Questions for former and inactive church members(LDS).

[_Brackite]

What were your reasons for leaving church? How were you able to overcome the fear of "what if"?

Just curious.

Hi Pirate,

I came to the conclusion that the LDS Church is not the one and only true Church upon the face of the earth a few Years ago (At least Not for me). It was mostly Polygamy and the Book of Abraham that did it for me. And I have right after that; overcome my fear of what if. I haven’t been inside an LDS Church Building for about a Year now. There is also a Personal reason why I don't go inside an LDS Church Building, at least Not on Sundays anymore. I know that going within an LDS Church is Not for me anymore. I still definitely consider myself a DNA Mormon. Only now, I attend the LDS Church through Web Site Pages, Message Boards, and Chat-rooms. I do Not Plan to attend an LDS Church Service on Sundays anymore, until the day I die. And I will still be a DNA Mormon, until the day I die.

[_Phouchg]

I left the church because I choose to be a member of a different church.

I also wanted to smoke, drink, gamble, cheat on my wife and kick puppies. Happy now?



fook

[_Some Schmo]

I left for two main reasons:

- I never bought that a 14 year old was telling the truth when he said he walked into the forest and saw god (and it's hard to understand why anyone else would)

- Being Mormon was always an embarrassment and source of shame; even if it were true, I wanted no part of it

The fact that I've found thousands of other reasons to not be Mormon is kind of irrelevant, since I found them long after deciding the church wasn't for me.

[_silentkid]

I left because I could no longer rationalize the magical elements of the founding of Mormonism. Angel visitations, seer stones, golden plates, and the "miraculous" events (Ammon lopping off arms, Jaredite barges, Liahona, etc.) described in the Book of Mormon no longer made any sense to me. As a scientist, I rely on empiricism and logic. I don't depend on faith and claims to authority as much as I did when I was young.

"What ifs" don't bother me.

[_Jonah]

But I can honestly say that I never had any still small voice, no heart felt impressions, no spiritual witness telling me that it was all true. I just blindly believe.

My experience as well. The closest I ever came to a "spiritual witness" was in the temple. While enacting slitting my throat, something whispered in my head "You ARE in a cult". I was also bothered that payment (tithing) was required to receive the "blessings" of the temple.

With much research I discovered MANY things about church history and doctrine that I wasn't taught in seminary, sunday school, priesthood meetings, etc. After 40 years as a member, my church foundation was crumbling fast. "Just have faith" wasn't working for me anymore. The final straw came when I witnessed first-hand local church leaders coddle and support a priesthood holding pediphile over his victims. These men, the "Lord's annointed", were despicable.

"What if?" .....I don't worry about that. I am a good father, a good friend, and a good person. I am loving, caring, and use my time and talents to uplift and provide for others. My deeds far outshine those of my TBM friends. IF there is a God, and that is not good enough for him, then SCREW HIM!! I wouldn't want to be around his kind if that were the case.

[_The Dude]

What were your reasons for leaving church? How were you able to overcome the fear of "what if"?

Just curious.

I stopped believing for reasons similar to what SilentKid described. Faith is the foundation of the Church and faith stopped being enough when the more I learned the more troubles I saw. There is also the fact that faith is the foundation of any religion, so why should I have kept on being a Mormon instead of becoming something else that didn't have so many troubles... should I just stay Mormon because I was born that way? Seems like a silly reason for a mature person.

So I gradually stopped believing, but nobody knew about it for at least a year. Not even my wife, really.

Then when I was about to become a father, I thought about how much children rely on their parents to teach them about the world. And I thought, "If I keep letting everybody think I believe, then my kids are going to grow up thinking that too, and then someday the poop is going to hit the fan when they find out I haven't really believed for all their lives." And I didn't want my innocent children to ever start believing the fairy-tales of Mormonism. So I told my parents and my wife that I didn't believe, that I was no longer going to try to have faith, and I wasn't going through the motions anymore. What a huge relief! I consider that as the time when I really stopped being a Mormon.

The only "what if" was how it would affect my wife and my relationships with parents and relatives, who were all good Mormons. It was tough for a while. My wife soon admitted that she had a hard time believing as well, and by the time our son was born, she'd told her family the same thing I told mine. It was hardest on the people who still had strong testimonies, my parents and brothers and sisters. But they survived. They got over it. Now twelve years later, I finally see one of my brothers becoming inactive as well. Makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

[_beastie]

I struggled with doubts for a long time as I read more and more about early church history. However, the reason I finally stopped believing is that God didn't answer my prayer the way the LDS church insists he will. During the entire period my faith was wavering, I kept praying that HF would tell me the church was "true". Or that Joseph Smith was a "true prophet". Or that the church had the sole authority of the priesthood of JC. I kept thinking of different ways to ask the question in the hopes that He would finally answer YES to one of them.

