The Top Ten Happenings in Mopologetics 2009

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_Doctor Scratch
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The Top Ten Happenings in Mopologetics 2009

Post by _Doctor Scratch »

Ho ho ho! What a joyous and wonderful season this is! This is the season for celebrations, and whether your call your special event "Christmas" or "Smithmas," I'm sure you can agree that there is a distinctive, deeper meaning behind the festivities. As you are out on your morning stroll, watching the vapor of your breath coil out into the cold, wintry air, you may realize to yourself: "This is a time for reflection, too!" Yes; quite so. Indeed, I relish this opportunity to look back at The Year That Was. What follows are my highly subjective picks for the Top Ten Happenings in Mopologetics for the year 2009.

10. Scott Lloyd's Meltdown
It did not happen all at once. Rather, Brother Lloyd's unraveling occurred gradually, with him making a few tentative posts here on MDB, presenting himself as a calm and earnest individual. But, as time wore on, it became increasingly clear that he was a two-faced loose cannon. Perhaps the key tipping point was his admission that he has attempted to brainwash his children and to limit their interaction with non-TBM points of view, thus rendering them Chapel Mormons. Lloyd went on to expound upon his beliefs, arguing that anyone pushing for education of the Saints should be punished harshly:

Scott Lloyd wrote:It also occurs to me that in this cyber age, those who put hand to keyboard to oppose the Lord and His work will one day be held accountable for the faith of others they damage or destroy. Something posted on the Internet has a potential audience of millions. Regarding these authors, it were better that a millstone be hanged about their neck, etc.


In his now-infamous MAD posting, he admitted that he offers distorted and highly sanitized versions of Church history to his children. Later, he went even further, apparently oblivious to the fact he is himself encouraging exactly the sort of "orthodox Mormons" he condemns in this next excerpt:

Scott Lloyd wrote:On the one hand, we have Mormons who seek to learn and understand the authoritative doctrines, policies and positions of the Church so as to use them as guidelines for their own faith, belief, worship. For the purpose of discussion, I shall call them orthodox Mormons.

On the other hand, we have Mormons who, for whatever reason -- laziness, intellectual neglect, intransigence, invincible ignorance, whatever -- cling to folk doctrine as though it were scripture. I shall call them folk Mormons.


Perhaps most egregious, though, was his openly bad-mouthing the Lakewood Church pastor Joel Osteen, whom Lloyd described as a "hustler" and accused of dishonesty. It seems that somebody at MAD realized that this would open a horrific can of worms, and the "offending" post(s) were deleted by a moderator, which is to say that they were completely deleted from the messageboard.

All in all, this series of events showed Scott Lloyd in a completely different light that most of us are probably accustomed to seeing him. He revealed himself to be a deeply bitter and hostile individual who is hell bent on seeing his (perceived) enemies punished. The meltdown of Scott Lloyd therefore makes it onto this year's Top Ten list because (A) it forms a nice bookend with this year's No. 1 Happening, and (B) Scott Lloyd has always been among the most prominent Internet Mopologists, and his collapse marks a major defeat for the apologists and their cause.


9. GoodK & WjExMo vs. DCP
2009 saw a continuation of the feud between Eric "GoodK" and Daniel C. Peterson. The feud, as everyone knows by now, stems from DCP's interference in Eric's family affairs, and the subsequent problems it caused. In 2009, this conflict only deepened, with DCP making a false accusation about Eric's supposed mental problems and/or drug habit (an accusation rendered highly problematic given DCP's repeated hints that he knew "something more" to the whole Eric story). Eric retaliated by accusing The Good Professor of being addicted to an obscure drug, and, later, by threatening Peterson with a defamation lawsuit. If that weren't enough, the poster called WjExMo (a.k.a. "Infymus") revealed that DCP had helped, via his posting of presumably private material, prevent WjExMo from securing employment. That is to say: DCP baited WjExMo into making an emotional response to his (DCP's taunts), and when Wj slipped up and used profanity and vulgarisms, DCP posted them online, by way of SHIELDS, in order to embarrass him.


