I believe that the secret of a happy life is to have had many failures and disappointments, many challenges, to have struggled financially, worked very hard, experienced the trials and joys of raising children, and at times wondered if you could go on with life.
It's like running a marathon. I remember the first marathon I ever ran. Too ambitious, I confidently strode out at about 5:30 per mile pace, only to hit the infamous "wall" at about 18 miles. I'd read about this, but never knew it would be that painful. My legs felt like they had bricks tied to them. But, determined to finish, I walked and jogged the rest of the way, finishing way off my set goal time. I was too proud to hop off the road and accept a lift back.
Such is life. The way it has been going for me for the last two years, finally living the way I've always wanted, free, and after almost a lifetime of struggle (over 30 years), I kind of wonder if it's too good to be true, and there's some tidal wave coming at me I don't see (which will, I am sure, be much to Will's delight). Even though I live alone, I laugh a lot (the neighbours must think I'm mad), and even when working I enjoy it (though the Saturday nights I could do without). Amazingly, I actually look forward to work, even though I work in a modest occupation that isn't accompanied by fame and glory, and I wonder how many can say the same. There has never been a time in my life I looked forward to work.
I've actually thought often of the following poem:
“I asked God for strength that I might achieve.
I was made weak that I might learn humbly to obey.
I asked for health that I might do greater things.
I was given infirmity that I might do better things.
I asked for riches that I might be happy.
I was given poverty that I might be wise.
I asked for power that I might have the praise of men.
I was given weakness that I might feel the need of God.
I asked for all things that I might enjoy life. I was given life that I might enjoy all things.
I got nothing that I asked for, but everything I hoped for.
Almost despite myself, my unspoken prayers were answered.
I am, among all men, most richly blessed.”
Judging by the way life is, I'm probably in for many more trials and heartaches before I die. But for the moment I'm enjoying my "reward" for a very difficult life thus far. I regret nothing, because everything, good and evil, has made me stronger and better. Perhaps I could have chosen fame and money, but I'm quite sure that's not the secret of happiness.
Yes, I am happy. But happiness comes at a price, it doesn't just happen, and it certainly doesn't happen overnight. I've taken much inspiration, too, over the years, from Desiderata:
Go placidly amid the noise and the haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible, without surrender,
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even to the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons;
they are vexatious to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain or bitter,
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs,
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals,
and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love,
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment,
it is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be.
And whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life,
keep peace in your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.
(Perhaps Max Ehrmann and I have had very similar experiences. Typically, the Desiderata only achieved fame after his death.)
(And my apologies for those who feel this thread is too "sentimental". For those who don't, I'd like to hear if you are happy, and what makes you so. If you're unhappy, you can talk about that too. And my apologies for the length of this post, was wasn't originally intended.)