But it didn't happen. One day while I was out running, and internally thinking and praying about all of this, I suddenly realized that I had the answer all along. The answer was no. It just took me a while to be able to overcome my fear enough to accept it.

The process took me so long that by the time I left, there really was no doubt left in my mind that the LDS church was just a man-made church like all the others. So I never once felt any fear after leaving, except for the impact it might have on my family.

I consider the chance that the LDS church really is what it claims to be to be about on par with the chance that Scientology is actually teaching true events with frozen aliens being dropped in volcanoes. I'm not worried about Scientology really being true, either.

[_JonasS]

You read my mind, I just made a post about overcoming the "what if?" question.

I left because of the lies about everything from church history, how tithing is used, as well as how members are treated. Not to mention the Book of Mormon problems, Book of Abraham problems, JST problems, etc. Combined you begin to realize it doesn't add up.

Can you go into more detail please? If you haven't already.

Pirate, you mentioned in another thread that you were contemplating serving a mission. Are you still thinking of going? Are you asking this question to help understand how to reactivate inactive members, or are you having doubts yourself?

I was contemplating going on a mission. I was very much set on it, however my mind began to build up with questions again. I tried to push them away and ignore them, but they get quite numerous that one cannot ignore them any longer. Some things teachers at church said didn't quite add up and so I questioned them on some things and they couldn't respond. No doubt I will be having another talk with bishop about contraversialism when I go back. My mind just doesn't want to settle on the gospel, I have tried over and over again. Perhaps it just isn't for me.

warm fuzziness

I have never had the warm fuzziness everyone talks about. I get goosebumps and shivers instead and certainly not about the gospel.

Jonas,

I've never been the superstitious type. I never, ever had the "what if" fear you're talking about. I just don't think, deep down, I ever bought into any of it.

The "what if" fear is one of the worst fear I know, because there is no surety.

when the number of things I disagreed with implied a dishonest of character to continue my complicity by being in the pews.

I understand that. Pehaps I lack integrity in some sense. I just don't know what to believe. I go around in circles mainly because I want to believe.

I generally believed in the church my whole life. Why not, I was surrounded 360 by the culture. I had no reason to doubt.

But I can honestly say that I never had any still small voice, no heart felt impressions, no spiritual witness telling me that it was all true. I just blindly believed.

Then I found the internet.

It was a tremdous relief, after I found out the truth, to know that I was not "broken". I am normal and I am ok.

What truth? How do you know it's truth? Why did you think you were "broken"

1. How bad is this "what if" scenario, anyway? If you don't believe it, and you follow your conscience and attempt to be a good person in your own way, it seems that whatever kingdom of glory you are assigned to through Mormon doctrine would be a place you would probably be more comfortable in anyway. I know I would never be able to handle living with self-righteous, mentally homogeneous Utah-Mormon dittoheads for eternity in the CK.
I guess you have to feel it to understand. It's not due to disbelief. If one purely disbelieved then there would be no fear. It is when one is unsure that the what if problem comes to hand. Take this scenario, (one of my biggest issues) If I believe in the Gospel and it's wrong, I will go to Hell for believing in and following something wrong yet if I don't believe and don't follow and it's right then I still go to hell and don't achieve my full potential. To me, I always views Heaven as being with Heavenly Father beside him as he sits in his thrown. To feel the peace of his love for eternity. Yet, if I don't believe I might never recieve this. One question I has was, if we attain the highest degree of celestial glory, we can become Gods, which means we have our own universe etc, but if that is so, then we are not with God, we are not with our families because we are spending all our time being God to the multiple kingdoms we create. Perhaps when Gods these can work similtaniously. Even though LDS doctrine doesn't really believe in "Hell" persey, it is still part of us and unconsciously within us to thing something terrible is going to happen if we change path.

2. If you are to fear the "what if" of the Mormon scenario, you have to consider whether you have any more reason to fear it than any other religious scenario. If not, then you can either choose to be paralyzed in fear of offending any of Jehovah, Mary, Allah, Elohim, Vishnu, Ra, Thor, etc. or simply decide that the microscopic risk involved in offending any of these potentially extant deities isn't worth taking seriously if it is going to detract from your peace of mind and quality of life.