8. Apologists Are Blessed/Set-Apart by the Brethren
Over the course of a speculative thread that began in late March, it was revealed that certain apologetic endeavors have received a kind of "Holy Sanction" thanks to blessings given out by the Brethren. The full extent of this ecclesiastical endorsement is unknown, but it seems clear that blessings and/or the setting-apart of prominent apologists has played an important part in the ongoing programme of Mopologetics.

7. Elder Holland's Talk
There was perhaps no other issue that generated such heated buzz this year as Elder Holland's silly and aggressive talk on the truthfulness of the Book of Mormon. Relying on shaky logic, Holland managed to offer up hope and reassurance to members whose faith in the Book of Mormon can often seem like it is in constant danger.

6. SHIELDS Revisited
Thanks to a variety of scholarly inquiries, 2009 saw a renewed interest into the beleaguered apologetic institution known as SHIELDS. This organization saw its heyday in the late 1990s, with a series of "academic" conferences, and a robust relationship with the major FARMS apologists. Furthermore, an unearthed document revealed that SHIELDS's raison d'etre was to viciously and personally attack critics. For mysterious reasons, though, SHIELDS began a slow decline, with its major contributors either defecting or suffering significant defeats (such as Gary Novak's anguish over getting his article rejected). As of right now, SHIELDS is essentially stagnant, with founder Stan Barker cowering in fear at criticism from Dr. Shades, and with the organization clamoring for FARMS's leftovers in the form of resume-padder John Tvedtnes. Most important, though, is the window that the history of SHIELDS provides into Mopologetics as a whole: the squirrely funding, the personal attacks, the vindictive motives: all were present from the outset, and often deeply connected to the very top of the Mopologetic hierarchy.

5. DCP's Curriculum Vitae is Posted Online
Thanks to his involvement with the trial of Brian David Mitchell, Prof. Daniel C. Peterson's CV was posted to the Internet for what may be the first (and last?) time. The impressive, 70+ page document revealed Peterson's startlingly prolific activity over the past 20 or so years. More importantly, it showed how deeply he is involved in Church- and apologetic-related activities. Indeed, inspection of the document seems to show that, at best, only some 15% of his "professional" life is devoted to Islamic and/or Middle Eastern scholarship and work. This fact stands in awkward contradiction to his repeated claims that he is employed primarily to act as a Professor of Middle Eastern Studies.

4. Gadianton Delivers a Stunning Paper for the SMPT Conference
In a move that shocked and infuriated the apologists, Dean Gadianton Robbers delivered a brilliant scholarly presentation that revealed the "deep structures" of LDS apologetics. Right around the time of the conference, he was pumped for information by amateur apologist LifeOnaPlate, and he was viciously attacked by DCP and other apologists, all who seemed to deeply resent the nature of his admittedly unorthodox paper. The controversy extended over a few days, with an autobiographical "If I Did It" text appearing in installments. In the end, it seems reasonable to predict that this groundbreaking presentation will have a lasting impact on the way that apologists are able to deal with critics.

3. John Larsen's Podcasts
A real treat of 2009 were the engaging and erudite podcasts organized and hosted by John Larsen. Guests have ranged across the spectrum, and to this point, they seem to be a huge success. The interviews and discussion made for good, stimulating, and provocative listening for much of the year. Who knows what the future will hold for this exciting program?

2. The Ascent of Cassius University
While it had never been in ashes, it does seem fair to say that Cassius University and its works constituted a major force in the year of 2009---a kind of mythic phoenix helping to combat the powers of evil. Led by Dean Robbers, the university hosted a series of competitions, seminars, and devotionals, and it really came into its own on the Mopologetic scene. In terms of scholarship, the Hon. Rev. Kishkumen offered up considerable insight into the human aspects of the debate, but it may be Dean Robbers's theories on the Tiers of Apologetics that may have the most lasting, powerful impact. In addition to the Tiers, other crucial observations came to light, including the comparison of the Church with Peak Oil, and the revelation that Mopologists are jettisoning a historical reading of the Book of Mormon in favor of a "literary" reading---a process which was coined (by Dr. Shades) as "The Gadianton Turn."

