Why Do We Bicker?

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_why me
_Emeritus
Posts: 9589
Joined: Fri Feb 02, 2007 8:19 pm

Re: Why Do We Bicker?

Post by _why me »

Quasimodo wrote:
I think this IS the best Mormon board on the internet. I agree that things do get out of hand on occasion. Maybe that's the price that must be paid for having such a free exchange of ideas.

I do see you here quite a bit (a good thing). You must be willing to pay that price, as well.


I don't care but I do try to understand the reasons.

However, I do perhaps care for the people getting mocked and bashed. It can be quite awful and yet, I can understand the angst of the mocking and bullying poster. But they do put the board at a lower level than it should be. This board can be a top board if more LDS would post here. Some stick to the celestial threads because the mocking, cursing, and bashing are not allowed. But such things should not be allowed on any kingdom of the board.
I intend to lay a foundation that will revolutionize the whole world.
Joseph Smith


We are “to feed the hungry, to clothe the naked, to provide for the widow, to dry up the tear of the orphan, to comfort the afflicted, whether in this church, or in any other, or in no church at all…”
Joseph Smith
_beastie
_Emeritus
Posts: 14216
Joined: Thu Nov 02, 2006 2:26 am

Re: Why Do We Bicker?

Post by _beastie »

why me wrote:
Didn't you start the thread asking why people are bickering here? I gave an answer. Their angst and anxiety come from someone or somewhere out there in their life process. Here they can let loose with abuse and mocking as a angst release and get away with it. And lets face it, some of the posts seem like a case of anger release. And I am sure that these posters when they close their computer get a feel good rush for a short while.


I'm not allowed to make a point based on your response? Why do you continue to post here if people are so abusive here?
We hate to seem like we don’t trust every nut with a story, but there’s evidence we can point to, and dance while shouting taunting phrases.

Penn & Teller

http://www.mormonmesoamerica.com
_zeezrom
_Emeritus
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Joined: Wed Dec 30, 2009 8:57 pm

Re: Why Do We Bicker?

Post by _zeezrom »

Beastie,

I love to see how people respond to things I say. I don't care much for debate. The commentary is fascinating and often hilarious.
Oh for shame, how the mortals put the blame on us gods, for they say evils come from us, but it is they, rather, who by their own recklessness win sorrow beyond what is given... Zeus (1178 BC)

The Holy Sacrament.
_sock puppet
_Emeritus
Posts: 17063
Joined: Fri Jul 23, 2010 2:52 pm

Re: Why Do We Bicker?

Post by _sock puppet »

why me wrote:
Quasimodo wrote:
I think this IS the best Mormon board on the internet. I agree that things do get out of hand on occasion. Maybe that's the price that must be paid for having such a free exchange of ideas.

I do see you here quite a bit (a good thing). You must be willing to pay that price, as well.


I don't care but I do try to understand the reasons.

However, I do perhaps care for the people getting mocked and bashed. It can be quite awful and yet, I can understand the angst of the mocking and bullying poster. But they do put the board at a lower level than it should be. This board can be a top board if more LDS would post here. Some stick to the celestial threads because the mocking, cursing, and bashing are not allowed. But such things should not be allowed on any kingdom of the board.

If this, the Terrestrial Forum is so horrid, I wonder why this is the most popular and frequented and posted on forum of MDB. If the Terrestrial Forum is so abhorrent, you are free, why me, to confine yourself to the Celestial Forum. Fact is, this is where people want to lurk and post because of the very nature and latitude of this Forum, and the posts that it does draw.

I would prefer the lesser rules of the Telestial Forum, but I read and post almost exclusively here in the Terrestrial Forum because this is where the action is. That's why you're here too. So stop your whining.
_Morley
_Emeritus
Posts: 3542
Joined: Mon Apr 25, 2011 6:19 pm

Re: Why Do We Bicker?

Post by _Morley »

why me wrote:
I don't care but I do try to understand the reasons.

However, I do perhaps care for the people getting mocked and bashed. It can be quite awful and yet, I can understand the angst of the mocking and bullying poster. But they do put the board at a lower level than it should be. This board can be a top board if more LDS would post here. Some stick to the celestial threads because the mocking, cursing, and bashing are not allowed. But such things should not be allowed on any kingdom of the board.


God knows I try to keep myself from mocking you, Why Me, but you work so hard to make yourself an irresistible target. The spirit is willing, but the evil typing fingers are weak.
_wenglund
_Emeritus
Posts: 4947
Joined: Fri Oct 27, 2006 7:25 pm

Re: Why Do We Bicker?

