"Are you on your period or something?" and other sexist remarks

[Jersey Girl]

No. You seem like you want to avoid thinking.

Yeah, Screw you too. I don't need your hypocrisy today.

Apparently, you don't need logic today either. If you don't want a response, don't say anything.

[Some Schmo]

If you don't want a response, don't say anything.

You can respond all you want, and so can I. I was simply warning you that I'm not in the mood for your BS today, so be prepared for fire.

Go for it.

[Jersey Girl]

If you don't want a response, don't say anything.

You can respond all you want, and so can I. I was simply warning you that I'm not in the mood for your BS today, so be prepared for fire.

Go for it.

I'm not interested in what mood you are in today. Here's my original response to you.

Go “F” yourself.

You post this long ass post condemning a fellow poster in a public forum with some intention.

It wasn't a long ass post. It was about I dunno, 3 sentences followed by an illustrative quote. She wasn't condemning a fellow poster on a public forum, she was condemning the conduct of said poster.

Are you trying to get people to dislike Analytics? You don't think he knew what he was saying when he said it? You want us to believe he's a sexist? You don't think every adult who read the conversation can determine for themselves whether or not the comment was sexist, or whether Analytics was being a sexist?

I think her objective was to get people to consider and discuss the conduct. On a board where there are something like 180 posters, 4 of which are female, it's probably not a bad idea to address the issue when it raises it's ugly head lest the lack of response send the message that this is the accepted norm. It's not unlike the issue of posters "outing" other posters. Should we just pass that by or address it? On a board where there is now virtually no moderation at all, sometimes it behooves us to step forward and tackle a thing when it happens.

Why did you start this thread?

I think she started this thread for the reasons above. She wanted to address the issue, decided not to derail the Terrestrial topic where it originated, and created a new off topic thread here in Off Topic. Where it belongs.

What the “F”? I'm pretty sure most people around here are familiar with and understand that the comment is sexist. This isn't a goddamn newsflash.

Lack of response again indicating a norm. Why don't you understand that?

Don't complain when people respond to your damned posts. If you don't want a response, don't say anything.

She did get responses. Some thoughtful, others not. Some joking, though most serious in nature. There was a conclusion here, you chose to rip the stitches out and she shouldn't respond to that. Got it.

You don't have to be female to exercise insight, Schmo.

[Some Schmo]

I'm not interested in what you suspect were Lem's reasons. I wanted to hear what she thinks she was trying to do. I wanted to read the words "help eliminate sexism" or "impugn Analytics' character." Something.

I never thought to ask the question until she misinterpreted my post and flipped out on me (after misinterpreting Moksha's post and flipping out on him... in a thread about her flipping out on Analytics. There seems to be a pattern here. I was just curious what was behind it, although I realize asking her the question isn't likely going to net me the real answer).

Waiting for "flipping out" to be interpreted as sexism in 3... 2... 1...

[Some Schmo]

You don't have to be female to exercise insight, Schmo.

I never once said anything to the contrary. You pulled that out of your ass.

And I don't care who you are; unless you can actually get inside somebody's mind and walk around in their body, you will never truly know their experience. Insight is not mind reading, nor is it a conduit to someone else's actual experience.

And again, the point is lost on you too. I said that because I think it's a good thing to keep in mind when dealing with people in different demographics. I was saying it as advice to avoid sexism (or racism, or any other kind of prejudice).

[canpakes]

I'm not interested in what mood you are in today.

With a good rule of thumb being that if you were, you wouldn’t want to assume a cause ... even if intending to jest.*

Honestly, following this rule in the most general sense will keep folks out of all sorts of sticky situations beyond what we’ve seen here.

*and especially if the assumed ‘cause’ is a sexist cliché.

[Lem]

I'm not interested in what you suspect were Lem's reasons. I wanted to hear what she thinks she was trying to do. I wanted to read the words "help eliminate sexism" or "impugn Analytics' character." Something.

