33 Year old Man Courting an 18 Year old Girl

[_Doctor CamNC4Me]

KA,
are the dumb 18 year olds who the US military industrial complex recruit to catch bullets or blow up family homes of peasants preyed upon? If not, what's the difference? Would you think it's fine for this girl to join the marines and frag a village but not mess around with a grownup?

Hello Mr. Spurven,

When would an 18 year-old girl "frag" a village? Note, you're misusing a term in an attempt to equivocate sex with murder. Kinda weird, Sir.

That said, the problem with a 30-something adult having a relationship with a child is brain development. Studies have shown (and no I'm not going to Google them for you) that our brains aren't fully developed until you're in your 30's to 40's.

In other words, a fully developed brain can manipulate a naïve and immature brain into sexual congress. That's what's wrong with that scenario... The level of intentional manipulation to “F” someone. Clearly the 30 something has little if anything in common with the child outside of work environment, a few associates, and a desire to have sex. That's it. And that, in of itself, is wrong. It's very wrong because the child can't comprehend the sheer impact her behavior is having on herself and others... Why? Because her brain isn't fully cognitive.

The 30 something is a predator. That's the bottom line.

V/R
Dr. Cameron.NC.for.Me.

[_Jersey Girl]

The problem is that the "lawmakers" don't know a damn thing about human brain development. Nor do most of the posters on the thread, it appears.

The magic number is 25, not 18.

Bless you. :-)

That said, I would be horrified if parents could still control their kids until they turned 25. The only thing we can do short of changing the law (which might not be such a bad idea), is try reasoning with an adolescent. Good luck--you're gonna need it. Maybe the movie Cinepro mentioned would help?

I am mystified how everyone says "well, she's 18 and an adult" by rote, without considering how her brain develops and effects her ability to make decisions.

I think it would also be best if people put off marriage until after 25 due to brain development issues. However, there the longer one waits to have children, the more certain complications are likely to arise with pregnancy and the child. Yet if you have the child at a young age, you are less likely to be emotionally and financially prepared to care for the child.

Agree completely.

[_Jersey Girl]

CAM

That said, the problem with a 30-something adult having a relationship with a child is brain development. Studies have shown (and no I'm not going to Google them for you) that our brains aren't fully developed until you're in your 30's to 40's.

Wrong.

[_Doctor CamNC4Me]

CAM

That said, the problem with a 30-something adult having a relationship with a child is brain development. Studies have shown (and no I'm not going to Google them for you) that our brains aren't fully developed until you're in your 30's to 40's.

Wrong.

Hello Ms. Girl,

I should probably provide references for my ascertations when I do a CFR, but I'd be interested in you disabusing me of my notion. I don't have a problem with learning something new.

V/R
Dr. C4Me

[_Jersey Girl]

Look up Piaget, look up Vygotsky, look up Kohlberg, look up just about any material having to do with brain development.

The brain reaches a stage of full maturity on or around age 25. I'd have to go about 26/27 for male brains.

If you are unwilling to research those things...

Think about what you know about 20 year old males and their driving records. Think about what you know about insurance rates and when they go up. The auto insurance industry, inadvertently, set the rates based on valid statistics that provide indications of the age at which the brain develops.

There's a reason for those risk taking behaviors and it's not just a simple case of testosterone spikes though that is certainly a factor.

[_Jersey Girl]

Ugh, I'm in a hurry and have to leave!

As I and abman indicated, the human brain reaches a level of maturity on or around age 25. I want to qualify that by saying that because the brain matures at that age, that does not mean that the brain cannot change thereafter.

What I am saying is that the maturity of the brain on or around age 25 allows for higher order thinking/cognition...ability to weigh options in decision making, greater capacity to engage moral reasoning that that sort of thing...predict outcomes, etc.

I have to go!

[_asbestosman]

There is a second side this brain equation.

Preface: this note does not in any way justify the actions. Adults should know better. Period.

I will admit something that women have known for years: testosterone makes men stupid. Well, I don't know if it's actually testosterone. However, when a man sees a physically attractive woman, the judgement center of the brain is actually slowed down. I heard that in an experiment, men are much more impulsive and foolish after viewing pictures of pretty women. In that sense men who like young girls may not be giving it lots of forethought--let alone premeditated manipulation. HOWEVER, THAT DOESN'T GET THEM OFF OF ACCOUNTABILITY.

I don't recall what the case is for women. They probably are not effected visually as men are. However, I wonder if even a woman with an adult brain wouldn't make a foolish decision if someone flatters her.

Thus it may be that even a 30 your old woman could be manipulated by a 30 year old loser man. Someone who knows how to tell the right story--how to be a womanizer. But what is different in this situation? The 30-year old is still manipulative and the other still lacks judgment. The differences may be the amount of skill required to be manipulative and that they were one more equal footing in the first place such that she is as likely to be able to manipulate him--if indeed manipulation is involved at all.

The point, though, is that it's imperative for all adults to learn how to exercise caution when they have strong emotions. Look to trusted friends who are not emotionally involved and can offer more perspective. Not only are teenagers lacking in judgment, but we ourselves often are too. If we want them to make better decisions, we need to show them that we too understand our limitations and take precautions help compensate.

[_Jersey Girl]

Ugh! I want to add that we are talking about developmental stages here, that is to say, we are talking about a "range". Think in terms of the age at which a child begins to walk. There is NO magic number, there is a range of ages at which the child typically begins to walk.

Same thing with brain maturity. It's all about brain development.

And abman, do not tempt me with the topic of the impact of testosterone! Okay...go ahead and tempt me, but I'll have to reply much later in the day.

I'm really going now. Really!

[_Inconceivable]

by the way,

Thanks everyone for the dialog/feedback.

(except for maybe, you, Spurven. Somehow the internet must extend beyond the bounds of planet earth, like maybe norway)

[_Inconceivable]

did anyone else think this was a joseph smith thread when they looked at the subject line?

LOL The funny thing is that believing members here feel the same way about this situation with the non-believing members, but not when you see the same thing with Joseph Smith.

Surreal isn't it? See, when I was a TBM, I wasn't aware of Smith's clandestine behavior. But when I discovered the actual history (as a TBM) I became physically sick for a time. That's the difference between myself and those that defend deplorable behavior in the name of their god.

I didn't begin to feel well until I began to disassociate myself from the group that worshipped his facade.