Post by _wenglund »

I applaud Beastie for raising this potentially edifying question and for encouraging reflection. I also commend those who have followed Beastie's lead in honestly and thoughtfully seeking answers to this question.

I have learned through introspection and my amateur studies of human nature, is that a very common reason we bicker and engage in put-downs and rumors and so forth. is because we hurt, and because we mistakenly chose dysfunctional ways to deal with the hurt.

When we hurt, we may lash out both in vengeance and protectiveness, not realizing that the lashing out often engenders hurt and retribution, creating a downward cycle of mutual abuse.

This dysfunction tends to be exacerbated when individuals coalesce into gangs or mobs, thinking their is safety and solace in numbers. Hurt may then turn to anger and prejudice, which in turn may turn to hate and bigotry.

What makes this dysfunction so nefarious is the seductive, though false perception of justice and power. One may derive enormous gratification from exacting an eye for an eye and even more so in presumably vanquishing one's foe.

As such, we are drawn to the dysfunction and may become trapped in the downward cycle of mutual hurt.

And, it is not uncommon for us to become so blindingly immersed in the dysfunction that it takes extreme events like what has occurred here over the last several months on this board to wake us up and cause use to reflect and perhaps take pause. For some, even that wont suffice.

Thanks, -Wade Englund-
Last edited by Gadianton on Wed Jun 15, 2011 4:14 pm, edited 1 time in total.
"Why should I care about being consistent?" --Mister Scratch (MD, '08)
_wenglund
_Emeritus
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Joined: Fri Oct 27, 2006 7:25 pm

Re: Why Do We Bicker?

Post by _wenglund »

Assuming I am somewhat correct in my assessment above, the question then becomes: "What are the healthy and productive ways to deal with hurt?"

Thanks, -Wade Englund-
"Why should I care about being consistent?" --Mister Scratch (MD, '08)
_sock puppet
_Emeritus
Posts: 17063
Joined: Fri Jul 23, 2010 2:52 pm

Re: Why Do We Bicker?

Post by _sock puppet »

Just for you, Wade:

I hurt myself today
To see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
The only thing that's real
The needle tears a hole
The old familiar sting
Try to kill it all away
But I remember everything

What have I become?
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know
Goes away in the end
You could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt

I wear this crown of crap
Upon my liar's chair
Full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair
Beneath the stains of time
The feelings disappear
You are someone else
I am still right here

What have I become?
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know
Goes away in the end

You could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt
If I could start again
A million miles away
I would keep myself
I would find a way


Nine Inch Nails.
_beastie
_Emeritus
Posts: 14216
Joined: Thu Nov 02, 2006 2:26 am

Re: Why Do We Bicker?

Post by _beastie »

sock puppet wrote:
Nine Inch Nails.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SmVAWKfJ4Go
We hate to seem like we don’t trust every nut with a story, but there’s evidence we can point to, and dance while shouting taunting phrases.

Penn & Teller

http://www.mormonmesoamerica.com
_beastie
_Emeritus
Posts: 14216
Joined: Thu Nov 02, 2006 2:26 am

Re: Why Do We Bicker?

Post by _beastie »

wenglund wrote:I applaud Beastie for raising this potentially edifying question and for encouraging reflection. I also commend those who have followed Beastie's lead in honestly and thoughtfully seeking answers to this question.

I have learned through introspection and my amateur studies of human nature, is that a very common reason we bicker and engage in put-downs and rumors and so forth. is because we hurt, and because we mistakenly chose dysfunctional ways to deal with the hurt.

When we hurt, we may lash out both in vengeance and protectiveness, not realizing that the lashing out often engenders hurt and retribution, creating a downward cycle of mutual abuse.

This dysfunction tends to be exacerbated when individuals coalesce into gangs or mobs, thinking their is safety and solace in numbers. Hurt may then turn to anger and prejudice, which in turn may turn to hate and bigotry.

What makes this dysfunction so nefarious is the seductive, though false perception of justice and power. One may derive enormous gratification from exacting an eye for an eye and even more so in presumably vanquishing one's foe.

As such, we are drawn to the dysfunction and may become trapped in the downward cycle of mutual hurt.

And, it is not uncommon for us to become so blindingly immersed in the dysfunction that it takes extreme events like what has occurred here over the last several months on this board to wake us up and cause use to reflect and perhaps take pause. For some, even that wont suffice.

Thanks, -Wade Englund-


Thank you for your thoughts, Wade. I do not agree that bickering always has its origins in hurt.
We hate to seem like we don’t trust every nut with a story, but there’s evidence we can point to, and dance while shouting taunting phrases.

Penn & Teller

http://www.mormonmesoamerica.com
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