I never thought to ask the question until she misinterpreted my post and flipped out on me (after misinterpreting Moksha's post and flipping out on him... in a thread about her flipping out on Analytics. There seems to be a pattern here. I was just curious what was behind it, although I realize asking her the question isn't likely going to net me the real answer).

Waiting for "flipping out" to be interpreted as sexism in 3... 2... 1...

Yes, there seems to be a pattern, indeed.

Many men and (i think) three women have commented here; on the OP, on Moksha's comments, on SS's comments. Jersey Girl gave some very straightforward comments about how a thread like this might have gotten started, she was quite accurate in her assessments.

I have appreciated these comments for the most part, many have been very insightful. A couple of really helpful references have been given as well. Here's a recent and admittedly pretty hotblooded post, that got right to the point in addressing the assessment above about the "flipping out" ascribed to the OP:

Let's take my case on this thread. I suggested that a list or even a general guide that might help alleviate any hurtful word usage in the future. Instead, I got pounced upon and insulted for a helpful suggestion. It was like I suddenly became the enemy. I'm used to seeing those pouncers exude nastiness on others, but I was not expecting it on myself.

GMAFB. You clearly didn't read the OP, and if you did, and still posted that stupid crap you posted then it's worse. Lemmie simply pointed out some overtly sexist language, provided context, and after a bit of back and forth she and Analytics came to an understanding and resolution. YOU, otoh, waltzed into the empty movie theater, sat your ass right down next to them, knocked her elbow off the arm rest, and when she was like, "WTF?" you decided to make a stupid reference to the Vietnam war because HURR DURR this feminist harbor SURE IS LOADED WITH LANDMINES. HHHHUUUUUUURR. And when you were rightly taken to task you've now made yourself the goddamn victim. Instead of damned taking a moment and having some goddamn self-reflection, you instead make it about yourself just like Robert Kirby would, and then tried getting people on your side with your self pity posting.

Your attempt to hide your trolling in folksy jokesy humor, often derailing threads with nonsense that even most ardent Dennis Miller fan couldn't make sense of, and when one or two people finally snap back at you then it's, "oH mY gOD, tHiS pLAcE iS sO tOxiC!!!"

Jesus.

- Doc

[Jersey Girl]

Could somebody draw up a list of expressions not to use?

Start here:

Your thinking is cloudy today. Are you on your period or something?

[Jersey Girl]

You don't have to be female to exercise insight, Schmo.

I never once said anything to the contrary. You pulled that out of your ass.

No, I riffed off your own comments re: empathy.

And I don't care who you are; unless you can actually get inside somebody's mind and walk around in their body, you will never truly know their experience. Insight is not mind reading, nor is it a conduit to someone else's actual experience.

I didn't say that insight was mind reading or a conduit to someone else's actual experience. I'm referring to reading the room and exercising insight as to what you are walking in to.

And again, the point is lost on you too. I said that because I think it's a good thing to keep in mind when dealing with people in different demographics. I was saying it as advice to avoid sexism (or racism, or any other kind of prejudice)

Uh huh.

[Jersey Girl]

I'm not interested in what you suspect were Lem's reasons. I wanted to hear what she thinks she was trying to do. I wanted to read the words "help eliminate sexism" or "impugn Analytics' character." Something.

I never thought to ask the question until she misinterpreted my post and flipped out on me (after misinterpreting Moksha's post and flipping out on him... in a thread about her flipping out on Analytics. There seems to be a pattern here. I was just curious what was behind it, although I realize asking her the question isn't likely going to net me the real answer).

Waiting for "flipping out" to be interpreted as sexism in 3... 2... 1...

The OP is crystal clear. No flipping out involved.

A person objecting to the use of stereotyping (in this case female) as a substitute for discussion, choosing not to derail a thread in progress, posting about it in an Off Topic Forum because it is off topic, isn't flipping out. They're simply objecting and if you read the entirety of the OP, Lem was also attempting to inform.

Maybe you should read the OP with the intent of thoughtful consideration. You know, when you're in the mood.

To think.