?

Other religious scenarios are irrelevent because one is not manipulated by those religions, to a person such as my self, they are somewhat meaningless although I repect them. I do believe that perhaps the are true in their own right, but they haven't got a hold of my soul and of my life and who I am. They don't affect my everyday life and choices.

Am still active mainly to help with the social structure where we live. Paul Dunn and his lies. Marion D. Hanks being a wife beater and the police covering it up. Gordon B. Hinckley and Spencer Kimball being duped by Mark Hoffman. The 'necessity' of plural marriage as a commandment of God and then running away from it to preserve property and money. Joseph looking into a hat at a rock instead of the 'Urim and Thummim'. The major Bank fraud used to entice members to invest in his 'anti-banking society'.(This one alone should have landed him in prison for a long time) Joseph sending Orson Hyde to Palestine and then nailing Orsons wife as 'his own' in Orsons absense. Getting sealed to women before Elijah returned the keys to sealing in Celestial marriage. Over 2Billion$$$ for a damn shopping mall while failing to account for even the smallest of donations to us, the members. Sweeping sexual predators in Church positions under the rug with many of them not even losing their callings/church positions. Felix Urioste and his 'husband' getting married in an LDS Temple and no one got any impression that somthing was wrong. Danite raiding bands. Zelph, the Great White Lamanite warrior. Adams altar containing stones with fossils in them. Members who still invest in Bishop Coyles 'Dream Mine'.

The list goes on with Prop 8, hate, persecuting others, making laws in Utah to restrict other religions in various ways. The Catholic Church being the 'great and abominable'.

As I wrote, our activity is mainly social. Quitting or getting tossed and the shunning would put us in a poor position in too many ways. Maybe we are cowards but we still have to live in the society for a few more years before retirement and moving is reality.

And, I am one who posts a bit and leaves due to people like Danny Peterson. He would have fit well in Germany in 1939.

I see.

I had a question at church on Sunday, I wasn't allowed to ask it, they ignore me sometimes because they know what I am like. The lesson was about Abraham(I think) and how he was off to sacrifice his only son. My point was that before his son was born, he was told that his seed would be prosperous and he was like, my wife is barran and can't have kids and God gave her a kid. If I were him and God gave me a child when my wife were barran and told me my seed would be prosperous, then I would know that God wouldn't make me sacrifice my only son.

Hi Pirate,

I came to the conclusion that the LDS Church is not the one and only true Church upon the face of the earth a few Years ago (At least Not for me). It was mostly Polygamy and the Book of Abraham that did it for me. And I have right after that; overcome my fear of what if. I haven’t been inside an LDS Church Building for about a Year now. There is also a Personal reason why I don't go inside an LDS Church Building, at least Not on Sundays anymore. I know that going within an LDS Church is Not for me anymore. I still definitely consider myself a DNA Mormon. Only now, I attend the LDS Church through Web Site Pages, Message Boards, and Chat-rooms. I do Not Plan to attend an LDS Church Service on Sundays anymore, until the day I die. And I will still be a DNA Mormon, until the day I die.

I find that I feel refreshed and better when I go to church and when I don't things are duller. :/

I left the church because I choose to be a member of a different church.

I also wanted to smoke, drink, gamble, cheat on my wife and kick puppies. Happy now?



fook

Hahahaha that's funny.

I left for two main reasons:

- I never bought that a 14 year old was telling the truth when he said he walked into the forest and saw god (and it's hard to understand why anyone else would)

- Being Mormon was always an embarrassment and source of shame; even if it were true, I wanted no part of it

The fact that I've found thousands of other reasons to not be Mormon is kind of irrelevant, since I found them long after deciding the church wasn't for me.

I could buy that a 14 y/o saw God. I have hallucinated all my life. :)

I left because I could no longer rationalize the magical elements of the founding of Mormonism. Angel visitations, seer stones, golden plates, and the "miraculous" events (Ammon lopping off arms, Jaredite barges, Liahona, etc.) described in the Book of Mormon no longer made any sense to me. As a scientist, I rely on empiricism and logic. I don't depend on faith and claims to authority as much as I did when I was young.

"What ifs" don't bother me.

As a Physicist, logic doesn't apply for me in my opinion

But I can honestly say that I never had any still small voice, no heart felt impressions, no spiritual witness telling me that it was all true. I just blindly believe.

My experience as well. The closest I ever came to a "spiritual witness" was in the temple. While enacting slitting my throat, something whispered in my head "You ARE in a cult". I was also bothered that payment (tithing) was required to receive the "blessings" of the temple.

