I was born and reared a Catholic, and from my earliest years "very religious". From a very early age I "sought communion" with God, whomever "he" or "she" might be. I had a great childhood, reared by loving parents who almost spoilt me (my brother would agree). I honour my mother and my father to this day, because they gave me freedom, and guiding principles for life. I can't even express in words how much I appreciate what they both did for me, to ensure that I had a happy and normal life. My father insisted that I go to Mass every Sunday, and dragged me out of bed at 5.30am. To this day, I respect what he did. At 14, he gave me a choice, and I chose to abandon the Church. It probably broke his heart, but he honoured the decision he gave me.
Six years later, I was a Mormon. My father must have wondered where he went wrong. He never even considered Mormonism as an alternative, yet when I was on my mssion, and wrote weekly letters, he wrote back encouraging me in the choice of my new life. All those rosaries, it must have seemed, were answered. His youngest son had "found God", the one he prayed for for so many years. Yet there was a sense of alienation, because in real life my father could not relate to Mormonism.
I'm writing this, if you'll excuse me, as a sort of belated appreciation to my parents. Catholicism wasn't perfect, but it gave me a great foundation for appreciating "spirituality", or a sense that there's more to life than what meets the human eye. There are values and principles that rise above "human nature", so to speak. In my teens I found much meaning in the message of St. Francis of Assisi:
Lord, make me an instrument of your peace,
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
where there is sadness, joy;
O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.
St. Francis of Assisi
And some of you may remember that great movie, "Brother Sun, Sister Moon". To be candid, I feel like I've lost many of those primary values in my encounter with Mormonism, which revealed a more "Pharisaic" side of Christianity. No, I will not be returning to Catholicism, or any religion, because to me it's all a "Paradise Lost". If I ever did make such a contemplation, I would return to the religion which my father brought me up in. Not because it's "easier", but because it seems so much more universal and tolerant, and more in accord with the "mind of God". (And it condemns polygamy.)
If I could ever pinpoint the root problem of Mormonism, I would say it's a failure to understand this: "I will have mercy, and not sacrifice."
And I'm afraid to say that in my aging years I'm inclined to think that Mormonism isn't a religion - it's a Pharisaic disease.
Thank you Dad, for all you did for me. I love you.
(Now I await the spitology and crapology of Mopologists, further attesting to the utter hypocrisy and failure of Modern Mormonism.)