1. The Apologists Retreat
The defining feature of 2009 in the world of Mopologetics, and therefore the most important Happening, was the subtle yet continuing retreat of the apologists in the face of stiff criticism and opposition. I already mentioned the significant meltdown of Scott Lloyd, but consider these other blows to Mopologetics:
---The flight, for various reasons, of The Nehor, Maklelan, LoaP, Droopy, Scott Lloyd, and so forth. These individuals tended to give various excuses for why they left, but the common denominator seems to be that they simply couldn't hack it. Some of them returned, but for the most part a good portion of these TBM posters have sought refuge in the Orwellian "safety" of the aptly named MADboard. Regardless, this marks a significant retreat.
---The continuing assault of Rodney Meldrum, and the rumor that FARMS higher-ups worked to squash publication of his book.
---On that note: the increasingly clear evidence that "leaks" are forming in the community of apologists. "Moles" within the ranks seem increasingly willing to speak out against the apologists' wrongdoings.
---Louis Midgley stooping to write for SHIELDS
---Will Schryver's attacks on formerly prominent apologist John Tvedtnes
---The aforementioned "Gadianton Turn."
---DCP's call for a "boycott" of MDB, in which he urged MAD participants to avoid reading the threads here (which, of course, is an echo of Scott Lloyd's attempts to whitewash problematic aspects of the Church for his son).
---The declining quality of the FARMS Review. (Rumor has it that the latest issue will cement this impression even further.)
---DCP's triple exit from this board. Readers are probably most familiar with his recent, rather fanfare-less departure (or semi-departure?) from the board in mid-August, but the truth is that he "fled" the board on 3 separate occasions. One of these occurred on March 14, during a thread entitled, "Basta!" in which DCP said he was leaving for good:

Daniel Peterson wrote:As Scratch wished, the door hasn't hit me on the way out.

I've had more than enough.


In spite of this, he resurfaced two days later, to fire up a thread entitled, "Theodore Abu Qurrah," and thereafter resumed his participation on the board. Later, in April, he announced that he was departing "Effectively With a Gun to My Head" in response to threats of litigation from GoodK. Of course, he didn't stay away for long. All this adds up to a sense that Dr. Peterson wants desperately to take on the critics, but he is ultimately just not up to the task.

Ultimately, 2009, which was a relatively calm and uneventful year, adds up to a series of small but cumulative defeats for the apologists. It may be too early to make predictions, but I believe I can sense a major storm on the horizon for FARMS and the world of Mopologetics. Will the Brethren opt to side with Rodney Meldrum? Will a communique reveal in sordid detail all of the odd monetary exchanges that undergird Mopologetics? We will have to wait and see, and on that note, I hereby welcome the new decade!
Last edited by Guest on Thu Dec 03, 2009 2:34 am, edited 1 time in total.
"[I]f, while hoping that everybody else will be honest and so forth, I can personally prosper through unethical and immoral acts without being detected and without risk, why should I not?." --Daniel Peterson, 6/4/14
_Dr. Shades
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Re: The Top Ten Happenings in Mopologetics 2009

Post by _Dr. Shades »

YES!! YES!! YES!!

I haven't read your post yet, Doctor Scratch, but your "Top Ten Happenings in Mopologetics 20xx" is the post I look forward to for, literally, months in advance. I'm SO glad you're still doing these!

Off to read the post. . .
"Finally, for your rather strange idea that miracles are somehow linked to the amount of gay sexual gratification that is taking place would require that primitive Christianity was launched by gay sex, would it not?"

