The perpetual erection of the Mormon god

[_Calculus Crusader]

Joseph Smith described the ithuphallic character labeled 7 as follows:

"Represents God sitting upon his throne, revealing through the heavens the grand Key-words of the Priesthood; as, also, the sign of the Holy Ghost unto Abraham, in the form of a dove."

This is in keeping with Mormon theology, which speculates that the Mormon god has countless wives. How else could the Mormon god service his celestial harem if he were not perpetually erect? Also, Joseph Smith wrote that the script labeled 18 "will be given in the own due time of the Lord."

Well, that time is upon us. According to Egyptologists, the script reads:

"I am Djabty in the house of Benben in Heliopolis, so exalted and glorious. [I am] copulating bull without equal. [I am] that mighty god in the house of Benben of Heliopolis... that might god..."

Clearly, this is a prophetic reference to Joseph Smith.

[_RockSlider]

I've heard its important to see a doctor for any erection lasting longer than a few hours?

[_Yoda]

I've heard its important to see a doctor for any erection lasting longer than a few hours?

It keep going and going and going....

[_Uncle Dale]

...service his celestial harem
...

More importantly -- if Eloheim's "spirit children" are conceived in the Pre-existence by
biological means, how often do such conceptions occur?

Or -- in other words -- taking the oldest person on earth's birthdate, as a starting point --
how many conceptions were necessary to produce the present population of this planet?

Let's say the population is 6.8 billion today, and that the oldest living person is 115 years.
Not counting "spirit children" waiting to be born, and "spirit children" who have lived and
died on earth since 1894, we can simply divide 6.8 billion conceptions by 115 years, to
obtain the round number of __________???? per year.

Any math fans in the audience?

UD

ps -- Assuming of course that every divine copulation produces a single conception.

[_moksha]

I've heard its important to see a doctor for any erection lasting longer than a few hours?

When only skin and bones are involved, it would be like a desiccated mummy. Breakage would be the main worry. If ectoplasm is involved, then worry of this four hour barrier are insubstantial.

.

[_moksha]

I've heard its important to see a doctor for any erection lasting longer than a few hours?

When only skin and bones are involved, it would be like a desiccated mummy. Breakage would be the main worry. If ectoplasm is involved, then worry of this four hour barrier are insubstantial.

.

[_bcspace]

Joseph Smith described the ithuphallic character labeled 7 as follows:

"Ithyphallic" is a term sometimes used by anthropologists as a fudge factor when they don't know what they are talking about.

"I am Djabty in the house of Benben in Heliopolis, so exalted and glorious. [I am] copulating bull without equal. [I am] that mighty god in the house of Benben of Heliopolis... that might god..."

Clearly, this is a prophetic reference to Joseph Smith.

I think you're just jealous. by the way, what children have you come up with or were all these women sterile?

[_harmony]

Joseph Smith described the ithuphallic character labeled 7 as follows:

"Ithyphallic" is a term sometimes used by anthropologists as a fudge factor when they don't know what they are talking about.

"I am Djabty in the house of Benben in Heliopolis, so exalted and glorious. [I am] copulating bull without equal. [I am] that mighty god in the house of Benben of Heliopolis... that might god..."

Clearly, this is a prophetic reference to Joseph Smith.

I think you're just jealous. by the way, what children have you come up with or were all these women sterile?

Are you unable to refute his allegation without personal attack, bcspace?

[_Yoda]

Are you unable to refute his allegation without personal attack, bcspace?

Is he ever?

[_Doctor CamNC4Me]

Hello,

I must admit a bit of jealousy on my part considering my biological leanings. If, indeed, the Mormon god has a "perpetual erection" in order to "service his Celestial wives" then... Is not that the very definition of Heaven? Much better to have sexual concourse with many-a-woman than to be a eunuch in an eternal a capella group praising one's Master, no? Many a Muslim who has self-detonated would agree, I am sure.

Very Respectfully,

Doctor CamNC4Me