The apostate dance

[_JohnStuartMill]

I thought I'd click on John's post and join in a new naughty version of the Bus Stop or something.

Rats.

Guess it's back to apostate dancing with myself.

KA

Not if Packer has anything to say about it.

[_krose]

I know what you mean by someone's demeanor changing. I was getting a haircut a while back, and after the girl told me where she was from, I mentioned that my brother taught at the seminary for her high school. I could see her struggling to come up with a faithful-LDS oriented subject, so I volunteered that I was not a believer myself. She immediately relaxed and made a joke about how the chapel roof might collapse if she were to enter one now, especially with her several piercings and tattoos. That was it for church-related talk, but the conversation was relaxed and pleasant after that.

To answer the question, I think the main reason it's hard to be honest about doubts is that we fear being judged unjustly. Also, we don't want to hurt our loved ones' feelings.

I was never open with my parents about my apostasy, and I hoped they wouldn't find out. It certainly wasn't because of shame or guilt, although some assumed that. It was because I wanted to spare them the anguish of their own self judgement, thinking that they had failed at their most important job as good Mormon parents because their son would not be with them in the hereafter.

[_beastie]

When I was struggling with my faith, I talked to several members I trusted about my "issues". I was surprised to find out two of those people didn't believe in the church at all, other than as a "good way to raise kids". Both had believing spouses and remained active to appease the spouse. I would never have known or guessed, because they would likely never share that information with true believers.

[_Danna]

I was expecting a berating when I 'came out', and held off as long as possible until blurting out something like "it's no use quoting the Book of Mormon at me when I don't believe it". Rather than a tongue lashing, Mum gasped, fled from the room, and spent the rest of my visit on her knees praying in the bedroom. After about an hour I just left. I have two gay siblings. I don't think they had as hard a time telling our mother as I did! She thinks they are just going through a phase.

[_DarkHelmet]

The biggest problem with outing yourself to family and friends is you are admitting to them that you are a follower of satan.

[_moksha]

The Church does allow divergent opinions as long as you keep them to yourselves. However, it would be liberating if all were allowed to express their own take on things without fear of retribution. Even with that freedom of expression, the Church would still be able to maintain its orthodoxy with a gentle insistence rather than a muzzle.