link? It currently sends me to the missing ozone layer.

[_Fionn]

Oops! Looks like I copied the wrong link. Try this one:

http://www.teenboardingschools.com/bootcamps.htm