33 Year old Man Courting an 18 Year old Girl

[_Inconceivable]

A friend of mine came to me for a shoulder to lean on tonight. Long story short, his 18 year old daughter has been secretly seeing a 22 year old "older boy" bartender for the past several months. Tonight the parents learned this older boy is actually a man of 33. Their daughter lives at home, just turned 18 and is graduating high school this month. The father knows the guy and paid a visit to him a couple months ago and was assured they weren't going out (which she later admitted they were) and that any further contact would cease. She has said they are just friends, of course, and sees no harm in continuing their "non-physical" relationship. The behavior of this guy really made my blood boil. I offered my friend some advice which I guess would be just the other side of civil (since I'm assuming there is very little he can do legally).

I raise this topic because this type of behavior was the primary reason why I left the church. I honestly believe that Joseph Smith was a predator - someone who's moral and ethical ideals fell far below what I would aspire to. This story has just brought it closer to the world we live in today.

My heart really goes out to these parents (and their dim witted daughter). I hope things work out for them.

[_badseed]

It's not the 15 years difference that's the concerned to me as much as it is the young woman's age. 18 is so very young and there's a lot of growing up that is done before even 21....25. The 33 year old guy should know better. Looks like though this is all about him.

[_Yoda]

Where did they meet?

And what does a 33 year old man have in common with an 18 year old girl?

Did they work together somewhere?

I agree with Badseed. It's not so much the 15 year age difference, but the actual ages involved.

There is a huge difference between a 30 and a 45 year old dating, and an 18 and 33 year old dating.

The point in the 18 year old's life is what is unsettling.

The other piece that is unsettling, is that even though this girl is 18, she is still in High School. Yes, she is graduating shortly, but how long have they been going out?

How can a 33 year old man justify dating someone in High School?

[_Inconceivable]

Where did they meet?

And what does a 33 year old man have in common with an 18 year old girl?

Did they work together somewhere?

I agree with Badseed. It's not so much the 15 year age difference, but the actual ages involved.

There is a huge difference between a 30 and a 45 year old dating, and an 18 and 33 year old dating.

The point in the 18 year old's life is what is unsettling.

The other piece that is unsettling, is that even though this girl is 18, she is still in High School. Yes, she is graduating shortly, but how long have they been going out?

How can a 33 year old man justify dating someone in High School?

I think it was a civic venue where she or her friends perform where he works.

Apparently, they've been seeing each other for 3+ months. In my opinion there is no justification for his behavior borderlining criminal.

His wife didn't seem to mind so much when she thought he was only 22 or so. I'm not sure what would posses a mother to think this way. But this seems to have some parallel to the way the mothers may have given their blessing to Smith.

[_Rambo]

The rule is half your age plus 7.

The crazy thing is I know it least 5 Mormon men that married Mormon girls that were either 18 or 19 and they were around 29. I think this is very common with church members. Maybe they are just following the example of Joseph Smith.

On my brothers mission they had a saying.

When your 6 months out the laurels start to look pretty cute. Then when you are a year out the mia maids start looking cute. After a year and a half the more "mature" behives start looking pretty good. Then after 2 years your companion starts to look cute.

I also remember getting told before I went on my mission to take a look at the girls that are 12-15 years old in the ward because you may be dating these girls when you get back some day. I'm not sure who told me this but it might have just been the other guys in my ward.

What a crazy culture now that I look back at it.

[_DarkHelmet]

I also remember getting told before I went on my mission to take a look at the girls that are 12-15 years old in the ward because you may be dating these girls when you get back some day.

WTF? A mission is only 2 years. That 12 year old girl will only be 14 when the missionary comes home as a 21 year old. What sick bastards are checking out 12-14 year old girls? My daughter is only 7, but in a few years the adult men in the ward will be checking her out. That's sick.

[_Bond James Bond]

Take the car and cell phone away and see how much she loves him.

All right not really. Doing anything too insane like that will just make her more stubborn. I'd say play it by ear, a lot of that type of crap fizzles out when girls go off to college. Townies don't look as hot when you get to college and start meeting pre-med, pre-law, pre-whatever guys.




*I know I will be cursed with like 6 daughters.

[_Redefined]

Not much Mommy or Daddy can do about it. . . she's 18, and as such can decide her own dating criteria. Anything they do to try and control the situation, will be counterproductive. The only thing left to do is use the "under our roof" card, but that can be a tricky card to play, because it may not have the desired effect. . . for instance, instead of breaking up with him, she moves out with him, ends up pregnant, struggling, shelterless, etc.

All that said, absolutely the 33 year old should know better! Then again, I guess there are so many out there that don't, or don't care.

[_DarkHelmet]

Your daughter is 18, so it might be best to work with the 33 year old guy. You could always suggest that it would be in his best interest to stay away from your daughter, then lift your shirt to expose the gun you have in your waistband. Of course, make sure you get a concealed carry permit first.

[_KimberlyAnn]

As the mother of a teenage daughter, I cannot believe this girl's parents allow her out of the house. I am not a very strict parent, but it would be over my dead body that a thirty-three year old man would take advantage of my eighteen year old daughter.

The thirty-three year old needs to be warned to stay away from the teenage daughter. If he refuses, surely the girl has a father or some older brothers who could knock some sense into the idiot if necessary. He might think more clearly sans a few teeth and a broken nose.

The parents should also investigate into the possibility that the 33 year old might have given their underage daughter alcohol. If they find any proof of it, they can have him arrested and he'll also lose his license to serve liquor, making further employment as a bartender impossible.

Even if he's not dissuaded by the ass-kicking and lack of employment, the eighteen year old girl will surely lose interest in him. No young girl in her right mind wants a broke loser with missing teeth.

KA