Telling a spouse about your disbelief

[_Called2Swerve]

I probably should have been much more open to my wife about this journey I have been on. I have heard many testimonies from my spouse about how much she admires my testimony, faith and how I honor my Priesthood. We can talk about our insecurities our failings and our faults, because we know we have them. But when your testimony, faith and honor to your priesthood is put up on a pedestal, how can you tell them that this pedestal is at risk of falling over?

[_stemelbow]

Be upfront and honest. Maybe she's mistaking "testimony, faith, and honor or your priesthood" for something else?

[_Called2Swerve]

Be upfront and honest. Maybe she's mistaking "testimony, faith, and honor or your priesthood" for something else?

Young women are taught from an early age to seek out that honorable return missionary who has a testimony and honors their priesthood. When they get married these young women and older women get up and bear testimony about how they love their husband for having these and other qualities. It is difficult to be so upfront and honest about this when it seems as if we are all taught that questioning the faith or stumbling in the faith is unacceptable. I would love to be forthright and honest about this, but I felt I was taught to not share these thoughts but to shelve these thoughts.

[_Will Schryver]

Be upfront and honest. Maybe she's mistaking "testimony, faith, and honor or your priesthood" for something else?

Most likely hypocrisy.

[_Doctor CamNC4Me]

Hello,

Perhaps you and your devout Mormon wife could follow Mr. Schryver's example and enjoy a hearty guffaw when you call women bitches, and insinuate another one is a whore? Or even better you could designate with a funny moniker that your daughter is loose? I suppose these are true Mormon values since Mr. Schryver seems intent on imposing his on everyone else.

V/R
Dr. Cam

[_Called2Swerve]

Be upfront and honest. Maybe she's mistaking "testimony, faith, and honor or your priesthood" for something else?

Most likely hypocrisy.

I never considered myself a hypocrite about my faith, testimony or Priesthood. The only thing I have not done well is express my fear and doubt about the church to my wife.

[_LDSToronto]

Most likely hypocrisy.

I never considered myself a hypocrite about my faith, testimony or Priesthood. The only thing I have not done well is express my fear and doubt about the church to my wife.

Don't listen to that jackass. Listen to me. I had doubts for years, and was horribly worried about telling my wife. As it turned out, she had her own doubts, and was similarly worried about sharing.

It does take some courage, but telling her is important. If you never leave the church, or share your doubts publicly, that's fine. But tell your wife. I can't predict the outcome, but if you don't talk to your wife about this, you will be miserable. That I can guarantee.

H.

[_stemelbow]

Don't listen to that jackass. Listen to me. I had doubts for years, and was horribly worried about telling my wife. As it turned out, she had her own doubts, and was similarly worried about sharing.

It does take some courage, but telling her is important. If you never leave the church, or share your doubts publicly, that's fine. But tell your wife. I can't predict the outcome, but if you don't talk to your wife about this, you will be miserable. That I can guarantee.

H.

I can't guarantee nuttin'. But Toronto's take does seem quite reasonable to me. Some things that are hard, or seem hard, are very much worth doing.

[_just me]

Make sure she knows you love her and your feelings for her have not changed. Make sure she can feel that you love her. Many believing spouses worry about the consequences to the temple sealing and marriage when the other is doubting or disbelieving.

[_LDSToronto]

Make sure she knows you love her and your feelings for her have not changed. Make sure she can feel that you love her. Many believing spouses worry about the consequences to the temple sealing and marriage when the other is doubting or disbelieving.

Damn, so true. I told my wife that I loved her in spite of the temple sealing, that my love for her was not related to or influenced by a religious ceremony and that my choice to marry her (and her to marry me) was based on love, not duty.

I hear too many members talk about how eternal marriage helps them keep their spouses in bad times, because they know there is an eternal reward. This has always seemed strange - to base one's marriage on some external factor rather than on love.

H.