First of all, I don't want to argue with you about this, Mr. Peterson. The various aspects that this situation brings out certainly make for an interesting discussion. It's just too bad that it pertains to at least two posters' real lives. That fact can get lost in the shuffle as others of us get absorbed into a general discussion about all the elements of this. I feel bad for both of you for the undoubted stress of it all.
Daniel Peterson wrote:Nightingale wrote:I think the crux of this and other similar occurrences here is that the poster (and especially DCP it seems) thinks that their intent is all that matters and that it is completely transparent to all readers, when this is certainly not the case.
When it's expressly posted, in blue, I think it ought to be not transparent, but highly visible.
Oh - at that point I was referring to the original post, where you apparently disclosed some RL information about GoodK's issues. I was trying to say (apparently not very clearly) that (I imagine) you wrote what you did perhaps thinking that it was so obviously untrue that every reader would instantly realize it was a test or a parody or a spoof or whatever term you want to use to indicate that it was not actual fact and that you had no malicious intent; therefore, because you intended none, none would be perceived by GoodK or any reader. (Sorry for long sentence).
I see that in your follow up correction or clarification you used blue ink and that to you that indicates emphasis. But I was referring to your first post, not the retraction. for what it's worth, though, while it may be obvious to
you that using a different-coloured font indicates emphasis, that is not necessarily perceived by others. Some people just like to use blue ink or red or orange and it doesn't indicate anything other than an individual's colour preference. I didn't realize there was any particular significance to your ink colour until you stated that there was.
Daniel Peterson wrote:Nightingale wrote:On DCP's side, I would hope that consideration for his friend, GoodK's father, would help him to back away from trying to hurt the son.
I have never,
ever, tried to hurt GoodK.
You want slander, Nightingale? You just wrote it.
Don't worry, though. I won't sue.
To be an absolute brat, let me just point out that it is impossible to "write"
slander so therefore I am completely innocent.
To be serious, though, as certainly this issue is, I believe I read a post you wrote that said you do want to hurt GoodK, at least financially. That could be a paraphrase - you may have said "I don't want to hurt GoodK" but then added something to the effect that you want to take it as far as you can, etc. which undoubtedly would hurt Grosskreutz financially, just as it would you (unless you have 100% coverage for free, which may be the case from another comment you made).
If you look again at my comment above, I did not say you did hurt Grosskreutz. It was a general comment and a general turn of phrase about something that may occur in the future as an outcome to this potential lawsuit. It's two completely different things.
Therefore, I have not committed libel, or slander even. I am innocent in three different ways.
Daniel Peterson wrote:Nightingale wrote:I would definitely not, as DCP suggested in another post, seek retribution against one-party-for-all-time for all past bad experiences and unresolved grievances as well as potential future clashes, more especially if said party were the son of a friend.
You seriously think that I should simply absorb any and all legal costs whenever anybody chooses to sue me? Do you realize how high they can be? Do you realize that anybody can sue anybody over anything? Do you realize that a person could be financially ruined simply by having to defend himself against lawsuits, even if none of them had any merit and even if he always "prevailed"?
No. I do not think that. But is it just to seek with one suit against a young man, who also happens to be the son of a friend, the definitive response to any and all past and future grievances and legal issues?
Yes. I am well aware of the high cost of obtaining legal help. I have been vastly hurt numerous times from lack of funds to enlist urgently-needed legal advice, not having a year's salary free to plunk down on the table just to launch an opening salvo.
Yes, I have heard that in America people are somewhat litigious. Our Canadian society is fast following suit (no pun intended).
I hope financial ruin would not be the outcome in that if a case is without merit a judge would see fit to give the innocent party a victory, with costs.
Daniel Peterson wrote:Nightingale wrote:I understand this may not be a satisfying approach in the short term but I would consider that peace of mind, positive use of energy, wise use of financial and other resources, happiness in life, etc are much more desirable and productive than years of wrangling over issues that may seem mountainous now but when compared to other things amount to little enough to waste life's time and resources on. Maybe taking a few steps back and getting a different perspective could help both sides.
Preserving my home, my life savings, and my childrens' inheritances and dissuading people from attempting to seize them seems to me a pretty good use of energy and resources, and a reasonably sure way of maintaining my peace of mind.
Well, obviously we are very different people. But too, I definitely understand that the remarks that were posted re a potential lawsuit against you would put you on high alert. I am somewhat surprised that you didn't retrench and regroup, trying to mitigage or at least protect yourself from that point on, instead of continuing to discuss the situation, which could possibly give more ammunition to the other side.
I was thinking, though, that your goals as stated above could still be achieved if you were to protect yourself legally (obtain counsel, make contingency plans, etc) while not inflaming the situation (by making counter-claims).
But I understand you have a different approach, I understand your self-preservation (including family) instincts kicked in, I understand that you are just plain sick and tired of the innumerable pinpricks and worse that are your daily lot due to your chosen environments. I still say, though, why roll it all up into one big ball and lob it against GoodK? I'm saying, if you must sue/counter-sue, can it just be about this discrete issue and not about everything else all rolled in together? (Rhetorical question really, as you have no need to explain yourself to me). It's just that that was the part of your comments that struck me. I understand the desire to react - I'm just saying that I, myself, and me would likely try to keep the bigger picture in mind. Obviously, that is a general comment, as are most of the others, and it's way different when it's you in the frame and it is affecting your actual life, rather than just an abstract discussion about pieces of this whole big puzzle.
I think that if you had quietly retrenched in the background (getting prepared but not counter-attacking) maybe this wouldn't have got so heated or so public. Maybe Grosskreutz would have reconsidered or have received legal advice to do so.
In any case, it's nobody's business, obviously, and the specific people involved are the ones who have to actually deal with all the fallout in their actual lives, as opposed to other participants here who just like to discuss some of the aspects of it. We can get caught up in the interesting details and aspects and forget about the real-life people involved. I do regret it if that occurs as usually I try to think of the person and hope for the best for them.
But then again, you guys like to post about it too so obviously we're going to read it and feel a desire to comment.
I hope it all works out for all sides. I agree with the poster/s who said that the main players are the ones who have to work it all out in real life and none of the rest of us can say what any party should or should not do.
But we'll definitely discuss it. At least from my side, it is not meant to be personal or intrusive. I bear nobody in any of this any ill will. To the contrary, I hope it defuses but at the same time that the issues that gave rise to it can be resolved, on both sides.