Scottie wrote:Seem like there is a bit more to this story.
I'm sure that everyone was all gung ho, ready to come and then suddenly EVERYONE changed their minds. Uh huh. Real life works that way, huh?
I liked one of the suggestions. Do a ring ceremony.
I'm not sure why more LDS couples don't do this. Have a civil wedding, then get sealed later. Everyone wins.
I used to like this idea but having attended several ring ceremonies, I would NEVER advise an LDS bride to use a Mormon leader in conducting the ritual. Every time I have been to one, the language was highly offensive…….. some implicitly degrading non temple marriage but most explicitly. It comes across as very pompous and arrogant to non members or even Mormons who are married to a non member when LDS give a lecture to the audience on how superior their covenants are in comparison to those who are only married until death. Those comments assume all the people who are not temple married do not value their vows and believe they will never see each other in the next life. That is a gross distortion of how non LDS view their marriages. “Til death do you part” only means that they are free to marry again after the spouse dies and not the way Mormons continue to misinterpret the vow. All the non LDS couples I know who are a believer on some level, fully expect to see and be with their loved ones in heaven. Ultimately the only distinction between a temple marriage and non temple, is a belief in sex with your spouse (or spouses) in the afterlife.
I would also warn LDS brides who choose a civil wedding to never use an LDS member unless you have control over the wording of the ceremony. My sister used our Stake President when she married a non member and it was the most uncomfortable downer of a wedding I have ever been to. It felt like he was chastising them the whole ceremony. He kept stressing how this wedding was only for time and will not be valid in the hereafter until she makes the right decision for a Celestial marriage. It was very inappropriate language, especially considering that the grooms entire family had been married outside of the LDS temple. In some ways it felt like we were at a funeral. My TBM side was very disappointed at her choice and my mother felt like a failure so for them it was a sad day.
One of the most offensive modern day talks that stayed with me was by
Elder Nelson on temple marriage. I cringed for all the part member families out there when he compared non temple marriages to shopping on the clearance rack.
I wasn’t alone in my feelings.
Here’s a few of the most offensive quotes that struck me:
The importance of choice may be illustrated by a homespun concept that came to mind one day when I was shopping in a large retail store. I call it “patterns of the shopper.” As shopping is part of our daily life, these patterns may be familiar.
Wise shoppers study their options thoroughly before they make a selection. They focus primarily on the quality and durability of a desired product. They want the very best. In contrast, some shoppers look for bargains, and others may splurge, only to learn later—much to their dismay—that their choice did not endure well. And sadly, there are those rare individuals who cast aside their personal integrity and steal what they want. We call them shoplifters.
The patterns of the shopper may be applied to the topic of marriage. A couple in love can choose a marriage of the highest quality or a lesser type that will not endure. Or they can choose neither and brazenly steal what they want as “marital shoplifters.”
This is a silly analogy. As a bargain shopper I get the same quality name brands on the clearance rack for more than half the price. Wait…….I guess it does make sense in the context that members have to pay tithing to enter the temple. ;)
On occasion, I read in a newspaper obituary of an expectation that a recent death has reunited that person with a deceased spouse, when, in fact, they did not choose the eternal option. Instead, they opted for a marriage that was valid only as long as they both should live. Heavenly Father had offered them a supernal gift, but they refused it. And in rejecting the gift, they rejected the Giver of the gift.
As with the patterns of the shopper, we may choose celestial marriage or lesser alternatives. Some marital options are cheap, some are costly, and some are cunningly crafted by the adversary. Beware of his options; they always breed misery!
The best choice is a celestial marriage. Thankfully, if a lesser choice has previously been made, a choice can now be made to upgrade it to the best choice. That requires a mighty change of heart and a permanent personal upgrade. Blessings so derived are worth all efforts made.
