Desolating Scourge has LDS Origins....Swine Flu?

[_Nightlion]

Utah has the highest per capita death rate! It could be thought of as originating here if this continues.

Could the H1?1 (swine flu) virus end up fulfilling the D&C 112 plague that begins at my house and from my house shall go forth?

It is meant to hit the LDS between their blasphemous eyes for saying that they know the Lord and doing all things people who should know the Lord do, like enter the House of God, when in fact they know nothing and all their works are counted a blasphemy worthy to be removed from off the holy land. D&C 84 speaks to it as well.

Will this be the plague already that might empty the earth of inhabitants? If the most robust among us succumb then I suggest a spiritual defense of being wrought upon and cleansed by the baptism of fire and of the Holy Ghost. Such are worthy to remain upon the land of Zion.

I could help with that. Seriously, there are impediments that people unskilled with the best of intentions miss.

[_Doctor Steuss]

I like the smell of my own flatus.

[_Nightlion]

I like the smell of my own flatus.

Satan's steering commitee no doubt.

[_silentkid]

I like the smell of my own flatus.

BRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAFFFFFFFFFFF!

But, to stay on topic, the swine flu sucks. It reminds me of when Mormons were scared of small pox vaccinations and people avoided Utah because of it. Ouch. I'm glad that Mormons believe in vaccinations now. That's good.

[_Ray A]

Experts are also reporting another possible worldwide devastation awaiting us:

I went to a dinner party last night, where I and other guests enjoyed copious amounts of alcohol. I awoke this morning not feeling well, with what could be described as flu-like symptoms; headache, nausea, chills, sore eyes etc.

From the results of some initial testing, I have unfortunately tested positive for what experts are now calling Wine Flu. This debilitating condition is very serious-and it appears this is not an isolated case. Reports are flooding in from all around the neighbourhood of others diagnosed with Wine Flu.

To anyone that starts to exhibit the aforementioned tell-tale signs, experts are recommending a cup of tea and a bit of a lie down. However, should your condition worsen, you should immediately hire a DVD and take some Nurofen [Nurofen seems to be the only drug available that has been proven to help combat this unusual type of flu].

Others are reporting a McDonald's Happy Meal can also help in some cases.

Wine Flu does not need to be life threatening, and if treated early can be iradicated within a 24-48 hour period. If not, then further application of the original liquid in similar quantities to the original dose has been shown to do the trick.

Good luck!!

The first Mormon case reported, apparently, reported goes back to 1830, one Josph Smith, Jnr.

[_John Larsen]

I like the smell of my own flatus.

Hey, it's the bold and triumphant return of Dr. Steuss! Welcome back.

[_harmony]

Utah has the highest per capita death rate! It could be thought of as originating here if this continues.

Could the H1?1 (swine flu) virus end up fulfilling the D&C 112 plague that begins at my house and from my house shall go forth?

It is meant to hit the LDS between their blasphemous eyes for saying that they know the Lord and doing all things people who should know the Lord do, like enter the House of God, when in fact they know nothing and all their works are counted a blasphemy worthy to be removed from off the holy land. D&C 84 speaks to it as well.

Will this be the plague already that might empty the earth of inhabitants? If the most robust among us succumb then I suggest a spiritual defense of being wrought upon and cleansed by the baptism of fire and of the Holy Ghost. Such are worthy to remain upon the land of Zion.

I could help with that. Seriously, there are impediments that people unskilled with the best of intentions miss.

You might want to check your local health department and find out how to avoid the flu. It's not that hard, and doesn't require an exorcism. I'm not sure Utah can claim it started there, and why would they want to be responsible for a flu? Nothing remotely exotic in the flu.... just diarrhea, projectile vomiting, and a weight loss of at least 5 pounds.

[_Mercury]

Utah has the highest per capita death rate! It could be thought of as originating here if this continues.

Could the H1?1 (swine flu) virus end up fulfilling the D&C 112 plague that begins at my house and from my house shall go forth?

It is meant to hit the LDS between their blasphemous eyes for saying that they know the Lord and doing all things people who should know the Lord do, like enter the House of God, when in fact they know nothing and all their works are counted a blasphemy worthy to be removed from off the holy land. D&C 84 speaks to it as well.

Will this be the plague already that might empty the earth of inhabitants? If the most robust among us succumb then I suggest a spiritual defense of being wrought upon and cleansed by the baptism of fire and of the Holy Ghost. Such are worthy to remain upon the land of Zion.

I could help with that. Seriously, there are impediments that people unskilled with the best of intentions miss.

Comedy GOLD!!!

[_Doctor Steuss]

Hey, it's the bold and triumphant return of Dr. Steuss! Welcome back.

I like to walk amongst the apostates from time to time. Makes me feel good – kind of like licking a goiter.


Nightlion,
I dusted my feet on a bovine, who was friends with a swine, who once got sick while visiting Mexico. So, logically, the LDS are safe from the scourge (and of course, this is also irrefutable proof to the existence of Jesus of Nazareth).

[_Nightlion]

Hey, it's the bold and triumphant return of Dr. Steuss! Welcome back.

I like to walk amongst the apostates from time to time. Makes me feel good – kind of like licking a goiter.


Nightlion,
I dusted my feet on a bovine, who was friends with a swine, who once got sick while visiting Mexico. So, logically, the LDS are safe from the scourge (and of course, this is also irrefutable proof to the existence of Jesus of Nazareth).

...ibid...