I was quick to judge

[_harmony]

No, you wouldn't have. You'd have turned the other cheek, just like I did.

No, I don' think so. I would have told them nicely what I thought about their actions against my son. I would have done it nicely though. You see, harmony, your actions only added to the problem. Even now, it is still lingering inside you. Best to handle it when it needed to be handled.

At that point, I still cared about what they thought, why me. Now... not so much, if at all.

[_zeezrom]

Why Me and BC,

I wish you would have been as verbose on my faith promoting threads!

But I'm still happy to address your concerns.
I'm not trying to criticize the church but rather say that I had/have a problem being judgmental. The problem is there are many opportunities for a person to feel judged by people in the church. Things become public or there is a fear of things becoming public, causing a person to fear judgment. Honor had some good points. I think it's human nature to be judgmental.

I have a TBM cousin (whom I named my son after) that I hold in high regard for one reason: he will never judge anyone rashly or say anything negative about a person if they aren't present. I would love to be more like him. He also found out I stopped going to church a couple months ago and it was a hard conversation.


I also want to start a discussion of how the natural tendency to judge creeps into individual members. If we see the church from the POV of a grouping of many people, thriving in a homogenous culture, maybe we end up equating the "church" with what we see in people around us.

[_LDSToronto]

Was I alone in being judgmental?

I have been the same kind of bastard, and loath ever being that way.

H.

[_Socrates]

Are you as quick in judging others of that age as you are in pronouncing yourself then to be judgmental?

[_zeezrom]

Are you as quick in judging others of that age as you are in pronouncing yourself then to be judgmental?

I don't know. I'll need some time to consider it.

But I am really judgmental of Utah fireworks. At least the law was recently changed to allow for shooters. I miss firecrackers!

[_LDSToronto]

And here is your second omission; you forgot to mention the doctrine of repentence and the Atonement of Christ which makes us eligible again.

Yes, a doctrine that many members of the LDS Church conveniently forget about when they apply "righteous judgment" against those who are involved in sexual transgression.

H.

[_harmony]

Yes, a doctrine that many members of the LDS Church conveniently forget about when they apply "righteous judgment" against those who are involved in sexual transgression.

H.

And the huge sin of being gay.

[_Yoda]

The SP, though... he barred him from reporting.

Why?

And why, if your son was allowed to report his mission in your ward, did the folks in your ward automatically think that your son was returning home for dishonorable reasons? I don't get it. If it was clear that he had returned due to medical reasons, it just doesn't make any sense at all.

I good friend of mine was released from his mission early due to medical reasons. He injured his foot while tracting. It was kind of a freak accident...but, apparently, when he fell, he ended up breaking his foot in three places, and had to have extensive surgery. He had to be flown home for the surgery, and he faced several months of physical therapy and recovery. They looked at the option of sending him back out, but the Stake President felt that he had served honorably, and should simply get on with his life. If I recall correctly, my friend had been out in the field for about 10 months as well.

I'm really sorry that your son went through this, and find it completely senseless. I'm just trying to understand how this could have happened.

[_Tchild]

If a church is really made up of the sum of its parts (members), I can see why so many people struggled with feelings of guilt and shame. We created our own problems.

I hear you Zee, I was pretty judgemental of others when younger and I seemed to always be comparing people against LDS gospel standards. When I think of it, I feel like such an ass.

Problem is, I still catch myself judging others based on new, non-LDS criteria that I now hold. I am not sure if it is mostly a human being thing, or an LDS thing, or both? Now, I oft times catch myselfy harshly judging LDS members by some other silly illusory belief(s) I hold and I am really trying to cut my old religion's believers some slack. It is hard, and I made my self-righteous judging of others a seemingly habitual process, so it is really hard to amend my ways.

Personally, I think it is mostly a human thing, but Mormon perfectionism seems to exacerbate it even more. It did for me at least. I think both Mormons and non-Mormons need to constantly work on trying to accept others without judgements.

[_Buffalo]

We often hear personal testimony of people's experience with guilt and shame piled on them for minor infractions on the rules established by Mormon leaders. Most often, we hear about transgressions in "morality" but we also hear about the guilt coming from not doing enough.

I feel the church has a problem in this regard. As I recall, Pres Hinckley used to say the gospel is all about the members. The devotion of each member makes up the whole. I don't remember his words exactly. His point has a lot of truth in it.

I had (and still have) a problem with making rash judgment of other people. Hopefully I am improving. Back in high school, I found out a girl I was dating had done something a little wild at a party. My friend witnessed it and then told me about it. I was devastated and in a matter of about 3 hours, had managed to place a judgment of hellish damnation on her. She was ruined in my opinion.

I can think of other times when I learned that a missionary had to wait before leaving. After hearing rumors of moral LofC infractions, I felt the actions taken against these boys were justified. I was only a teenager, and had already managed to become very judgmental.

Consider a church made up of members like me! How scary would that be! Members encumbered with their own guilt while at the same time loading up judgments against others. Was I alone in being judgmental?

If a church is really made up of the sum of its parts (members), I can see why so many people struggled with feelings of guilt and shame. We created our own problems.

Zeez, I too have struggled with being judgmental. I've found it's easier not to be judgmental after I stopped believing in judgment.