mikwut wrote:I entered a discussion on the MAD board regarding the voluntariness of our beliefs. Those of you who I have discussed this with know that I am a proponent that our beliefs are involuntary. If we put that actual discussion on the shelf and assume beliefs (particularly spiritual beliefs, i.e. existence of God, afterlife, faith, repentance etc...) are involuntary then I ask the non-believers what world picture would you WANT or desire to be the most accurate towards reality if you could indeed just will yourself to a belief in it? Or, rather, would you choose the atheism (if you so hold to such) if you could choose otherwise?
my regards,
mikwut
I agree with you in terms of losing faith. I was unable to overcome the knowledge I had of church history to retain a belief in all the claims of the church. My brain won't allow me to do the mental gymnastics that apologists can. I did not seek or choose to lose my religion. In fact, it was just the opposite.
I was desperate to save what I loved and treasured.
It was my entire idenity and future. My life plan was shattered. It was the most devestating painful experience of my life and I wouldn't wish it upon anyone. I don't see how anyone could think
that was voluntary. I was terrified to lose my eternal family and knew the consequences would be great if I didn't find a way to keep believing.
I tried everything to reconvert myself back into believing as I once did...
It wasn't possible.
I know this is a contradiction, but when I look back at my experiences as a TBM, I can see how I voluntarily created the testimony I thought I had. I felt as if God was withholding His love from me for not answering my prayers in gaining a sure witness that others had. I did everything in my power to gain a testimony and began to see and feel things as spiritual
communication from God that were probably emotion.
However, there were pressures on me to conform and having been raised as a BIC indoctrinated Mormon, that made most of my beliefs on God involuntary.
If I could choose what kind of God to believe in.....
One that follows the principles taught by Jesus Christ.
One that unconditionally loves His children and finds a way to reconcile all of us back to Him.
One that gives personal revelation of how I should be living, instead of requiring obedience to the opinions of "Prophets."
A God who does not command atrocities and harmful immoral behavior in violation of His eternal laws. (i.e. polygamy, Patriarchy, racism, genocide, etc.)
A God who does not require ordinances for eternal salvation making that the whole purpose for a restored religion.
A God who does not require a lifetime of performing these ordinances for dead people, but instead allows me to devote my life in Christ through compassionate service for
the living.
A God who either intervenes and saves us
all from evil, or doesn't intervene at all.
A God who is not confusing.
Basically, what I believe now. I can't believe in a God that is anything else. My mind and heart won't allow me to.
I could never choose atheism (I struggle with avoiding it and understand how others don't believe). I would have to create God if I lost all faith.