Did someone say horses?

[_Paul Osborne]

Paul Dunn fell from grace shortly before my mission. Very sad.

Elder Dunn presided over the British Isles while I served in England. I had dinner with him on one occasion and remember him lecture at a zone conference.

He said the Church could pronounce coffee clean anytime. Some of the missionaries seemed a bit taken back.

Paul O

[_Gazelam]

Kim,

Thanks for your input on the prodigal son. That story always reminds me of the LDS film from 1990. That film focuses a great deal on the older brother.

I told you in my PM that my monster of a sister has been diagnosed with cancer. Her lymph nodes are blown up all over her body, what specific type of cancer she has they don't know just yet. I'm getting all of this information from my mom, I haven't had a conversation with my sister in nearly 16 years. It was all that time ago she made the decision to hang around low lifes and do all kinds of drugs. I've shared a few horror stories in older posts. I have a sort of dilema now in deciding that now that shes dying, do I change my tune and say a few kind words to her, maybe send her a card or something. I have to laugh, because its certainly a more horrible death than the one my brothers and I had planned for her ten years ago when we were tryign to decide if we should end my parents suffering and just do away with her.

I know that the is no salvation (exaltation) granted if I go out of this world with hardness in my heart and an unforgivning nature. So your take on the parable carries the weight of truth to it. i just wonder if I shoudl change my feeling towards her now just because shes ill. She hasnt changed at all, so should I?

In regards to the topic of removing a homosexual child from the home: I think we all make decisions every day in regards to what elements we allow in our home. We decide what shows are on our television, what books and magazines we allow. Why do we do this? Because we want a particular culture to cultivate in our homes, correct? So why would we allow an individual in our home who wants to tear down and circumvent all that youve struggled to build up?

[_Gazelam]

Paul,

He said the Church could pronounce coffee clean anytime. Some of the missionaries seemed a bit taken back.

that's funny. I am sure that at that time that woud have come as quite a shock.

Did he get into any of the discussion about how there is nothing inherently wrong with coffee? About how its more about obedience than anything else?

[_Paul Osborne]

Paul,

He said the Church could pronounce coffee clean anytime. Some of the missionaries seemed a bit taken back.

that's funny. I am sure that at that time that woud have come as quite a shock.

Did he get into any of the discussion about how there is nothing inherently wrong with coffee? About how its more about obedience than anything else?

It was simply a point he was making that God can change things in the church. He really stressed this point and accentuated his voice and actions over the coffee. It was the obedience issue that made coffee forbidden and not so much that it’s harmful. He made it clear that the church can lift the ban on coffee at any time if the Lord says so.

Paul O

[_Jersey Girl]

I told you in my PM that my monster of a sister has been diagnosed with cancer. Her lymph nodes are blown up all over her body, what specific type of cancer she has they don't know just yet. I'm getting all of this information from my mom, I haven't had a conversation with my sister in nearly 16 years. It was all that time ago she made the decision to hang around low lifes and do all kinds of drugs. I've shared a few horror stories in older posts. I have a sort of dilema now in deciding that now that shes dying, do I change my tune and say a few kind words to her, maybe send her a card or something. I have to laugh, because its certainly a more horrible death than the one my brothers and I had planned for her ten years ago when we were tryign to decide if we should end my parents suffering and just do away with her.

I know that the is no salvation (exaltation) granted if I go out of this world with hardness in my heart and an unforgivning nature. So your take on the parable carries the weight of truth to it. i just wonder if I shoudl change my feeling towards her now just because shes ill. She hasnt changed at all, so should I?

Why would changing your response depend on your sister changing?

Why do you need to say a few kind words to her?

Can't you just go there and listen?

I hate to sound like a bumper sticker, but what would Jesus do?

I also hate to sound preachy but according to scripture, Jesus was willing to hang on a cross for a world of unrepentant sinners.

What are you willing to do for your own sister?

You KNOW what the right thing to do is. Just do it.

[_Jersey Girl]

Put a bunch of flowers in your hand, then go there and hold her hand.

[_Gazelam]

Put a bunch of flowers in your hand, then go there and hold her hand.

Well, shes currently in Illinois. I'm sure at some point she'll end up at my moms as the disease progresses.

I could go hold her hand then. What else is Purell for?

[_Jersey Girl]

My friend Gaz,

I almost never put anything very personal on the board and I try not to post when I'm going through something difficult. You don't know it, but I've been going through alot of grieving and anger the last few days and I'll tell you why in the hopes that it will help you make a decision.

Where to start...I knew a boy in grade school. My first boyfriend. He looked alot like McCauley Culkin in the film, "My Girl". He was so sweet, kind and good natured. He was the one that made my heart flutter whenever I saw him. We stayed friends until I left Jersey. Over the years I lost contact with him. I found out, through a friend, some years ago that he died alone in his car. I didn't know the exact circumstances until the other night when I went out on a limb, jumped through some hoops and managed to get one of our old grade school friends to email me so I could ask about what happened in his life.

Now I wish I never asked the question, but I wanted to know the truth. And I got it.

He didn't exactly die alone. He shot up in his car in the parking lot of a bar in Jersey and died of an overdose of heroin and alcohol. (It's so ironic that I mentioned a heroin user in a post the other day). His wife was with him that night but she stayed in the bar. She thought he was sleeping in the car. She was apparently too busy getting stone drunk to think to go check on him.

He had 1 son by his first wife. A son and daughter by his second. And a fourth child out of wedlock. The person who wrote to me said that "he lived his life in excess" and that "he died the way he would have wanted to go".

WTH???

He would have wanted to "go" with a needle in his arm and leaving four kids without a father?

Gaz, inspite of the real fact that I'm angry and reeling from the thought that he essentially killed/wasted himself and abandoned his kids, if he were alive and dying like your sister and if it were possible, nothing would stop me from going to him.

Nothing would stop me from letting him know that he was loved.

I can't roll back the tape and do that. I don't get a do-over. He's not alive and sick like your sister. He is a collection of skeletal remains neatly tucked away in a cemetary just down the street from the grade school where I met him.

Don't miss an opportunity, Gaz, to do the right thing by your sister. Don't miss an opportunity to comfort her in her illness.

What if she believes that no one loves her?

She has already inflicted harm on herself. Do you need to inflict more on her by turning your back on her?

Like I said in the other post. Put a bunch of flowers in your hand and then go hold hers. You don't have to say anything.

Just show up.

Jersey

(I hate putting personal stuff on a board, but here it goes.)

[_Gazelam]

Jersey,

Thanks for sharing that story.

I know already that my sister knows I hate her. I've heard her say a few things in that regard. Heres the hell of it though, she knows why I hate her and yet her behavior remains unchanged. Every evil action shes made in her life has always involved someone there who told her not to do it, and she does it anyway.

How do you love someone like that? Is that what Christ feels like when he deals with us? Is that a lesson I'm meant to learn? I suppose so.

I guess you can love them while still keeping them at arms length so you don't get any of their mess on you. She can be very parasitic.

Gaz

[_Yoda]

Gaz--

Jersey Girl is right. You have to get past the hurt and go to her. If you don't, you will regret it the rest of your life.

Think about the example you want to set for your kids. Do you want them to view their father as a bitter person who turns his back on an ill sister? Or, should they view you as the kind, caring father, and brother, I know you are. You exercised tough love when you had to. Now, the time has come to exercise...love.