Did someone say horses?

[_Paul Osborne]

Gaz,

I feel like you have a black heart. It's scary. Everyone here is trying to counsel you to develop love but you resist. If you will just reach deep down in your heart for that love and give it to your sister you will be filled with true joy. That’s what it’s all about, Gaz. These are the moments that brought us to earth. This is what really matters! Show your love to your sister and Jesus will rejoice and cry.

Paul O

[_Gazelam]

Two questions

[_Jersey Girl]

Two questions

Can joy and hatred co-exist in one heart without killing the spirit?

[_Yoda]

Two questions

And this matters......how, exactly?

Look, Gaz, let me share a really great family home evening lesson with you:

Elder H. Burke Peterson, a leader in the Mormon Church, spoke about a father’s duty to his family and that he needs to be prepared and “listening.” “Remember, fathers, you are always teaching—for good or for ill. Your family is learning your ways and beliefs.” (”The Father’s Duty to Foster the Welfare of His Family,” Ensign, Nov. 1977, p. 88.)

When parents wish to teach their children specific values, they do so most powerfully by example. Through love and willingness to listen, to understand, and to share their deepest beliefs, Mormon or otherwise, parents teach by example. The following example illustrates how what we think we are teaching may not be what is really learned.
What David Learned

The lesson in Family Home Evening that night was on love. The family talked about ways they could show love for one another. Seven-year-old David said he could show love for his younger sisters by not being mean to them—even if they got into his things. “I won’t even push or shove or hit them,” he said proudly. Father agreed that was a good idea, and David left Family Home Evening that night determined to be kinder to his sisters.

The following night, David was trying to fix the pedal on his bicycle when his mother called him to come to dinner. He answered, “I’m coming,” but, since he was just about finished, he kept working on the pedal. His mother called again. David answered, “All right,” but still didn’t leave.

As his father sat down at the table, David’s mother said, “I’ve called David twice, but he still hasn’t come. I wish he’d mind better.” David’s father, who was hungry and getting impatient, got up from the table and went outside. David was still working on the bicycle. “What’s going on out here, David?” his father yelled. He grabbed David away from the bicycle and shoved him toward the house.

“But Dad, I only … ”

“No excuses, David! I’m getting sick and tired of your constant disobedience! Now get in the house!” And he pushed David, again, in that direction.

David was upset as he went into the house. He thought, “Dad doesn’t want me to push and shove the girls when they make me mad, but he shoves and pushes me. He says I should be nice to my sisters and show love for them, but he doesn’t act like he loves me.”

* If we tell our children to be loving and kind, but treat them with harshness and impatience, what will they learn?
* If David’s father feels his harshness is justified, are his words about love valuable?
* If David’s father does not repent of his harshness, what might David learn?
* Even though David’s father might be imperfect at times, how can he still be a proper example to his son? Admit his faults and show his son that he can repent.

Often parents fail to see that they are teaching more than they intend. Example has more meaning to a child than we may think.

Reference comes from the following website:
http://www.familiesforever.com/strength ... ndividuals

Let's apply this situation to your kids, Gaz. They will learn by example...by YOUR EXAMPLE.

If they see their Dad as a caring brother, who is willing to love his sister, simply because she is his sister, and a child of God, that is going to speak volumes.

It can also create a teaching experience for you involving the types of values you want to instill.

You can explain to your kids that you do not condone your sister's actions. She has made many bad choices.....choices which have actually contributed to her being sick.

But she is sick, and needs love and compassion.

Are you really going to let her die thinking that you hate her? Do you really want that?

There has to be some good memories you have of her.....when you were kids? Can you not think of one nice thing she did for you? Hang onto the childhood memories, if nothing else, Gaz.

[_RockSlider]

Good hell, leave the poor man alone.

[_harmony]

Two questions

Can joy and hatred co-exist in one heart without killing the spirit?

They co-exist in every heart.

[_Yoda]

Good hell, leave the poor man alone.

You're probably right. Gaz will do what Gaz will do. But I have a fairly long history with Gaz on the board. So does Jersey Girl. What we are saying, we say out of friendship, love, and concern.

He knows that.

But, you're right. Enough is enough.

Gaz, I hope things work out for the best in your relationship with your sister. And I hope her health improves.

You and your family will be in my prayers. Email or PM if you need to talk.

Liz

[_RockSlider]

I said what I said because of some of my own demons and family relationships ... they are painful ... I don't fully understand my feelings/reactions to them, having family/friends pressure me in regards to these things only make it worse.

I also hope gaz has better luck with this sort of thing than I have/do.

[_Paul Osborne]

Gaz,

Don't forget that we all knew each other quite well in the preexistence. You knew your sister and she knew you. Those experiences there go a long way. Your feelings are going to break if you give up on her in mortality. We are now performing on stage and our hearts are in front of us for everyone to see openly as planned according to the grand counsel. Let go of your pride and let love take over. LOVE. That is what matters. Learn it now or learn it later. Either way, you'll learn it.

Paul O

[_cksalmon]

Gaz writes: I have to laugh, because its certainly a more horrible death than the one my brothers and I had planned for her ten years ago when we were tryign to decide if we should end my parents suffering and just do away with her.

While apparently blithely ignorant of my naïve attempt to defend his questionable speech acts from improper ridicule, Gaz is quite capable, sans assistance, of telegraphing his own homicidal pathology.

Gold Star.

c