Missionaries and Emotional Manipulation

[_just me]

OK, yesterday we had the mishies over for dinner. During their message they did something that felt very emotionally manipulative.

First, they passed out "I'm a Mormon" cards to all of us.
Then, one of them told us about a recipe they had so that we all would get a miracle. I jokingly asked if the miracle could be more money to which they said it would be like God Money and earn me a bigger mansion in heaven. LOL

Anyway, they told us that if we prayed the Lord would prompt us with 5 names of people who were either struggling, inactive or non-mo who were ready for the gospel. Then, as we prayed one name would stick out as the One. We need to pray about that person every day and ask God what we need to do and when we need to do it by. Those were crucial parts of the recipe.

Now we are told that the mishies and their ward leader prayed and that a name of a woman in the other ward popped into their minds as having a friend who was ready. So, they went and told her that. She found a person she knew who started taking the discussions, etc and is being baptised on Sunday.

At this point the missionary who has been doing most of the talking looks at all of us in the face and says, "We met with ward mish leader and prayed and your name came up as knowing someone who is ready." He was really good. My heart did a flipflop/drop thing. I wanted to ask if they used that line on everyone, but refrained for the sake of family peace.

There was some discussion. He said in his close that he knew the spirit witnessed that we have someone who is ready because we all felt it.

I'm not sure how the other adults in the room felt, but the whole thing felt very emotionally manipulative to me. They were really good at it, too.

[_zeezrom]

I'm curious, how did your name come up? Did the Holy Ghost whisper "Bro. and Sis. JustMe" in their ears? Did they run their fingers along the ward list like a Ouija board and wait until their finger was forced to stop? Was it like the movie "Changling" where they heard a distant, whining voice cry out: "Justme.... ooooohhhhhh, must have.... a... visit..... they.... have a name.... for you....."

[_stemelbow]

I don't like the sound of that, just me. I probably would be feeling about the same as you if I were involved.

[_just me]

I'm curious, how did your name come up? Did the Holy Ghost whisper "Bro. and Sis. JustMe" in their ears? Did they run their fingers along the ward list like a Ouija board and wait until their finger was forced to stop?

That was the best part. There are two families in our house. So we were like "wait, which name?" LOL They said it was all of us so we made up a conglomerate name.

That part made it pretty obvious that is was just a line...to me.

[_Some Schmo]

OK, yesterday we had the mishies over for dinner. During their message they did something that felt very emotionally manipulative.

First, they passed out "I'm a Mormon" cards to all of us.
Then, one of them told us about a recipe they had so that we all would get a miracle. I jokingly asked if the miracle could be more money to which they said it would be like God Money and earn me a bigger mansion in heaven. LOL

Anyway, they told us that if we prayed the Lord would prompt us with 5 names of people who were either struggling, inactive or non-mo who were ready for the gospel. Then, as we prayed one name would stick out as the One. We need to pray about that person every day and ask God what we need to do and when we need to do it by. Those were crucial parts of the recipe.

Now we are told that the mishies and their ward leader prayed and that a name of a woman in the other ward popped into their minds as having a friend who was ready. So, they went and told her that. She found a person she knew who started taking the discussions, etc and is being baptised on Sunday.

At this point the missionary who has been doing most of the talking looks at all of us in the face and says, "We met with ward mish leader and prayed and your name came up as knowing someone who is ready." He was really good. My heart did a flipflop/drop thing. I wanted to ask if they used that line on everyone, but refrained for the sake of family peace.

There was some discussion. He said in his close that he knew the spirit witnessed that we have someone who is ready because we all felt it.

I'm not sure how the other adults in the room felt, but the whole thing felt very emotionally manipulative to me. They were really good at it, too.

These are the kinds of stories that make it easy for me to attack what people "hold sacred."

I really don't see any difference between what you described and a huckster holding a mock séance. Both are morally reprehensible.

[_Baker]

Had the same experience several times growing up - the "pick a name" game. The missionaries actually wanted each of us to choose a name - meaning that they were encouraging minor children to solicit their minor friends for conversion. Only problem for me is that I lived in an area that was 90+% Jewish - so not a lot of interest in a Christian church.

[_stemelbow]

That was the best part. There are two families in our house. So we were like "wait, which name?" LOL They said it was all of us so we made up a conglomerate name.

That part made it pretty obvious that is was just a line...to me.

Someone needs to clarify to these youngsters that its not beneficial to use any means necessary to assume progression in missionary work. Its not good to employ dishonesty, thinking it won't hurt if its really a good cause. That'll push more people away than not.

[_just me]

Had the same experience several times growing up - the "pick a name" game. The missionaries actually wanted each of us to choose a name - meaning that they were encouraging minor children to solicit their minor friends for conversion. Only problem for me is that I lived in an area that was 90+% Jewish - so not a lot of interest in a Christian church.

Yes. My minor children were also encouraged and promised the miracle. My second grader was kinda freaked out (scared) by it.

[_just me]

That was the best part. There are two families in our house. So we were like "wait, which name?" LOL They said it was all of us so we made up a conglomerate name.

That part made it pretty obvious that is was just a line...to me.

Someone needs to clarify to these youngsters that its not beneficial to use any means necessary to assume progression in missionary work. Its not good to employ dishonesty, thinking it won't hurt if its really a good cause. That'll push more people away than not.

They aren't coming up with this on their own. Leadership is encouraging these challenges and recipes and miracles. How do I , a NOM, tell them that what the ward mission leader and possibly area mission president is teaching them to do is manipulative and creepy?

[_Baker]

That was the best part. There are two families in our house. So we were like "wait, which name?" LOL They said it was all of us so we made up a conglomerate name.

That part made it pretty obvious that is was just a line...to me.

Someone needs to clarify to these youngsters that its not beneficial to use any means necessary to assume progression in missionary work. Its not good to employ dishonesty, thinking it won't hurt if its really a good cause. That'll push more people away than not.

Sad thing is, Stem, sometimes it does work. I used a lot of tactics as a missionary that weren't quite honest, all in the name of the greater good. These kids are hungry to succeed, and generally well-meaning. I agree with you, though.