William Schryver - The Vulgar Scatologist of LDS Apologetics

[_The Nehor]

As a Scratch-certified Key Apologist™ I am not embarrassed by Will either.

[_Ray A]

Bumping for MAD lurkers.

[_Ray A]

Bumping with this observation. Readers should also note the violent strains behind Schryver’s rhetoric:

I’ve already got my calling and election made sure, so I really can’t go wrong from here on out unless I shed some innocent blood – and we both know I ain’t gonna find any of that here.

First of all, you try to tell my beloved 22-year-old "wenchlette" to "shut up and do as you're told." She'd kick your pansy-ass from here to Montana

And if I ever meet Mr. Scratch on the street, I'll knock him on his ass, pin him to the ground, and stick blades of grass up his nose until he cries.

Funny you should say that. I was teaching a primary class at the time that photo was taken. (The bishop in our new ward wouldn't dare turn me loose on the adults at that point.) It was a class with 7 extremely rowdy 9-year-old boys and 2 shy girls. I had a great time dealing with them. The boys were really obedient after the first Sunday when I grabbed the worst offender and pressed him against the ceiling and told him he'd better behave or he wouldn't live through the day.

(Emphasis added)

News to me. I’ve got a great wench … er, sweetheart. She’s one middle-aged baby boomer hottie with all the skills I could ask for – and more. In fact, she could also kick your ass from here to next week – and beyond.

You can add to Schryver’s rhetoric the word “violent” as well as vulgar.

His suspected alter-ego, “Wheat” (another apologist) wrote:

As far as Heber C. Kimball's proposed solution to pressing social problems _ sounds good to me. Hang a few gays, prostitutes, child molesters, defrauders, and the like in the public square, and before too long you'll have produced a much more hospitable environment for making and raising families.

Start with the apostates ... (MDB, Sun Jul 27, 2008 12:37 pm)

Deborah must feel charmed by his admiration. Maybe her motto is WWWD.

[_Paul Osborne]

Bumping it in honor of William Schryver, my dirty mouthed friend. It takes one to know one, and I know William boy is dirty.

Paul O

[_William Schryver]

Except for the cites listed below which are NOT mine, I’ve just read through the first post on this thread and found myself laughing all over again at how funny I can be when I put my mind to it.

As I’ve said many times, I hope people DO read everything I have ever written on this message board. Not only will doing so put the lie to the propaganda campaign that has been waged against me, but it will be entertaining for them as well!

LOL!

… a whore is a deep ditch; and a strange woman is a narrow pit.

(A quote from the Bible, of course. Proverbs, If I recall correctly.)

And now for something completely stupid....
That, and a pair of testicles, of course.

Not that this is even really “vulgar,” but I don’t believe I wrote this. In fact, I’m all but certain I didn’t.

No, it’s just because Emma was a champion bitch and no one else would have her except Joseph.

I don’t know where this came from, and it might very well be true, but I didn’t say it.

Omg. You're an actor with a mullet from Cedar City, UT? LOLOL. You're a f****in' douche... lolol...

Not me, either.

As for the rest of them, re-reading them this morning reminds me of why it is the campaign to label me as some kind of champion of vulgarity has never succeeded in convincing anyone outside The Great and Spacious Trailer Park©. The allegation has no basis in the facts, and no matter how you try to paint it, my words simply won’t convict me.

[_Droopy]

Will has some entertainment value, but that's about all.

Translation: neither I nor anyone else here stand a chance in a serious debate with him and that makes us feel very put out.

He's perhaps the sort of person I'd like to have a drink with in a pub (seriously). But apart from being an attention-whore I think, unfortunately, he's also dishonest.

I've seen not the slightest indication of this...ever.

He's also a great divider of people,

So was Jesus Christ. So is Droopy. So is Thomas Monson. Who here wants to be a part of The World, raise your hands.

who can only see in black and white, and sees evil lurking in every criticism of Mormonism, no matter how innocuous or well-intended, and his comments to Dan Vogel show just how divisive he is. Not even DCP will venture there, now, but Will is more than willing to oblige to set the Saints straight on whom they should expurgate and ostracise.