With much research I discovered MANY things about church history and doctrine that I wasn't taught in seminary, sunday school, priesthood meetings, etc. After 40 years as a member, my church foundation was crumbling fast. "Just have faith" wasn't working for me anymore. The final straw came when I witnessed first-hand local church leaders coddle and support a priesthood holding pediphile over his victims. These men, the "Lord's annointed", were despicable.

"What if?" .....I don't worry about that. I am a good father, a good friend, and a good person. I am loving, caring, and use my time and talents to uplift and provide for others. My deeds far outshine those of my TBM friends. IF there is a God, and that is not good enough for him, then SCREW HIM!! I wouldn't want to be around his kind if that were the case.

.


You make sense.

I stopped believing for reasons similar to what SilentKid described. Faith is the foundation of the Church and faith stopped being enough when the more I learned the more troubles I saw. There is also the fact that faith is the foundation of any religion, so why should I have kept on being a Mormon instead of becoming something else that didn't have so many troubles... should I just stay Mormon because I was born that way? Seems like a silly reason for a mature person.

So I gradually stopped believing, but nobody knew about it for at least a year. Not even my wife, really.

Then when I was about to become a father, I thought about how much children rely on their parents to teach them about the world. And I thought, "If I keep letting everybody think I believe, then my kids are going to grow up thinking that too, and then someday the poop is going to hit the fan when they find out I haven't really believed for all their lives." And I didn't want my innocent children to ever start believing the fairy-tales of Mormonism. So I told my parents and my wife that I didn't believe, that I was no longer going to try to have faith, and I wasn't going through the motions anymore. What a huge relief! I consider that as the time when I really stopped being a Mormon.

The only "what if" was how it would affect my wife and my relationships with parents and relatives, who were all good Mormons. It was tough for a while. My wife soon admitted that she had a hard time believing as well, and by the time our son was born, she'd told her family the same thing I told mine. It was hardest on the people who still had strong testimonies, my parents and brothers and sisters. But they survived. They got over it. Now twelve years later, I finally see one of my brothers becoming inactive as well. Makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

I have no family to worry about. Just my soul. I haven't reached a conclusion. Perhaps I would have to tell you all some stuff about myself for you to understand which I really don't want to do right now. It's just confusing really.

I struggled with doubts for a long time as I read more and more about early church history. However, the reason I finally stopped believing is that God didn't answer my prayer the way the LDS church insists he will. During the entire period my faith was wavering, I kept praying that HF would tell me the church was "true". Or that Joseph Smith was a "true prophet". Or that the church had the sole authority of the priesthood of JC. I kept thinking of different ways to ask the question in the hopes that He would finally answer YES to one of them.

But it didn't happen. One day while I was out running, and internally thinking and praying about all of this, I suddenly realized that I had the answer all along. The answer was no. It just took me a while to be able to overcome my fear enough to accept it.

The process took me so long that by the time I left, there really was no doubt left in my mind that the LDS church was just a man-made church like all the others. So I never once felt any fear after leaving, except for the impact it might have on my family.

I consider the chance that the LDS church really is what it claims to be to be about on par with the chance that Scientology is actually teaching true events with frozen aliens being dropped in volcanoes. I'm not worried about Scientology really being true, either.

I was doing ok until I was in an institute lesson and the teacher pretty much said that without faith heaven wouldn't exist, which meant to me, without faith God wouldn't exist and therefore the Gospel only exists because people have faith it does which then must mean that the gospel cannot exist as a truth regardless of our views and there fore if I don't believe it then it doesn't exist. The problem is, if I deny the holy ghost that I have been taught of after recieving a knowledge of it, then I will go to outer darkness with satan, even if that doesn't exist. Although outer darkness suggests nothingness which then could exist without the gopel.

[_JonasS]

PS beatie, you don't get the answer until the trial of your faith, that is, you have to tell yourself the answer is yes in order to recieve the answer as yes. I know what you mean. I questioned the church for years and never really recieved an answer until I was at a low point where I had lost all faith. It was coming back that made me feel better and brought light back into my life.

This is why I am so unsure.

[_krose]

For me it was just a matter of finally accepting that the promised 'testimony' was just not going to happen, given how hard I had worked trying to get it, both as a missionary and before going (also afterward for a while).

I can't take Pascal's Wager seriously because it's not a binary choice. I would have to start worrying "what if" any of the many other belief systems turned out to be true.