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Re: The Top Ten Happenings in Mopologetics 2009

Post by _bcspace »

All this and you've failed to touch the Church. The apologists continue to win. An increase in yellow journalism and an unwillingness for any particular apologist to address it does not qualify as a victory. You're barking up the wrong tree by the way.....
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_Doctor Scratch
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Re: The Top Ten Happenings in Mopologetics 2009

Post by _Doctor Scratch »

bcspace wrote:All this and you've failed to touch the Church. The apologists continue to win. An increase in yellow journalism and an unwillingness for any particular apologist to address it does not qualify as a victory. You're barking up the wrong tree by the way.....


I disagree, BC. Things are changing pretty drastically. The apologists appear to have a profound influence on the Brethren, as indicated by their efforts to squash Meldrum's book, their getting "set apart," and their revision of Church doctrine. The changes to the intro to the Book of Mormon are surely an indication of the effects that apologetic interaction with critics has had.
"[I]f, while hoping that everybody else will be honest and so forth, I can personally prosper through unethical and immoral acts without being detected and without risk, why should I not?." --Daniel Peterson, 6/4/14
_Paul Osborne

Re: The Top Ten Happenings in Mopologetics 2009

Post by _Paul Osborne »

bcspace wrote:All this and you've failed to touch the Church. The apologists continue to win. An increase in yellow journalism and an unwillingness for any particular apologist to address it does not qualify as a victory. You're barking up the wrong tree by the way.....


Continue to win? Win what?

What is the name of the king in Facsimile No. 3? The apologists have lost!! I claim a victory over Book of Abraham apologists. Joseph Smith faked it.

Paul O
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Re: The Top Ten Happenings in Mopologetics 2009

Post by _Bond James Bond »

I don't recognize half of these things. I guess I'm not keeping up with the board like I should be. Is this the third or fourth year of this list Mister Scratch D.M.S.?
Whatever appears to be against the Book of Mormon is going to be overturned at some time in the future. So we can be pretty open minded.-charity 3/7/07

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Re: The Top Ten Happenings in Mopologetics 2009

Post by _Ray A »

Dr. Scratch, you omitted to mention the defection of the highly entertaining and inimitable Paul Osborne.

Ah well, we are not all perfect.
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Re: The Top Ten Happenings in Mopologetics 2009

Post by _MsJack »

Will somebody please explain this "Cassius University" business for your ignorant evangelical friend?

Please don't make pains in the asses of yourselves by acting like it's some grand, hilarious secret like the women of MADB do with "UMW."

EDIT: This has been explained to my satisfaction in a private message. Carry on.
Last edited by Guest on Thu Dec 03, 2009 3:06 pm, edited 1 time in total.
"It seems to me that these women were the head (κεφάλαιον) of the church which was at Philippi." ~ John Chrysostom, Homilies on Philippians 13

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_Doctor Scratch
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Re: The Top Ten Happenings in Mopologetics 2009

Post by _Doctor Scratch »

B23 wrote:I don't recognize half of these things. I guess I'm not keeping up with the board like I should be. Is this the third or fourth year of this list Mister Scratch D.M.S.?


It's the fourth year, If I recall correctly, Mr. Bond. That first year---2006---was the same year that saw the end of the old, ironically named FAIRboard, which earned the top slot on my list. Truth be told, I think that 2009 was a bit more low-key compared to the previous three.
"[I]f, while hoping that everybody else will be honest and so forth, I can personally prosper through unethical and immoral acts without being detected and without risk, why should I not?." --Daniel Peterson, 6/4/14
_Doctor Scratch
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Re: The Top Ten Happenings in Mopologetics 2009

Post by _Doctor Scratch »

Ray A wrote:Dr. Scratch, you omitted to mention the defection of the highly entertaining and inimitable Paul Osborne.

Ah well, we are not all perfect.


You're right, Ray: I can never fit everything in. That said, I think we could probably file Paul O.'s apostasy under Item 1, since it does seem to represent yet another defeat for apologetics.
"[I]f, while hoping that everybody else will be honest and so forth, I can personally prosper through unethical and immoral acts without being detected and without risk, why should I not?." --Daniel Peterson, 6/4/14
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