Beware they who come crying "unity!" Unity, unless it is unity in righteousness in harmony with correct principles, is for lemmings.

In this category Will is a three star General. Droopy a five-star General.

In which case that's "Sir" to you Private.

[Guest]

Unity, unless it is unity in righteousness in harmony with correct principles, is for lemmings.

Lemmings became notoriously famous because of unsubstantiated myths that they commit mass suicide when they migrate. The myth may exist in more variations. In most forms it does not appear to claim a conscious suicide but rather accidental mass death due to various factors. However in popular culture the alleged behavior is usually referred to as "mass suicide" and hence discussed here as "mass suicide myth".

Driven by strong biological urges, some species of lemmings may migrate in large groups when population density becomes too great. Lemmings can and do swim and may choose to cross a body of water in search of a new habitat. This fact and the extremely strong unexplained fluctuations in the population of Norwegian lemmings may have contributed to the development of the myth.

The myth of lemming "mass suicide" is long-standing and has been popularized by a number of factors. In 1955, Disney Studio illustrator Carl Barks drew an Uncle Scrooge adventure comic with the title "The Lemming with the Locket". This comic, which was inspired by a 1954 American Mercury article, showed massive numbers of lemmings jumping over Norwegian cliffs. Even more influential was the 1958 Disney film White Wilderness, which won an Academy Award for Documentary Feature, in which staged footage was shown with lemmings jumping into sure death after faked scenes of mass migration. A Canadian Broadcasting Corporation documentary, Cruel Camera, found that the lemmings used for White Wilderness were flown from Hudson Bay to Calgary, Alberta, Canada, where they did not jump off the cliff, but in fact were launched off the cliff using a turntable.

In more recent times, the myth is well-known as the basis for the failed Apple Computer 1985 Super Bowl commercial "Lemmings" and the popular 1991 video game Lemmings, in which the player must stop the lemmings from mindlessly marching over cliffs or into traps.

Because of their association with this odd behavior, lemming suicide is a frequently used metaphor in reference to people who go along unquestioningly with popular opinion, with potentially dangerous or fatal consequences. This metaphor is seen many times in popular culture, such as in the video game Lemmings, and in episodes of Red Dwarf and Adult Swim's show Robot Chicken. In Urban Terror, falling to one's death is called doing the lemming thing.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lemming#Mass-Suicide_Myth

EDIT: Those who have been studying militant cafeteria Mormonism may remember our previous discussion of using pop culture tropes under the pretense of literacy.

[_Brackite]

Let me clarify: now that you've formally joined the rodents here in The Great and Spacious Trailer Park™ you are officially a lost soul. You will burn in hell. There is no hope. Your best option at this point is to eat, drink, and be merry. For tomorrow (as it were) you will be cast into the bottomless pit, with a millstone for a pendant, and Agostini Il Maledetto as your eternal companion.

Post Reference:

[_Kevin Graham]

Translation: neither I nor anyone else here stand a chance in a serious debate with him and that makes us feel very put out.

Name a single debate Will has won.

Better yet, name a single debate Will has ever finished.

Or name a debate Will has ever impressed you.

And while you're at it, try naming a single debate Will has ever been willing to have over on this forum.

Will doesn't debate. Will can't debate. WIll obfuscates and tries to impress people with rhetoric. He usually does this over at his lecture chair at MADB.

Here is the part where Dafty doesn't answer the questions. Guaranteed.

[_William Schryver]

Translation: neither I nor anyone else here stand a chance in a serious debate with him and that makes us feel very put out.

Name a single debate Will has won.

Better yet, name a single debate Will has ever finished.

Or name a debate Will has ever impressed you.

And while you're at it, try naming a single debate Will has ever been willing to have over on this forum.

Will doesn't debate. Will can't debate. WIll obfuscates and tries to impress people with rhetoric. He usually does this over at his lecture chair at MADB.

Here is the part where Dafty doesn't answer the questions. Guaranteed.

Here are just two examples:

"Haran" Dittograph in Ab2

Interlinear Insertion at Abr. 1:12

Although Kevin Graham is very fond of (and very frequently persuaded by) the counter-argument of "you're just an idiot who has no idea what he's talking about," most people are much more intellectually rigorous in their approach to such things.